Previous threads: https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/work/5123403-unhealthily-intense-relationship-with-boss-update
I was demoted last September. My outsider replacements have had a turbulent time and are very defensive. They haven’t run the team profitably (I did).I am supported by all my longstanding colleagues, so our relationship has been difficult.
Since February I’ve had 5 very long meetings with my boss, the business owner. He has been reasonably candid about how the story looks from his point of view, He has given me a great deal of time. He hasn’t apologised but we have genuinely heard each other out. We did an appraisal that we should have done 18 months ago.
My boss gave me very accurate perceptive feedback on what I was like back in 2014 when we first met. In return I have asked him to “update the snapshot” that he carries of me in his mind - he said that’s a fair request and that our conflicts had led to him having a crystallised image of me.
I feel that this crisis has prompted me to learn a lot very fast, whilst keeping my character. Ideally I’d take those lessons elsewhere but I’m in a sexist and ageist industry - leaving and finding a similarly well-paid role is harder than it sounds.
He has asked me for a proposal to lead a sub team, ie he is opening the door again. But he wants an eject button.
I’m genuinely grateful that he has put in all this time working with me. At the same time he is very much off his pedestal now.
I’d be really grateful for advice/thoughts.