Work depression - anyone relate?

[Honeysucklelane]

I am really down, angry or crying at my desk the majority of the time when I’m at work. It’s got to the point where I feel like I need antidepressants - but on my days off I’m fine. I had a really lovely, happy week off over half term,

I WFH, only do 24hrs, I have a lovely home office, the pay is better than equivalent roles I can find, but yet I’m so unhappy. I can’t deal with the bombardment of emails and teams messages coming at me, I hate sitting through dull online meetings. The organisation lacks proper staffing structure and any proper management. The context of what I do is incredibly dull and the systems are poorly set up.

If I try to articulate these feelings to family I get told there are lots of worse jobs and people working far harder for far less money in much worse environments. I should be grateful I’ve even got a job.

I know all of this, but I cannot help how I feel. Every work day I give myself a huge kick up the arse and vow to be positive, but within a couple of hours I’m shouting at the screen or crying in frustration.

Oh my gi of im you even down to the hours.
No advice, just sympathy.
Wfh is making me v depressed and hate my house too.

Oh my god that should be, typed too quickly in shock at the fact we are in identical situations
Any other jobs I look at are at least £10k less a year as I'm remote with head office based somewhere with higher salaries (and we get PMI and bonuses)

Sounds like you need to find another job, regardless of what other people think

Yes I get a bit like this although some days better then others. My main issue is sheer frustration at others in our ( small) team not pulling their weight and an ineffective manager who does nothing about it despite me constantly asking her to. I then start to think why should I bother but that's not really me, I go to work to do my best for people especially as we deal with often quite vulnerable people. So it just ends up in a frustrated cycle of me feeling thoroughly resentful towards some work colleagues and a manager who won't address the problem . I am looking for other jobs but it's quite a niche market and I don't get paid badly for what I do.

I’m so sorry you feel this way too. I feel guilty for disliking it so much. My DH has learnt not to ask how work was because he doesn’t like my answer. He luckily really enjoys his job and has lots of people to chat to.

I’m actively looking. I would love to be able to give this one up and have a break and try and reset my sorry self, and really think hard before jumping into another role.

It’s so frustrating when others don’t pull their weight. We’re all home based and I do wonder if some of the others in the team are doing the bare minimum, because they can. Management is lacking, they say we’re a really busy small team, but I have worked in far busier places where more stuff actually got done by the same amount of staff.

This sounds hard, you need to put something in place while you maybe look for a new role.

Can you go for a quick 15min walk on your lunch break? For the dull meetings can you have a crossword or puzzle next to you to complete (it will look like your taking notes). Start to think it’s only a job so what brings you joy, what makes it’s tolerable?

It hasn’t even been tolerable recently. I’ll get an email and whilst I’m actioning it I’ll get a teams message saying, “Did you get the email? Can you do that please?”

There’s quite a passive aggressive vibe going on. The other day someone in our team didn’t answer a message - because she actually called the person who messaged her instead of typing back and forth. The line manager who wasn’t even working that day weighed in with, “Sarah??” “Are you there?”

I only get half an hour for lunch, sometimes meetings are run back to back across lunch time too from 11-2:30 But I do need to make the effort to get out. Winning the lottery and jacking the job in would bring me immense joy. 😂

Ive worked remotely since 2016 and i actually do hybrid now (2 x days in office) which helps me get out of the house even though im a introvert. I enjoy 2 x days in another location.
Can you block out your calendar? I block out my lunch time in advance and finish time ( so i can do them both promptly) plus if people want to book meetings, they can see im unavailable.

Unfortunately, you naturally get bored after a few years doing the same thing/tasks. I usually move on, ever 2/3yrs.
But ive found doing hybrid is a perfect mix after years of being fully remote.

@Honeysucklelane
Same with my DH. He gets lots of social interaction and then wants to be at home evenings and weekends whereas I am desperate to get out. DS is also a home bird.
Whereas home now represents a lot of work stress me.

OP it is not worth your health to stay in a job just to have a job. Your workplace seems badly organised and with micromanagement. You are the one having to get through the day so don’t let friends and family tell you the feeling is not valid. You may be better off than someone toiling in a garment sweat shop but it shouldn’t be the benchmark of when you do something about your own situation.

