Today I was told to stop repeating myself

[ElTortilla]

I've been under a lot of stress at work. Today I was talking about yet another stressful issue to my boss and he told me rather sternly and in so many words to stop repeating myself. I was quite upset about it but I understand that the stress I'm under might be making me extra sensitive. Aibu to feel put out and offended?

Have you been particularly negative and repetitive and going on about things. Especially about things that haven't been decided or will take time to be put into place.

I've got colleagues who are like a broken record sometimes.

Sounds like it’s been brewing a while so surely it’s better he told you and you can work on not doing it.

I've only been negative about one thing. He was stressed at something else and narked at something else but the something we were discussing was about something that had just come up.

Do you frequently repeat yourself?

Why do you keep repeating yourself? It's very annoying if someone has acknowledged your point. Unless you have serious concerns and they haven't been acknowledged there's no need.

I think that sounds rather rude, I hope it wasn’t in front of others.

I wonder if you are having to repeat yourself, if he is offering the support you’re asking him for?

Do you struggle with anxiety?

I am only asking, because a colleague of mine was doing the same and it was down to her anxiety.

That's a tough one. Some people do have a tendency to repeat themselves but it's not usually done consciously or intentionally.

I'm probably biased, because the nature of my work means I encounter people who do repeat themselves. I certainly wouldn't point it out or be rude about it, no matter how many times they do it.

Do you feel that he's right?

Perhaps you wouldn't have to repeat yourself if he did his job.

I don't feel he really acknowledged me which is why I repeated myself.

When my anxiety hits the roof .. that's when I do it.its probably quite common or I'd like to think it is so I'm not an oddball.

I have a staff member like this. She just comes and moans and moans. It's all I can do not to start breaking into office babble and saying things like - bring me solutions, not problems. I groan inwardly when she walks up and asks if she can have another word.

It's fine to raise concerns; everyone should be doing so, but framing it constructively helps.

Writing down what you want to say first to get it straight in your head might help, if you feel your anxiety is taking over.

Was it something he can help with, or something he has control over?

I must admit I have someone in my team who constantly complains about certain processes/annoying things that are part of the job.

There is nothing I can do about these things, they're standard parts of our industry and there's nothing I can do about them (old broken processes/system downtimes/unpleasant parts of the role):

I do get fed up with her constant complaining, her complaining is even worse than the annoying issue.

Did you just literally repeat yourself? There's a big difference between "can we just return to talking about X before we move onto Y please? I don't feel I have put my point across clearly/I would like to reach a resolution or make a plan etc" versus "I think xyz" on repeat. The latter is draining and likely to get you ignored.

I can see this both ways. I've been in a position where I've been a line manager and had the same issue being raised that I have followed up and communicated back on and had to call and end to it.
Today at a new employer I've raised an issue and repeated it as I think it's impactful enough to raise a few times until it gets at least acknowledged.
Perhaps ask for feedback and how they would expect you to do this differently in the future.

It's all I can do not to start breaking into office babble and saying things like - bring me solutions, not problems

I'm stealing this to use against my whinger tomorrow.

If you normally have a good relationship with your manager and he isn’t normally snippy with you then it sounds like you were both a bit stressed and over reacted to each other. Not ideal but not worth holding on to.

If you don’t normally have a good relationship with your manager and he is often critical in this way, then you can either try managing up (so being prepared to give him what he wants in a way he’ll accept) or moving on. Because it doesn’t sound serious enough that you’d get any joy out a complaint about him (though if there is more serious stuff than this, then the advice changes) and you are unlikely to be able to change him.

In either case, I find trying not to take it personally but to see it as his failing, not yours, is the best way to deal with emotional fall out from something like this.

I often find if someone is repeating themselves its either a disability (autism, stutter, dementia etc...) or far more commonly its simply because the person they are talking to is ignorant, stubborn and/or thick and not getting what people are trying to say.

If someone find people are often 'repeating themselves' they may do well too look at why the person/people think they struggling to absorb that basic information to the point they need to be beaten over the head with it for it to go in.

I repeat myself OP. I annoy myself with it, let alone others. I’m working on it

Consider it feedback
and change your behavior
no
big deal

Yeah I would have replied “I was wanting to make sure you had heard me”.

You shouldn’t need to have to repeat yourself.

This.

If he had acknowledged you then he wouldn’t have had to have heard it again. He’s rude.

Id be offended if i had to repeat myself to the boss if he had done nothing about it the first time i mentioned it.

You feel he has not acknowledged you, or he had not acknowledged you? I'm not sure what you mean by "feel". He either had or had not

Just today I have almost been brought to tears by several people repeating themselves over and over. As if I'll just eventually do what they want if they just keep saying the same thing again and again.