Worth it to double my salary?

[Heatherbell1978]

I'm in a professional role earning £70k. Mid 40s, DH, 2 DC. Only ever worked for 2 large organisations (finance). My current role is great - lots of autonomy, nice team, nice manager and I can wfh most days. Work compressed hours so I have one day a week off. Good at what I do and the job is flexible around family needs.
An ex colleague has asked me if I'm interested in applying for a role in a different organisation. They're looking for more females to address the balance apparently. It's working in a field I used to do years ago and enjoyed but moved away from when DC entered the picture - quite stressful and travel involved.

Here's the thing. It would be double my current salary (including guaranteed bonus) but...based in a city a 3 hr train journey away.

I could negotiate 1 or 2 days a week in the office apparently although I'd need to fund travel myself. Officially they ask for 3 days in the office.
DH also has a relatively big job but can wfh a lot. DC 7 and 10.
It feels like the travel would wear me down after a while. Or not? Is it worth it? WWYD?

I'd go and interview / chat and try and get to the bottom of why they want more females etc - it might be that after an hour in their company you don't want it anyway.

If you do want it, I think I'd negotiate to have one week at home, and then one week in the office Mon-Wed. You could go Sunday night and leave the office Wed afternoon. For me, that additional time in the office would make the travel worth it but not doing it every week would stop it all feeling like an exhausting treadmill.

Also being away for 3 full days might make your husband realise how much of the mental load you do 😉

Is it double your salary after tax, etc? You'll lose your personal allowance so that's a consideration on top of the costs of travel and staying over.

No. Unless I could negotiate 2 days in the office, with them paying for 1 overnight hotel. Our company always pays all mileage, all overnight stays, evening meal and breakfast.

I'd work out what your comparative net pay would be, it is a big increase but you'll be paying a lot of tax on it.

How old are the children, will it impact on child benefit, funded hours etc?

How will it impact on childcare arrangements.

I wouldn’t think twice about it.

I would try and negotiate just doing 2 days after 6 months or something and I would stay overnight locally.

With the extra money, I would hire a cleaner and potentially babysitter/nanny to ease things at home when DH is alone with the kids.

Presumably you would still have to go through an interview process so I would do this and if offered the role start the negotiations then.

Having been in several differing roles, where I am in my life means that flexibility and lack of stress are priceless to me.

Think about how much you value your current setup... unless you are desperate for money. As a pp said, could you look into it in a few years time?

If I could get agreement to only two (consecutive) days in the office and stay over on the night between, then I probably would. More than one return commute a week, not so much.

No, it's not, when you do the maths. The huge amount of time away from her kids, the commute, the stress that will come with all of that. Money isn't everything.

It depends- would the additional money improve your quality of life (that's a very personal thing, everyone is different on what they want). If so, do it.
If you're going to make sacrifices you think you'll regret, don't do it

£140k and you could negotiate to 1 or 2 days in the office???

Hell yeah!!

(So long as you have someone who can help with child care, I'd work Mondays and Tuesdays in office and preferably stay over Monday night)

The thing about the early secondary school years is that there is no childcare. There's either a parent there or the kids are at home on their own. And they need a lot of support at that point so for me I would probably say no. Your current job is perfect for the family and also challenging for you. Whatever they say - you can't have it all

You're happy, life is ticking along nicely, 70k is still a lot of money to have balance in your life. Is another 70k worth upsetting all of it? What happens if you don't like it? Or for some reason the job is not secure? Whilst the money is tempting most of what you have said would be a firm no from me.

I've done this sort of trek for work (5 hours each way and a hotel) and it legitimately wore me out for a good day or two after. I'd probably suggest driving up on the wednesday, working Thursday and driving down same day, then using Friday (a week day) to recover, so you can enjoy the weekend.

If you drive up on the Sunday, you're wasting your free day, and you'll be too tired to actually work in the midweek days.

Is accommodation and travel included? (I'd imagine so).

Your take home would go from 51k to 85k, so not really 'double' due to tax.

Speaking as someone who has done this for five years... the freedom is nice from partner (and pets). You actually get an uninterrupted sleep. The food variety is nice (nearby restaurants), and you actually get excited working through menus and menu changes. Occasional drinks with colleagues at the office are fun. Audio book or music in the car on cruise control is a nice way to switch off.