In addition to the workplace you might separately have depression. I stayed in a similar job for much longer because I thought I was the problem. When I started anti depressants and some counselling i left.

Currently I’m experiencing depression around work but the stress is about the actual work and I have great colleagues and pretty good manager. I might start a thread of my own, I was thinking about it last week.

Yes every day is a battle on 7 different lines and it doesn’t stop. I wake up feeling no. Mindful I’m clock watching the entire day and thinking a job 11 years ago phone based was so different.

I then feel bad when people who are signed off for external reasons because of home based situations but get to proclaim they love their job. Very confused I don’t feel that and cannot wait for the misery to come to end first quarter of next year.

I feel huge sympathy for you. It's so horrible when you are unhappy at work (tell me about it!).
However, on the basis that you are asking for help and switching jobs isn't immediately feasible, can I suggest a book? 'Surrounded by idiots' helps give a bit of an insight into why certain people act in certain ways. The manager asking 'Sarah are you there?!' Is likely under pressure from above to make the team more productive and is worried that they are not pulling their weight - or even working and doesn't know how to trust people to get on with it.

Without seeing the messages flying about showing people are responding, they have no idea if people are actually at their desks/picking up the work. I'm not saying it's right but could you start to think about how you approach messages like that ie teams them to let you know that you are picking up that one. Do it proactively and it becomes less personal (like someone is checking up on you) but you are helping them out by letting them know you are on it and you can smile at yourself knowing you are ahead of them all.

It feels like you need to change the way you think about it - that book might help.

I’m in the same position though work full time. I hate my job and it’s almost entirely down to my colleague and boss because when I did the same position working for someone else in the organisation, I loved it! But we had one of our many restructures and I got shoved here. I feel sick and have diarrhea every morning as a stress response. I’m currently signed off for two weeks. There’s another restructure soon and I’m praying for redundancy.

I say this all the time - I'm not actually depressed, it's completely work related. But for me, I've changed jobs x3 now - better pay, better team, more meaningful. But still, the frustration, sadness, stress and anxiety remain. For me it's just having to sit there for 8 hours doing things that I don't want to do (as childish as that sounds) it just all feels meaningless, disconnected and like wasting a life away. So no advice - just sympathy and hugs!

My husband says I should block out lunch times. I find it really inconsiderate they book meetings over standard lunch times. I get half an hour, others have an hour. We’re only an 8 person team, it would be very easy to have meetings 10-11. I think there’s a culture of people not taking their unpaid break, therefore they don’t factor it in.

I love my home, but it feels now like the work misery has crept into my haven as my house serves as my place of work too.

Thanks, this is how I feel. When I tell friends / family how I feel they treat me like I’m difficult. I just feel life can be very short, I’d rather be cracking on with some housework or baking than sat staring at a computer for hours doing something very dull I have no interest in. I feel like I sound like a ‘spoilt child.’

I’m so sorry to hear this. Look for something else or maybe get signed off if it’s making you ill.

Also posting in solidarity. I just feel like is this it? I have bills to pay so I have to keep going but surely there has to be a better way than to spend the majority of my life? I have small kids and I’m away from them and it just feels bad. Everyone tells me how lucky I am to have a job like I do but I am just sitting here wishing I could be doing anything else some days!

I currently work full time and I am wondering whether cutting down my hours would make this better. Also fully remote and wonder if that makes it worse.

I just find the corporate world a bit of cesspit these days. People generally behaving appallingly. I have had a load of interviews for other roles and absolutely no luck, it’s soul destroying!

I feel completely the same! Sorry you feel this way too, but nice to know I’m not alone and not going completely mad

Thank you. I have found some openings in two firms in the industry that may suit so I'll pursue those and keep eyes open for others. It would mean a salary cut but we can manage.

Sorry to hear this. This is the first time I’ve WFH and had no office to go to. My previous job was difficult and I found it boring as there wasn’t enough to do, but at least I was in an office with a good bunch of people to chat to.

Sounds crap.

You say the systems are poorly set up. Can you suggest improvements to the Systems? You then would feel you were at least steering things in a positive direction.