Was this an unreasonable request at work?

[user1471867483]

At work, in our office, we have been without a cleaner for a few days. She was due to come back today (she did turn up later), but in the meantime, four bins in our office were overflowing with rubbish. A male worker in the office, who isn't my boss, somehow managed to obtain a big bin liner and said to me, "Gis a bit of help with the rubbish will you"? I said I wasn't touching it, in which he replied, "But it's your rubbish too. Don't you do the rubbish at home"? I replied that of course I do, but I'm not at home now, plus I don't get paid any extra for doing that here".
It was him who wanted to rubbish bins collected in the first place. They weren't smelling and I was happy to wait for our cleaner (who turned up anyway).

He asked yoh to help him ...nothing wrong with that. Why so arsy?

I don't think it's unreasonable to help out once in a while, in the circumstances of a missing cleaner. If he singled you out as a woman in a group, it would be unreasonable, but if you just happened to be there as he was doing it, that seems fine. It's not really different from putting your cup in the dishwasher, or washing it up if the dishwasher doesn't exist.

Although I might have refused, because I still haven't worked out how to open the touch-sensitive bin lid, and I'm too embarrassed to ask... Fortunately, I create very little rubbish.

The woman who's husband yelled at kids for playing with chalk should take a leaf out of your book

When I was in the office before covid we had to help clear the fridge out on a rota basis around the entire unit so that the cleaners could clean it. It wasn't a job I liked, but it had to be done

Jobsworth! I've emptied bins, mopped floors etc in my time .... its called 'teamwork'.

I hope I never have the misfortune to come across you at work, what a load of absolute tosh about tipping a bin into a bin bag

I bet you're a right bundle of joy to work with

Completely reasonable request and your response was rude. Doesn't everyone pitch in to make their workplace a bit better when needed?

I think it's great that you've reflected and taken on board feedback OP.

My DH works for a facilities mgmt company and tells stories of calls he's dealt with and I'm always a bit 'huh' about how unwilling people are to just sort stuff out. He has people calling for urgent jobs to be logged to move an empty plastic storage box the size of an A4 folder from one part of a building to another and then complaining about how long it's taking. Just pick up the goddamn box and take it where it needs to be!

I wonder what your colleague is thinking of you now.

I disagree it was an ok request.
If it was that much of an issue for him, he should have emptied the bins himself. After all, I’m sure he is doing that at home too!!

And tbh the issue I have is that he is man asking a woman to empty the bins.
Ive seen similar behaviours many times at work. Same than turning round towards the woman to prepare tea for everyone at a meeting.
Its misogynistic.

I think a lot of people just like kicking the OP but also, they don't see the bigger picture.
If it's a family business ,great conditions, with a regular local cleaner having a hard time, OP happened to be standing nearby, yeah maybe she was a bit arsey.

However like you said, companies also love pushing more and more onto their staff. And some people love ordering others around, choosing the most compliant looking, usually a woman.

The guy didn't even ask nicely, this isn't some urgent situation where she NEEDS to help. He could've just asked someone else or even a group of people instead of picking on one person. To do something completely unnecessary. Who is he to order her around?

Oh and also r.e contributing to the rubbish personally I create zero waste at work. But also, if I see a full bin, I'm capable of taking my trash home to throw, instead of chucking more and more on top. Clearly nobody else in the office gives a shit about cleanliness except for Mr Cleaning Up so why bother.

@user1471867483 some of us are reasonable come back to the thread 🤣

I'd have helped - though like others I'd have refused if I was asked to do it solely because I was a woman. We don't have any cleaning at weekends and occasionally work weekends with shifts operating 24/7. I have been known to both collect rubbish myself (and carry it through the building to the outside bins) and to ask others to do so too. I've not taken kindly to people who create mess but refuse to help clean it up.

I dont think people get it unless they've been on the received end.
Or maybe cos it's AIBU people just like kicking OP. Who knows.

Oh and also personally I do loads to keep things running, including helping colleagues etc. if they wanna get arsey about refusing to clear the bins well then they can stop accepting my help on other things that are also technically not my job. I'm confident enough in my teamwork, value to the organisation blah blah blah. I don't need to empty bins to prove that.

My husband is a company director. He's had to take the office rubbish out on occasion.

He's spent time on the shop floor too.

A job that needs doing is a job that needs doing 🤷🏻‍♀️

All these people crying "misogynist!" - I didn't see anything in the OP's post that implied that she was only asked to help because she was female. Sounds like she was just the nearest person.

Absolutely, bet people will still pile on though.

Well in this case, the job didn't need doing at all. A random co-worker just decided it needed to be done. On the exact day the cleaner was due to turn up anyway.
While nobody else did anything for 4 days. And kept piling on the rubbish until the bins overflowed.

Different from a situation where bins need taking out as part of the job, it's regular activity or a specific activity creating lots of rubbish needing it emptied sooner than usual.

Maybe OP would have clarified, except that she got piled on unanimously?

Also, everyone is acting like helping with the rubbish is a quick 5 second job. Like you know mopping up a spill, or moving a couple of empty boxes. Or @EBearhug putting your dishes away in the dishwasher.

It's not!

The bins were overflowing - so the rubbish was very likely to spill out, either onto the OP or the floor. Which she'd have to clean. The bin bag (that colleague had mysteriously gotten from somewhere) might develop a hole if overfilled, especially if people had thrown away sharp edged cans or glass, leading to rubbish strewn all over. So she'd need to find a mop, cleaning materials, pick /sweep it all back up.

Hardly 5 seconds and again, the key here, unnecessary. They had already been left days and were going to be sorted that day.

That just happened to be a woman…

Come on, if it had been a woman thinking the bins needed emptying , do you think she’d have asked the nearest colleague who ‘happened’ to be a man to empty them? Nope, she’d have got on with it. Or made a general call for everyone to empty their bin in the bin bag.

But just by chance, it so happens he stopped next to her desk, not another make colleague, and asked the nearest person for ‘help’.

It might be unconscious, but it is certainly rooted in that expectation that ‘women clean, not men’

Why does it need two people to empty a bin. He could've just got on with it without making a big show.

well, exactly. Either it is as effortless as some are insisting, in which case, if he cared, he could have just done it and not needed help. Or else, it takes a little trouble to do it, in which case why not let the person whose job it is do it. This is one of those mystery tasks that is effortless when you are chivvying a woman to get off her arse, but terribly difficult and needing of support if you expect a man to do it on his own.

Ooooo apologies wrong thread.

Well the OP hasn't said which bins they were.

If they were big bins where people had kept ramming rubbish in and were overflowing and jammed up so they needed someone to hold a bin bag open so the excess rubbish could be put in, that's what it sounds like the OP was asked to do.

Or there were too many bins to be carried to the outside bin in one trip and there's a self closing door to deal with so if he'd done it all by himself he'd have been backwards and forwards for ages.

That's based on how it would end up if our office cleaner was off for a few days.

Thanks all for your replies. I really do appreciate them. Some I agree with and others I don't of course - that's my prerogative. I did have a niggling doubt about that I didn't help him, hence my posting my question. I still stick by what I said, especially, yes, that there were other men he could've asked. 😉