Downside: wear and tear on car, isolation, exhaustion for a day or two (if you're not used to the drive), unplanned (I'd say typically 20% of the time) traffic...

What’s the package like ? Holiday, pension, health care benefits?
is It double once your tax comes off ?
Also can you pick your days, if so, Mondays , you’ll get 5 ish bank holidays a year
But honestly I wouldn’t take it ,time is way more precious than money

If they really want diversity, they pay hotel costs and travel costs (I know many senior-often males in similar negotiate this as a part of the deal). Otherwise, know the value of work life balance and run a mile. Negotiate a minimal in office time (contractually agreed) that works longer term, maybe more whilst you meet your colleagues?

Package is good. The bonus isn't a huge part of that extra so not end of world if that doesn't materialise. I wouldn't drive. It's a 3 hr train so longer in a car and I don't like motorway driving.
And yes appreciate the tax situation but I'd hammer loads into my pension to bring it down to under £100k.
I guess I can romanticise the travel a bit. Time away is always nice. I used to love work travel back in the day. Then kids came along and it's become more of a hassle. But we're out the other side of having really young kids now.
I would only be doing it for the money. It's not a move I'd make otherwise given my fairly cushty work situation. Not sure if I'm underpaid, probably am. I'm an expert in the role I do now and am relied upon but actual workload is light. This new role is in a different field but still quite niche. Over the years I've developed an ability to become an expert in things (like regulatory stuff) that I work on. I'm quite detailed (and probably have ND tendencies like hyper-focus).

We're comfortable now but not flashy. The money would definitely help with DS school fees (DS private, DD state) and pension etc but we're not struggling.

Someone mentioned job security and that would worry me. I feel like I have that now and was quite prepared to stay where I am until they throw me out the building in my 60s! I've had a carrot dangled though...

We all just work for the money 😀

I don't think one night away from home is too big a sacrifice for that salary level. At all. Though as someone else suggested, I'd prefer it to be midweek.

The bigger issue for me is the role, responsibility and culture. It's always a risk to make a move - better the devil you know and all that - but would you kick yourself in the future if you didn't at least give it a try? Only you can know that.

I had a similar opportunity about 18 months ago and I turned it down. Now the market in my field has slowed and it's unlikely I'll get that chance again. I wouldn't say I regret it, as such, but if I had my time again I think I'd grab it with both hands.

If they are having trouble recruiting women I would be very, very chary about asking for anything 'extra' in terms of WFH days. That's a sure fire way to get noticed for all the wrong reasons, confirm their confirmation bias that women are PITAs, and then get fired for not showing up enough, while senior managers sigh and say 'I wish we could make this work for women.'

This one's not a money decision, it's a culture decision.

No way would I let myself in for that commute unless I was unemployed and desperate. You'd be mad to leave your current job for this. The doubled salary won't be as great as it seems either bearing in mind you'll lose nearly half the increase in tax.

I guess I can romanticise the travel a bit. Time away is always nice. I used to love work travel back in the day. Then kids came along and it's become more of a hassle. But we're out the other side of having really young kids now.

IDK. I think at a certain point in the DCs' lives, the chance to read on a train and chill out in a basic but clean motel room once a week are still valuable and become worth the logistics.

Wouldn't be me. You've got a good thing going where you are.

Fully agree with this. Big cultural red flag and the fact (I assume) women either dont join or stay speaks volumes. I’m not saying don’t negotiate but don’t bank on being able to keep your in office hours low in the long term. Go in eyes wide open and accept you may have to eat the poison while they likely try and make some hires without wanting to do anything to actually change their culture or working practices to make themselves a more attractive employer.

For me, it’s not enough take home money to be worth the hassle if you are ok and happy now.

If you can definitely negotiate 1-2 days in the office. Absolutely.

You have a great set up at the mo. Personally I wouldn’t do it as it sounds like a lot more effort! I’d really miss the time. But I’m not that ambitious and unless the money would be for something I really wanted (holidays) and could immediately improve my life, I wouldn’t be interested.