Worth it to double my salary?

[Heatherbell1978]

I'm in a professional role earning £70k. Mid 40s, DH, 2 DC. Only ever worked for 2 large organisations (finance). My current role is great - lots of autonomy, nice team, nice manager and I can wfh most days. Work compressed hours so I have one day a week off. Good at what I do and the job is flexible around family needs.
An ex colleague has asked me if I'm interested in applying for a role in a different organisation. They're looking for more females to address the balance apparently. It's working in a field I used to do years ago and enjoyed but moved away from when DC entered the picture - quite stressful and travel involved.

Here's the thing. It would be double my current salary (including guaranteed bonus) but...based in a city a 3 hr train journey away.

I could negotiate 1 or 2 days a week in the office apparently although I'd need to fund travel myself. Officially they ask for 3 days in the office.
DH also has a relatively big job but can wfh a lot. DC 7 and 10.
It feels like the travel would wear me down after a while. Or not? Is it worth it? WWYD?

Not as a commute but I know people who do similar but rent a room that they stay in a few nights a week.

Are you aware of the tax taper between 100k and 125k that means you lose your personal allowance? You may not get as much after tax as you think.

You need to sit down and do the maths.

The contract can say whatever you insist it says. That's the point of negotiating.

If they have a gender imbalance, this is one of the ways they correct it.

The correlation is that people on mumsnet seem to think most high earners are just fortunate. And yes some are. But many sacrifice things others would not do - such as this sort of commute, in the full knowledge that over half of the increase will go to the taxpayer. Yet - they are the bad guys somehow and need to pay even more to the rest of us

Cognitive dissonance

Interesting to see what Labour come up with in October. There will need to be a real think between raising taxes to raise revenue and disincentivising promotions/aspiration. There is definetely a tipping point where it isn't worth it and the current tax burden is very close to that....

Is it asset finance? If so, don’t touch it with a barge pole. They’re pretty much all enforcing minimum 3 days per week and at least one it’s straight to final warning if you drop below 60% in office in a 28 day period. Do it twice and it’s instant dismissal. Very long hours and no job security. Pay is good, but you’ll lose a massive amount in tax so it’s unlikely to make as much difference as you’re expecting (eg you won’t bring home twice what you’re getting now).

Thank you so much for your thoughts. I've enjoyed reading all the different views.

So tax wise, I'm actually in Scotland so hammered even more! I have done some rough sums and it would certainly give my pension quite a boost which would be a big incentive but yes Labour might scunner that. I wouldn't be assuming a big change in lifestyle - I'm quite sensible with money and would plan to squirrel most of it away.

I'd need to pay travel myself for the commute as would be my choice to take a job based 3-odd hours from my home. I think it would cost around £600-700 a month for trains and cheap hotel.

Yes it's quite niche and is a corporate finance/lendjng role. I don't do that type of work anymore; I've morphed into more of a project manager who can pick up a variety of things so career wise I would probably be narrowing my options a bit.

It does sound like my current set up for various reasons probably outweighs the benefits of the extra cash. And yes the whole woman vs man in the work-place is interesting. I never thought of being in a position of being singled out due to working less than the prescribed days in the office but that's definitely a risk.

DH thinks I should seriously consider it but I don't think he realises the mental load I carry. I worry less about the practicalities of travel and more about juggling it all.

To me this seems like quite a good reason to do it - would force your DH into carrying more mental load.

As the parent of two children I would actually really enjoy no family responsibilities for a day or two a week.. I would look to find something fun to do in the other city once a week etc

At the moment your in a job that you like, you WFH some days and you have a day a week to do certain things or catch up. This new job will require you to travel and stay over so your husband will have to do far more at home. What happens if you have a sick child then?
What's happens the evening both kids need to be in 2 different places say due to sport ect? What would happen during the school breaks or summer holidays?

Then your working x number of years in your current job which may be more secure than the new job. Are their job opportunities in your current company if you wanted to move up the ladder? If your company was to make redundancies in time you could be entitled to a decent redundancy package or even early retirement if you were close to retirement age.

Another thing to consider is could you be paid more in your current role?
Go to a few recruitment agencies in your local area and see what available for someone with your qualifications and experience. If you find out they are underpaying you it gives you a chance to put together a list of what you have achieved, targets met ect and have this ready for your salary chat. You may be able to get a better paying job locally if they are not willing to pay you more.

Your husband might think that this a great opportunity to get a lot more money. I know that if one person in a couple decides to do this it means the other person has to do more and has to be pared for unforeseen events. Then it could mean spending money on a cleaner, more ready meals, takeaways ect. Then have you extra support close by like your parents, his parents ect to help out the days you're not at home? I know a couple who did this but they had family support nearby when the kids were younger. Even when the kids were older her husband had some flexibility to leave work early when his wife was away.

You mentioned that the new job is somewhat similar to an area you worked in before. Would this job give you rare skills or work opportunities that would benefit you to get a similar high paying job close by after a year or two? I know people that move sideways work wise to get experience in a new role that benefits their career long term.

I would consider all of the above before taking a job like this. You need as well to be very honest with your husband about the mental load, the amount of additional work you've doing at home and with the kids to make everyone life easier.

Your current set up and salaries are working for your family but I know a bit more cash would help out now and long term. You both need to make plans to improve your salaries in the next few years but you both need a life at the same time that works for everyone.

Negotiate for 2-4 days every two weeks?

I did reply at first saying great opportunity but sounds like wrong time in your life.

On reflection, another perspective could be to take it for one or maximum two years and use it as a lever for another more attractive job (in terms of closer location or 100% wfh but higher salary). So many men especially think it’s normal to stay two years max in a role. Why don’t you try it? At the very worst you can fail upwards (like so many men do…)

Agree the ‘looking for women’ is a flag and would make me wonder about job security (ie when they no longer feel that is important). I’d use this to speak to your employer about a raise as it sounds like you may be underpaid. I also have friends who were told they could do less time in office in practice and now it’s 3 days min and they are looking for new roles as the commute is killing them.

It's nowhere near enough money for this level of disruption and risk.