Old, redundant and panicking/depressed

[PaperRhino]

I was made redundant in April from a fairly senior level job as the business was not doing well.

This came in the heels of a really difficult couple of years which involved a hostile divorce, resulting in me having to sell my home, plus losing over half of my pension and spending most of my savings defending myself against my ex’s ridiculous demands.

i got a bit of redundancy and didn’t job hunt for the first few weeks as I was so burned out and also busy looking for a flat and clearing out my house. Also the CEO and clients at my last job ruined my self confidence- I’d always been a high performer in supportive environments and was unable to cope with the constant micro management and put downs which made me question myself and feel incompetent..

Money is getting tight now though and I have just heard that I was unsuccessful in an interview for a job I’ve literally done before and could do standing on my head. This is the third time this has happened and I’m becoming increasingly panicky. (For this one a friend was on the interview panel and I still didn’t get it and I thought I’d done really well. It went to an internet candidate apparently but still feel utterly demoralised and hopeless).

I am 58 and think my age is against me as I work in comms which is quite a young profession. I’d happily do something else with a similar skill set but I don’t even get interviews for things that don’t match my CV

I am on JSA but they don’t offer any help apart from a tiny bit of money- I naively thought they would send you for interviews but that seems to be a thing of the past.

Last night I was seriously thinking of ending it all - all that stops me is I don’t want my 2 adult kids to feel abandoned, but I have an absolute terror of being old and poor, especially as I’ve worked all my life since being 22 and had everything I worked for taken off me by my horrible ex.

These last few years have been so hard and I feel like I’ve lost my future. Does anyone have any words of support or encouragement, or even advice? (Please don’t suggest freelancing though as I’m no good at hustling for work, doing accounts or discussing money!)

I feel really like I am on the scrap heap of life right now 😞

Poor you, that sounds so tough. Just to have got through all that requires strength so you’re definitely stronger than you think. Do you think you could just take any job just for the feeling of being useful until your confidence grows back a bit? Sending hugs

The job centre coach can refer you for specific help with your cv, courses etc - just ask. They refer you to online job sites these days but for "executive" level situations (which seems to be anyone with 5+ years experience and a degree) they tend not to pressure too much as they know recruitment takes time.

Perhaps ask locally about hospitality, bar work maybe as it is so different and can't be confused with your previous job

I really feel for you, do you have a support network and your own personal cheerleaders? Would it be possible to take a job that pays the bills until you figure out what's next?

Is there a ridiculous secret work dream you never got to do e.g. working on a cruise ship?

I'm older than you and still working in Comms so don't despair! I have found LinkedIn to be my most valuable resource. Make sure your profile is up to date and you have the Open to Work option switched on so that people can find you. With your experience I would have thought your network is pretty large and all it takes is one contact to see that you're available and things could change. I also wouldn't rule out freelance - you don't have to hustle for work but just letting people know that you are happy with short contracts can be useful. Recruiters can also sometimes help although I am finding that companies are increasingly doing their own recruitment - again via LinkedIn. Good Luck!

That sounds really tough. Could / would you think about freelance work or contracting?

Great advice from previous posters. Sorry to read about your ex and the effect of the divorce on your finances. You have loads of good experience and you are tough and determined. You have got this OP.

Good advice already here. While you are 58, you're only 58. I'd love to be that young. Just think, you've been through a lot but are out the other side without that loser weighing you down. Even if you had kept your pension you'd probably be keeping him too. You may even have spent your latter years being his nurse. Try getting out and about, do things that you enjoy to get the spring back in your step. Let people know you are available. Enjoy your freedom. One day at a time.

Do you edit your CV and tailor it to match the job description of the role you are going for, or just send in the same one?
I have a master copy of mine saved and say a customer facing role is the one I am applying for then I play up that bit on my cv.

I don’t know - to not get a job I’ve literally done before which was a lower grade than I left on, when my friend was on the hiring panel, has ruined my confidence. That and my hyper critical ex boss Hence why I can’t freelance (I don’t believe in myself enough to “sell” myself over and over).

I have got through an absolute storm of shit in the last few years- am amazed I’m still standing- but I am losing resilience as time goes on and the horrors persist (also had a near fatal car crash, leaking roof and wall falling down the week before I put my house on the market when my ex was threatening to get me evicted and take over the sale, broken shoulder - it goes on and on!)

Thanks for all the advice. Really appreciate the responses - I feel so alone and ashamed. I will look at LinkedIn but ridiculously am embarrassed I’ve not got a job yet and don’t want my ex boss / ex colleagues aeeing me and either laughing openly or doing the covert gossip thing by telling everyone what a shame it is for me. I know I shouldn’t care but I do …

I wonder if you need to rethink your CV and have broader-sounding versions for jobs that don't closely match your previous role. If it's not a comms role, show previous job titles as 'Manager' rather than 'Communications Manager' for example, and emphasise the skills relevant to the role you're applying for.

If you haven't already, remove any obvious pointers to your exact age, such as the year you gained qualifications. You've probably already done this, but put the education section last on your CV. If there's a particular qualification you need to emphasise because it's a role requirement, reference it in your short general profile section at the top.

@Sethera i have a skills based CV (several versions) followed by a job/experience section with no dates. But you can tell I’m old from the amount of experience I have. And also my face hahaha if I get to interview. I don’t look bad for my age but I definitely wouldn’t pass for 40s!

