I didn't get the job. What now?

[Thatisme]

Posting as in need of a hand hold. I work as an assistant team manager in a team of 14. I've been with my current employer for less than four years; started at the bottom and got promoted to assistant manager a year later. I do like my job, I'm a grafter and go over and beyond for colleagues and customers. I put pride in what I do and I always felt that this was recognised, as I have been receiving incredible feedback consistantly by colleagues and by my manager who I have a great working relationship with. Three weeks ago my manager announced that she would be covering another role for 9 months, so a secondment opportunity came up. Literally minutes after this was announced colleagues messaged me asking (assuming) I'd be apply to take her position. I did indeed apply and unanimously everyone thought, my manager included, that it was just a formality. The pressure was huge and I failed. They will not give me the job. I was the only candidate, because the job was virtually mine and I had been doing it unofficially for the last 3 weeks, but they will not give me the job. That's how shit I am!! The shittiest of shits! I only found out today and my world has crumbled. I just don't know what to do with myself. It's a level of failure that I don't know how to swallow. I didn't know that I was that shit. I only told 2 people at work, one being my manager, and they were shocked. What do I do? I can't even face going back, I can't stay now knowing what I know. I'm broken, utterly devastated. The feedback was that although I'm amazing at what I do, the interview was poor and didn't give them confidence I'm ready to move up. I'm not good enough basically and now everyone knows, including me. I'm that bad that I hadn't even figured it out until now and I'm 53. I know this post won't help, but it gave me something to do for a few minutes. Good night.

Ask them for detailed feedback on the areas you could have done better on in the interview and use it for your 2025 dev plan.

That is shit. However you are obviously great at your job and just need a bit of interview practice.

This is the downside of rigidly scored interview processes. There is no discretion for the interviewers to fall back on everything they already know about your ability to do the job.

Sorry to hear this. Must be a huge blow. Sounds like (a) you didn’t have much time to prepare for the interview and (b) those interviewing are one step removed from those who actually work with you day to day, so were judging by very theoretical on-paper criteria. Is it a big organisation with lots of standard processes?

You’re not shit, you’re just lacking interview practice.

Also, it’s quite possible they have someone they want to second to the post and there is another agenda at play that you don’t know about.

Not everyone is at their best in interviews and not all interviews are well managed.

Take comfort in the fact that you’re well supported by your colleagues and ask for feedback and show willing to learn in the areas you didn’t deliver in.

Sorry that’s a tough situation especially when you’re already aceing the actual job.

Something feels very off about this. You were the only candidate and already unofficially acting up in the role. Is it possible they are taking a calculated risk and think they can avoid paying you the salary bump and you'll just cover the role for them anyway?

If they do have a very rigid interview process they have to stick to, you've been unlucky rather than shit. If they can provide detailed feedback to help you see where you didn't demonstrate the capabilities you have, you can take it on the chin and be better prepared for the next opportunity that comes along.

I would also suspect, as @WhatapityWapiti that there is another agenda that you don't know anything about.

It's very understandable that you don't know how to go back in to work, that is a body blow. But hold your head up high and when people ask you can say 'I feel devastated that I didn't perform at interview the way I wanted to, but that's how it goes sometimes'. It sounds as if your team will be up in arms on your behalf anyway, whilst you can be all magnanimous about it whilst secretly agreeing with them.

There is a difficult team dynamic coming up - whoever does get put into the role is likely to face a lot of resentment from your team and the team will be led by your reaction.

Big girl pants on; it's a shit situation and you have my absolute sympathy. However, what you do next will one day be a great story in a future interview, about how you dealt with a professional setback. The story you'll want to tell then is how you demonstrated leadership, resilience and professionalism. It will sound way better when you're telling it than doing it is in reality, I do realise that! But you can do this. Chin up.

In your shoes, I'd start to look around for other promotion opportunities. Take the feedback at face value (there is no point driving yourself mad trying to work out what hidden agendas or politics might have been in play) and focus on improving your interview skills - there's loads of learning material online. If your present department doesn't value you, find somewhere else where you'll be appreciated.

OP, you don;t need to catastrophise over this. Everyone fails at something they want somewhere along the line and it is not always due to lack of ability.

