Do you socialise with employees you line manager?

[MooseAndSquirrelLoveFlannel]

I manage a team of 10 people. Mix of men and women and age ranges.

They have decided to arrange a team outing and invited me along. I like them all, on the face of it I have no issues attending but then started to doubt if it is appropriate for me to do so?

My husband has manager responsibilities in his job and has always tried to keep a separation between him and his staff, but we're in completely different professions. His is much more scrutinised by the public.

I'm new to being a manager, so still navigating my way through it and so I would appreciate guidance from the experienced line managers of MN.

What's the 'team outing'? If it's a piss up then I'd not go. Meal then I'd go

Yes, I do - this is normal in my company. I’d look at what others do around you and mirror that.

As a group yes absolutely. One-on-one no.

Yes you go and buy a round but don't stay too late

My most respected boss would either come along and have one glass of red wine and then leave after due to a 'prior arrangement', or would decline but send a trusted attendee in the team with £40 in their pocket to buy the team a round.

If you stay, you'd most likely end up getting cornered by someone wanting to chat through their career trajectory, or bitching about something they'd regret in the morning!

If it's a mix of ages and sexes it's probably not going to be a regular thing so yes I would go.
In my team the younger ones were quite sociable and went out fairly regularly, us older ones generally didn't go.
I'd go if it was leaving drinks, someone's birthday or other special occasion
In one of my teams we had an annual golf tournament in the summer which I would go to.
In other teams they organised various trips which I'd go to if interested
Eg yes to the theatre, no to the races.

The plan is for a meal and drinks. Some of us will need to get hotel rooms as we are a geographically spread team.

I don't really drink, so wouldn't be out on a piss up. But maybe go to the meal and then leave would be a happy medium.

Because we are spread around the whole country, there isn't a lot of socialising to be honest. Saying that, my boss has invited me on a Christmas piss up outing. Which again would require travel and a hotel for me. Again, I don't really drink so wouldn't be a wild night for me.

I would go but not stay too late.
As you don't drink there isn't a risk of embarrassing yourself or saying something you shouldn't.
To be honest I recently went out with 2 of my staff members due to a special birthday. I regretted it the next day and won't be reoeating it. A healthy distance is always a good thing I think.
Group settings are fine.

I used to strike a balance. I really liked my team and was always invited to social events (meals usually) but probably went to one in three. That way I could enjoy their company sometimes but also give them the space to let off steam without me!

No.

This sounds like a fairly official social, with people booking hotels etc. I think it would be really poor form if you didn’t attend.

You probably should leave first to give them a chance to bitch about you, but you’re a team leader of a team of ten not the CEO, keep it in perspective.

Yes I would - I think it’s good to! I don’t drink at work things anyway but I would just leave before things get rowdy.

We're quite a new team, and I really happy they are arranging this as it will be great for bonding.

On the one hand, I want to leave them to it so they build their own relationships but also I want them to feel like I am approachable and not putting myself on a pedestal above them (if that makes any sense)

Depends a bit on organisation culture. Where I work, it would be fine / expected for line managers to go along to whole team outings, but it would also be expected that these are not complete piss-ups.

I think it becomes problematic when a manager socialises regularly with a sub-set of their team.

Why? What reasoning do you have?

They are spread around Gloucester, Cornwall, Bedford, London so it's arranged in London meaning hotel rooms are a must.

Some of them are definitely more party animal or a drinker than I am. I would leave earlier than most I expect.

I never really want to go to these things but see it as part of my role. Like a PP, I go to about 1 in 3 and my team are either astoundingly polite or they do actually mean it when they say they like it when I come. If I don't go, I normally give someone some money towards the drinks. I make sure I never have more than two drinks and leave early though.

Does depend on organisational culture. I used to work in an organisation where everyone socialised, including a lot of alcohol. Mostly it was fine, occasionally it went very wrong. Couldn’t take my manager very seriously after taking her back to mine and tucking her up on my sofa, because I couldn’t possibly let her make her way home alone absolutely paralytic.

Id say go for the meal, leave before anyone is drunk. It’s not just about your behaviour, it’s about whether or not you want to be present when other people are drunk. Witnessing inappropriate behaviour can put you in a difficult situation.

I think it becomes problematic when a manager socialises regularly with a sub-set of their team.

I 100% agree. There's a fine line that shouldn't be crossed, and it can cause a lot of issues if the people you manage think you're their friend. I always foster a pleasant and supportive environment, and I genuinely like everyone I currently manage, (I'm very lucky), but I am not their "friend."

We always go to these thing en masse. We’re a huge range of ages (and managers are often not older) in professional roles. Even if I got pissed I am certain my team would just make sure I was safe and then laugh at me in the morning. (I wouldn’t but others certainly have).

I'd go to the meal and then leave money behind the bar for a round of drinks and call it a night myself

Daytime activity maybe.

When alcohol is involved I have one drink and then leave them to it.

In your situation I usually go for the meal, buy a round and then duck out before the night really gets going!

This is where I am at odds with myself. I am sure I want to be a manager where my staff feel I am friendly, approachable and that they can come to me. But also, the nature of our role means I also have to make tough decisions about their work and raise service failures so I also need to maintain a level of authority.

My manager was excellent, and has become a friend but certainly moreso since she left the business. I never socialised with her whilst I worked for her. But much of that was just the practicalities of getting such dispersed staff together.