Ageism makes no sense though. I was a more challenging employee in my 30s as had to work part time cos of the kids and needed to take time working from home when they were ill and before working from home was a thing. They are 21 and 24 now and I’m divorced so more flexible than I’ve ever been 🤷‍♀️

Totally agree with you about ageism. It's not even all about your life circumstances when younger - the older you get, the better you are at handling all kinds of situations in the workplace. That's not intended to disparage younger workers - it's a fact that experience isn't something you can teach in a training course.

How many pages is your CV, out of interest?

Just two! I do 5 “skills “ based short paragraphs according to the job description then list employment up to 2001 and add an “other experience “ for me 3 jobs in the arts from 1990 to 2000. Education and training is listed on last third of page 2.

Trying to diagnose what could be stopping you getting more interviews. Do you think you might be going back too far by listing everything since 2001? My employment history goes back to 1996 but I only cover specific roles over the last 10 years. My theory is that experience before that date isn't going to be of much interest. I wonder if you should move more into your general 'other experience' section.

I took redundancy and intentionally rebranded myself as a freelancer on linked In. I don’t want another permanent job. But even if you do (and totally understand why) you might well be surprised if you put about that you are available. All my work has come from contacts but it does sometimes pop up in surprising places! All the very best just remember what great skills you have and they are marketable!

I got made redundant April 2020 after 16 years in the company and at the age of 63. It did take a while to find a job as for the first six months there was pretty much a hiring freeze. During my search I had two instances of obvious age discrimination, but otherwise I didn’t feel it was a consideration. I was successful in securing a suitable role before the end of the year and last summer moved on again and have since been promoted in my new company. 58 shouldn’t be a problem if your skills are up to date and you have the right attitude.

You’ve come through so much - I would echo PP saying use linked in as much as possible and honestly do not think about your ex colleagues - you don’t even have to be connected to them on Linked in.

I would also remove work experience from say pre 2000 unless absolutely relevant and free up space to emphasise other skills. Please keep us updated on your search.

I was in a similar position a while back, although completely different industry. Being rejected for jobs that are easier than what you have been doing, part time and so on it erodes your confidence.
Looking back I think a lot of is luck, many of the jobs I interviewed for went to internal candidates. I also got better at applying for jobs and interviewing, it's a skill I needed to practice at. So painful though.
DH also took 4-5 months to secure a new job and he has historically always moved jobs very easily it's tough out there.

I don't have a job to offer you but I'd prefer a 58 year old with work and life experience to a graduate (the last person I employed was over 50). I think the right person in their 50s is likely to be a more stable employee (and there's a reasonable chance of them staying until retirement). Hopefully the internet and personal contacts will give you the right opportunity.

It's quite common to get turned down for more junior roles. I had it just happen to me last week, feedback was that I had given examples from more senior roles whereas another candidate hadn't ( I applied because I'm going for anything I can get in this terrible jobs market and I'm unemployed and it was z fixed term contract to cover mat leave).

It's shite out there at the moment and I'm not surprised you are feeling despondent.
Try not to take job rejection too personally. It's a fucking awful market, rather than age. 5 years ago you'd have likely found something by now.

Hi Op just wanted to say keep your chin up. It’s really tough in the job market. I know I am going to be made redundant soon and have been applying for other jobs. I got turned down for one last week which is basically what I am doing at the min, more hours, lower pay tho. Apparently I’m too experienced and the job has gone to someone with no experience who they can mould into the role. Previous to that I was turned down due to being too experienced also. To say it has knocked my confidence is an understatement. But I’m trying to keep positive. It’s so hard to even get an interview these days.

It's so ironic, when I was starting out in work many a time I got turned down for lack of experience. Yet now, experience is a bad thing for some employers.

Why didn't anyone want to 'mould me into a role ' all those years ago?

I was made redundant at 50 and completely lost confidence too. I also got turned down for more junior roles and the feedback related to the examples I'd given in response to the questions. I'd done a fairly unusual job so it was difficult to find anything in my area.

I signed up as a temp. I had two main contracts and got offered jobs at both, and took the second one. I don't think it's a job I would have got had I just applied cold. Being a temp was a great confidence boost. If you're reasonably confident everyone thinks you're wonderful! Word gets around and sometimes you can apply for jobs that have been advertised internally only.

If you have any large employers in your locality, try and find out who they use for temporary staff. Some, like the NHS, have their own inhouse.

Yep, no specific advice but keep trying. The job market is awful at the minute - DH’s agency went into administration last September and he’s been unemployed since then. Fucking idiot didn’t start looking for a job until March because he had plenty of savings and has always walked into senior jobs in the past, but he’s had no luck this time around - not many jobs coming up, not getting interviews for jobs in adjacent areas, made it through to third round a couple of times but no offers.

He works in brand strategy, so adjacent field to yours. Freelance work has also dried up - instead of paying £500 a day like they did in 2022 (and 2010 for that matter), they are just advertising 3 month temporary in-house contracts, at £50k per year pro rata. Which is the lowest these roles have been paid for 20 years. The bottom has just totally dropped out of the market, at the same time as a load of junior people who did boot camps during lockdown are flooding in.

I also want to say try temping. It can be brilliant fun and less stress, and it feels like you need a boost right now. Good luck.