As PP have said, I suspect they are trying to get you to continue with the responsibility without extra pay. I would really push back hard on this, in a completely unemotional way. Ask for feedback and then say, as you are not considered suitable for this managerial role, you no longer feel confident enough to do any of the tasks you have undertaken as Acting Manager and will return to your lower levels of responsibilty from today. Don't do the work without the recognition or pay.

And it may be time to look for another job at the next level up, and explain to the new company that you were acting manager in your boss's absence and realised you were ready to take on the next level of responsibility.

This happened to me, several years ago now - very similar circumstances - only 2 applied for the job and I was unsuccessful, and I and all my colleagues were shocked. Like you, I just couldn't come back for it so I applied for another internal role at a higher level and have been there since and it was the best thing I ever did. The successful candidate did not rise to the challenge either. I really do get it op AND I was older than you when this happened. I just took my excellent skills to my new role and smashed it

Some really good ideas here from PP.

I'm sorry OP, it is devastating. Chin up today, just get through it. Take the weekend to feel all the feelings and make a plan. Best of luck.

@Thatisme did they ask for applicants to second up to the temporary manager's job? perhaps they are hoping to get away with not paying the extra payment to you which you would require if you had got the job. they know you will do it anyway! try and find another job and just leave them up shit creek without a paddle!

I'm so sorry this has happened to you.
You sound a great employee who would have been perfect for the job.

I agree with PPs, my first thought was there is another agenda here. I suspect they are either trying to save the money for the post and hoping you'll just do it anyway. Or else they're expecting your manager won't return to the job and they'll say we managed fine without it for months so we don't need it.

Hold your head high, don't continue to unofficially do the job and start to look for other opportunities

I was always terrible in interviews, more so in internal interviews because they knew me.

You weren't successful so stop acting up and doing the role, revert to your old job.

They can't have it both ways.

Carry on being the best assistant manager. Don't ascribe your worth only to work.
Honestly, chin up, tits out, stick it in the fuckit bucket and move on.
By the end of next week it will be old news.

This sucks. As PP said, I would ask for detailed feedback. Once I had digested that, I would come back to them, and let them know that I could not continue the position on an u official, temporary basis. Stay factual, not emotional.

You are not shit. This isn't your mess to clean up.

This is not bad at all, essentially the interviewers and your colleagues know that you are good in your job, but for some reason you didn't interview well. That's very fixable! Hold your head up and say I didn't interview well, I'm going to prepare better for future job opportunities. And crack on.

I echo what Tribpot said - make sure that they are not expecting you to unofficially act-up as Manager without paying you for the role. Whatever extra you have been doing for the last three weeks, stop it now. Ask for feedback on the interview and areas for development. Being honest, do you think the interview went well? It sounds like the panel was people who don't know you through work so do you think you presented yourself in the best way?

I didn't get the promotion job I went for earlier in the year. I know it's a massive cliche, but it was the best thing that could have happened. They deleted the post in a restructure 2 weeks after my colleague who beat me started the job. They then made her reinterview for the newly created role that is basically 2 jobs in one. She got it (I didn't go for it) and is now completely stressed.

In the meantime I decided to look for another job and I start in january. Decent pay rise, better job, half the commute and I'm off the sinking ship.

At the time though I was embarrassed and thought that was it for my career. It most certainly wasn't. I just need to pick myself up and take control of the situation. And I am so happy that I did. Give yourself some time. And then ask yourself, what next. And go out there make something happen. Use this to motivate yourself. Something great could come out of it.

It sulks right now. I get that. Hope you're OK.

Stop acting-up, stop doing a manager's job for an assistant manager's pay.
Get detailed feedback so you can use the information in future interviews.
Is there an opening in the department that your manager is going to.

The feedback was that although I'm amazing at what I do, the interview was poor and didn't give them confidence I'm ready to move up

This isn't necessarily a terrible outcome. They praised your performance as assistant manager. Manager is a different role

Did you feel the interview went well? If so, ask for feedback & what they were looking for

Agree with PP, don't be tricked into doing manager role for assistant salary

And there may well be an agenda you don't know about

Years ago, I was approached for a role, interviewed, offered the job, invited to meet the team, attended induction training. And then, they said it should have been advertised externally. Everyone told me that this was just a formality. But they offered the job to someone else. I was furious and very upset. BUT - I had the last laugh as I found a far better job instead, so it all worked out really well in the end

Some fantastic advice here, OP - I most certainly would STOP covering the role - tell them that clearly you are not up to it or they would have given you the role, so you are reverting to doing your own role only - what can they say? Find your anger and look elsewhere - honestly I wouldn't have applied for a higher paid job if I hadn't lost out on the original role I applied for, and I am earning thousands more now than I would have been if I'd stayed, licked my wounds and carried on being really really bloody good at my job. I am really really bloody good at my new job as well. So will you be. Head up high and go for it

It's really shit. I've been there. Honestly? The best thing I did was leave for another company as I didn't really get over it and I ended up being resentful. I wish I'd moved on straight away rather than hanging around for a year. You don't owe them your career. Move on.

