Looking for perspective on professional email etiquette...

[marriagehelpplease]

For 2 years, a senior manager has:

• Never addressed me by name in emails (just "Hi")
• Never used courtesies like "hope you have a good weekend"
• Kept communication minimal and basic

However, I just saw their email to a junior colleague where they:

• Used their name ("Hi [Name]")
• Added "hope this is ok"
• Wished them a nice weekend (in two years never done this?

For context - I'm more senior than the person, the report to me directly.

Am I reading too much into the difference in communication style?

Interested in others' professional opinions, especially from those in management positions.

I can't really comment on the dynamics of your relationship with the manager, but my advice is don't occupy your mental energy on such things as comparing people's communications. It really doesn't matter (ask yourself how many emails you remember from 6 months, 9 months, 12 months ago...). You'll be pleased to know they are undoubtedly completely oblivious to your concern and are getting on with their busy day regardless.

I send dozens of emails a day, and focus more on keeping them consistent and as concise as possible, with as few niceties as possible, other than good morning or good afternoon, especially to the higher-ups. I work in a very formal sector so I'm used to quite bland, information-rich and polite but non-chatty emails. To be honest, it's a relief not having to worry about anything other than getting my message across effectively.

if you don't otherwise have any concerns about the rapport you have with the person, then try to focus more on nurturing a good collaborative relationship with them, which is all you can ever control.

I am more professional in my communications with senior people than in my communications with junior people. I think that's normal isn't it? I change the tone of my email to suit the recipient (although I generally use the name). Pleasantries like 'I hope you're well' are a bit of a waste of time and most people I work with find them annoying.

@daisychain01 I agree with you but this isn't just one email they Have had a pattern of doing this for two years! In every email they dismiss my name but I managed to get a copy of one they sent earlier in the week to someone more junior and it was by name!

@mynameiscalypso agree, so is it fair to expect someone after two years of emailing you to use your name?

But then they use it with more junior staff so it's clearly not coincidental,

I would normally only use the 'Have a good weekend' line if there's been some massive work-based hassle to deal with, and the weekend will be a blessed relief.

Otherwise, I just think your colleague is being brief and polite, and I wouldn't read anything into it other than a different communication style.

Is the other more junior person a man?

Why is this bothering you though?

They are to the point and professional when dealing with you, their senior.

To a junior they are more informal.

I could not get worked up about this at all, they're not there to be your pal.

As an aside, has your organisation ever done Insights or something similar? They may have you pegged as 'red'; be brief, be bright, be gone.

What are they like when interacting with you face-to-face?

@nomorehocuspocus it's more the name that's bothered me, like I say this isn't a one off a consistent pattern for years which I didn't take personally until I saw them address someone else differently.

Whilst not going into the specifics the person has done many things to try and disrespect me and be personal towards me, and I guess this pattern I feel kinda proves I'm not going crazy!

@marriagehelpplease I honestly wouldn't notice or care.

Of course we have a drip feed after everyone has been saying it's not a big deal.

The inconsistency does seem odd. Could there be any other reason - is your name hard to spell? (not that that would justify it)

@PullTheBricksDown no female

@ALunchbox often rude to be honest, we have had quite a few run ins shall we say, hence why I have probably picked up on this but I still feel its not coincidental

@RadioBamboo not at all one of the simplest...

@TinkerTiger well doesn't context help!?

Sounds like they don't like you then!

@RadioBamboo and thank you, I knew I wasn't going crazy!!

I'll also add I never get confirmation emails - ever.

I appreciate I could put please confirm receipt but not every email needs that, however some emails depending on their nature are just polite to respond to?

I have never had confirmation in two whole years. Even to serious natured emails

You're over analysing

People's email etiquette has really gone down hill, particularly since COVID

Where I work people don't even respond to emails or Teams

I have never had confirmation in two whole years. Even to serious natured emails

^

I've sent bids to people for 5 million plus... No response. No confirmation of reception. No thanks.

It boggles my mind how people can not respond. Incredible

Stop worrying about it! I don't think raising it with the rude emailer will help. If you complain to HR about the tone of emails you will come across as crazy!

Unfortunately some people at work just don't like other people. At least you are aware and can be on the lookout for anything they decide which affects you and is actually important.

Agree @RadioBamboo I'm just trying to work out that it is likely personal and I'm not going crazy that's all!

Am I reading too much into the difference in communication style?

Yes.

Is the junior person new?
I've been in my role for several years and my line manager and I cut the courtesies out of emails years ago. We don't even sign them let alone both with "hi" or "how was your weekend". We'll go and see each other if there's a problem or we want a chat.