Do you socialise with employees you line manager?

[MooseAndSquirrelLoveFlannel]

I manage a team of 10 people. Mix of men and women and age ranges.

They have decided to arrange a team outing and invited me along. I like them all, on the face of it I have no issues attending but then started to doubt if it is appropriate for me to do so?

My husband has manager responsibilities in his job and has always tried to keep a separation between him and his staff, but we're in completely different professions. His is much more scrutinised by the public.

I'm new to being a manager, so still navigating my way through it and so I would appreciate guidance from the experienced line managers of MN.

You are their manager not their mate.
Go for the meal and duck out.

I would. It will be a good event for team cohesion.

I'm really pleased they are planning this event, as certainly Teams meetings can only go so far and it will help.

I'm thinking, go to the meal and then leave them to it. Bung them some cash for a round and catch my train home.

It depends on the dynamic of your workplace. I manage a large team too, but at my workplace we don't have a "parent/child" relationship for managers and team members. We all treat each other as equals. I don't tell anyone what to do or control their behaviour. My job as manager is to lead our work, coordinate different people's work stream, provide leadership, bring the team together. So yes, we do all go to work social activities.

Definitely not a parent/child relationship here, but also the nature of the job inevitably means dealing with complaints and service failures so a level of authority is needed and I don't want to undermine that.

I would for a limited time but would be aware some of the team will probably not be totally relaxed with me there.

I’m leaving soon so it won’t be an issue any longer but I was friends with some of my staff before I took over as manager so have continued to meet some staff outside of work without issue. We don’t have piss ups or anything, it is all very civilized and it is only a few staff.

i do know someone more senior than me that goes out regularly with subordinate staff for alcohol fueled nights out and I do think that is a tricky boundary to navigate but I’m old and that wouldn’t be my cup of tea anyway!

Exactly this.

Being a manager is a job role and not a medal of authority.

The only time I’ve experienced poor manager/colleague relations is when a manager has been friends with a select group of colleagues and excluded others. They had a WhatsApp group where I clocked screenshots of colleagues Facebook status’s etc and they’d gain favour when booking Xmas holidays etc. it became a tricky situation for all involved.

I am a person that doesn't mingle with coworkers outside of work so I say don't go but that's the easy answer of course and I'm also not a manager.
How long have you managed this crew? How do you want to be viewed as a manager? Your crew seems to feel comfortable enough to invite you. Maybe go this time to "keep face" for now and play it by ear in the future. Staying for the meal and leaving before drinks as you mentioned in a previous comment isn't a bad idea.

No chance of that, I have enough decency to ensure there isn't favouritism or anything like that but nevertheless I have to be able to manage them as well and that does mean pulling up mistakes and things. I'm not mean though, it's always constructive and reminder of policy etc. I'm clear that I want them to succeed and if I'm responding to a service failure it's because I want them to improve so it doesn't happen again.

I've been their manager for just over 3 months, but worked with 3 of them for several years as we were the same role, before I was promoted and inherited them into my team when we shuffled around the team structure. Others are brand new to the business, hence why I'm delighted they are arranging this get-together and building the team closeness.

My team all like me, we get along well. We can chat and they seem relaxed around me. I'm certainly not putting myself on a pedestal above them, and wouldn't want to. I think they're all awesome, and feel lucky to have such great team members.

It does sound like you have your head on your shoulders when it comes to socialising with colleagues. I wouldn’t over think it and go and enjoy some social time together and get to know them all a bit more. Enjoy!

I agree here.
Maybe don't overthink it.
I manage a mid size team. Relationships in teams will vary and I am.more friendly with some than others however I treat all team.members the sane regardless of relationships.
Socialising wouldn't change that and they know im their boss. There is no favouritism. Just be consistent in your approach when in work.

@MooseAndSquirrelLoveFlannel

I would go for a meal and leave before drinks then!
Since you have been managing this team for a few months now they should know how things work. Just stay consistent in your managing approach 🙂 you seem fair and I'm sure your team would agree. Especially since they feel comfortable to invite you out 🙂

I'm quite surprised that this hierarchy type of leadership style still exists. I think it died out in the 60s where I live. We all socialise together. CEOs, receptionists, IT guy, HR manager you name it. Socially nobody is above anyone else.

Yes, go for the meal, then after the meal get a round in, not including yourself, and say farewell

Socially we aren't, obviously. Professionally, we very much are, and I think that's fairly easy to appreciate. That's why combining your social and professional life can be problematic, and if it's an event with colleagues, it's never purely social.

I agree with those sayjng that it's a fine line between being friendly and informal as a manager and actually have to be quite direct. You can bumble along the former route for a while but it usually falls apart quite quickly, especially if there are issues of underperformance. I've definitely had situations when someone I've line managed has taken great personal offence and me pulling them up on things because they thought we were friends. I've stepped back a bit to make sure there's a healthy balance.

I became really close friends with the only person I've ever line managed. She's one of my best friends. My line manager now often joins us for social events.
I don't see the issue. We're all just people.

Whilst I was happy to socialise I steered clear of being Facebook or other social media friends
I had to discipline two members of staff for things which were reported to me on Facebook.

One of my best friends is a former line manager. We both moved jobs a lot and she was my line manager for two roles. I didn't take advantage and she didn't show any favouritism but other people's perceptions were difficult at times

I was happy enough to socialise when there wasn't too much of a gap between my level and age. However the last couple of times I have been out and been the most senior person there were a bit of a disaster and I'm not going to do it again. I'll leave before the drinks start.

My manager arranges team meetings for us quarterly and this is always followed by dinner and drinks in the evening. She is very sociable and loves to have a laugh but we also really respect her as a result and get the job done for her. I don't think the socialising makes me look at her any differently. In fact, it makes me want to do my job better for her.

'I'm thinking, go to the meal and then leave them to it. Bung them some cash for a round and catch my train home.'

This seems a good balance from what you've said.

I do. But then I came up through the ranks, and my team expect me to organise it, so I do. I can also hold me beer so it all works out ok. I can't say I enjoy it much because they all moan about work to me, but I see it as needed bonding time, to be grinned at and borne.

I think going to the meal and then making your excuses is fine. Maintain an air of professionalism ie not getting drunk. Maybe buy them a round of drinks as you leave?

I disagree. Going for a meal after work is hardly combining work and social life - it’s team bonding.

Meeting up at the weekends or going away together - now that’s a step too far with your direct reports.