This hasn't exactly happened to me (there were internal and external candidates) but I once didn't get a public sector promotion which others expected me to win, and was pretty devastated for a long time.

In my case (on reflection and in the feedback) it really was the interview, not capability or suitability for the role. When you interview internally, it's so important that you treat the process as if the panel don't know you at all, and that you don't make assumptions that they already know your worth. In a fair and thorough process, you will be scored accordingly. My interview was poor (it really was, I interview others all the time!), and I couldn't compete with the successful candidate who isn't necessarily a better fit for the role, but who demonstrated the qualities they were looking for in a way I failed to do.

I'm sorry you feel so low. Pick yourself up, hold your head up and look for other (internal or other) opportunities.

@Thatisme you need to put this in perspective. You didn’t do well at the interview it doesn’t mean you are shit. You are definitely not the shittiest of shits.

Clearly you are good at your job but this didn’t come across in the interview. All your colleagues will feel is sympathy. If they were expecting you to get the job they clearly value you.

Everyone can do a poor interview, you are not alone. Go back to work and hold your head high.

As pp have said ask for detailed feedback. Do not let them get you to do the job without the recognition. Keep asking how will they fill the role. If they advertise it again, ask if you can apply.

You’re not shit, you interviewed badly. There is a HUGE difference. Plenty of shit people interview well, get jobs, fail miserably. The fact everyone told you this was a formality did not help you. If your manager had given you warning of this being a real recruitment exercise and not a tick box exercise then you’d definitely have prepared better.
That’s the lesson to take from this. Take every interview, no matter what for, or who is interviewing as something requiring plenty of prep. No one interviews someone who has OVER prepared and thinks “look at that overly prepared person, that’s a terrible character trait”. Even if they don’t ultimately get the job, they have made a positive impression that could stand them in good stead later down the line.
But they DO look poorly on those who are under prepared.
Did you read the job description and person specification inside out? Did you find specific examples of things you have done that demonstrate the required and desirable skills and experiences? Think the STAR method of interview question (Situation, Task, Action, Result).
Also demonstrate you’ve thought about the role and what you can do with it. I don’t know what line of work you’re in, but let’s say you would be managing a team/ area of the business that consistently under-performs. Are they looking for someone to come in and effect change quickly, or is it a highly performing team that requires a more softly-softly, business as usual approach to keep it where it is now?
If you’re not sure it doesn’t hurt to ask THEM what they see the role being and what they would want the person chosen to achieve. This shows you are genuinely giving the role real thought. And if you get surprising answers you could also find out that, actually, this role isn't what you thought and you don’t actually want it.
Also bear in mind that there may be bigger things afoot you don’t know about and they are seeing this as an opportunity to really change the role. Secondments, especially if maternity cover where there is a suspicion the person won’t return, can act as an opportunity for companies to re-evaluate the job role and make changes even if they don’t make that common knowledge.

You feel embarrassed, everyone has been (wrongly!) telling you it was in the bag. That’s fair enough. Lesson learned. This is your time to prove your resilience. Ask for more detailed feedback on where you interviewed badly and what kinds of answers they were looking for.
Then, if another opportunity presents itself that you feel you want to go for (at this company or a new one), you can use what you’ve learned and even have an example of “a time you’ve failed” or “a time you’ve had to be resilient” to land a better job.

ETA: Agree with others about advocating for yourself. If they expect you to act-up into the role until they get the cover then ask for an acting-up allowance. You should absolutely be compensated for taking on additional responsibilities.

You need to end the pity party. You aren't shit at your job that is clear, you are shit at interviews - that can be improved.

Get some quality feedback.
Do some practise interviews with a friendly senior person.
Do some research on good interview technique - do you need to use the STAR method - if so at the end did you relate to how that scenario relates to the job you went for particularly if using an example away from your current workplace.