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Original poster

How would you take this?

56 replies

Witchinthewest · 27/05/2024 22:16

If someone at work, I a senior-ish role to you were doing the following...

Keeps looking at you, staring almost as though he can't take his eyes off you
Always stops to chat when in the office
Checks that you are OK regularly
Fist bumps you regularly
Regularly and subtley invades personal space (in a non creepy way).
Light pretend punches on your upper arm
He looks/ glances at you when in conversation with others
Always complimenting your work
Says things like 'I always have time for you' and 'I really look forward to the days you are in the office'
Always has your back on work related stuff.
Keeps saying you can go to him if you need to vent about anything

...how would you take that....?

OP posts:
Hermanfromguesswho · 27/05/2024 22:17

As pretty creepy tbh

Fatotter · 27/05/2024 22:19

What do you think when you read your post?

Original poster
Witchinthewest · 27/05/2024 22:22

I know what I think. But I'm looking for validation of my thoughts. Hence my post.

OP posts:
Tel12 · 27/05/2024 22:26

Well if think that they liked me and I'm doing a brilliant job. Not sure about the space invasion though.

Wayk · 27/05/2024 22:30

He fancies you. Is he single?

livelovelough24 · 27/05/2024 22:37

OMG Op, this post is like I wrote it. I have exactly the same thing happening at work, exactly. This person is retired but is coming to work occasionally. So he is not my boss or anything. I thought as a feminist at this day and age I would be able to deal with this easily, but for some reason it is hard. What I did is try to avoid him as much as possible, also trying to discourage him by using body language and it seems to work, kind of. I am sorry this is happening to you. 😩

Original poster
Witchinthewest · 27/05/2024 22:37

Wayk · 27/05/2024 22:30

He fancies you. Is he single?

Yes he is.
Is the fist bump not a friend thing?

OP posts:
HowDoTheyManageAtAll · 27/05/2024 22:39

He fancies you. It's not difficult to work out.

Original poster
Witchinthewest · 27/05/2024 22:41

livelovelough24 · 27/05/2024 22:37

OMG Op, this post is like I wrote it. I have exactly the same thing happening at work, exactly. This person is retired but is coming to work occasionally. So he is not my boss or anything. I thought as a feminist at this day and age I would be able to deal with this easily, but for some reason it is hard. What I did is try to avoid him as much as possible, also trying to discourage him by using body language and it seems to work, kind of. I am sorry this is happening to you. 😩

Can you share the link to your post? I'd be keen to read...

OP posts:
bomi · 27/05/2024 22:44

He fancies you

Original poster
Witchinthewest · 27/05/2024 23:11

Are fist bumps not a friendly thing?

OP posts:
livelovelough24 · 27/05/2024 23:11

@Witchinthewest No I never posted anything, but it is exactly the same type of behaviour. 😩

Original poster
Witchinthewest · 27/05/2024 23:13

livelovelough24 · 27/05/2024 23:11

@Witchinthewest No I never posted anything, but it is exactly the same type of behaviour. 😩

Ah OK! Thank you for your advice. It's difficult. All behaviour which goes under the radar.

OP posts:
livelovelough24 · 27/05/2024 23:16

Yes, he is definitely flirting with you and ideally you should talk to him or your HR, but it is hard, I know, I have not done it. Not yet.

livelovelough24 · 27/05/2024 23:20

This person would also touch me, like use any opportunity to touch me, innocently of course, but still. At some point, he started looking for opportunities to give me a peck on a cheek and stuff 😩. Like when we meet, which is not at all common where I live, except with friends. This is when I started avoiding him. When I meet him I try to put something between me and him, like literally, hold a coffee mug close to my body, sit on the other side of the table or something, also not to turn to him face to face, but sideways. Kissing and touching stopped. Not sure how, but he seem to have gotten the message.

Icehockeyflowers · 27/05/2024 23:26

How long has this been going on for OP?
How difficult and awkward to deal with this when the man is in a senior position. He's being completely inappropriate and it is very unprofessional.. You could try talking loudly about the great weekend you just spent going to X with your boyfriend. Every single time, he says something to you, bring your boyfriend's name into the conversation. If you feel very uncomfortable, you probably need to bring this to HR. He is their problem to sort out.

Original poster
Witchinthewest · 27/05/2024 23:56

Icehockeyflowers · 27/05/2024 23:26

How long has this been going on for OP?
How difficult and awkward to deal with this when the man is in a senior position. He's being completely inappropriate and it is very unprofessional.. You could try talking loudly about the great weekend you just spent going to X with your boyfriend. Every single time, he says something to you, bring your boyfriend's name into the conversation. If you feel very uncomfortable, you probably need to bring this to HR. He is their problem to sort out.

About 8/10 months, was very subtle things at first so I dismissed things, but it has escalated over this time.

OP posts:
Fatotter · 28/05/2024 06:47

Witchinthewest · 27/05/2024 22:22

I know what I think. But I'm looking for validation of my thoughts. Hence my post.

When I read your post it was obvious to me. However, in your post you seem to excuse him a great deal so that is why I asked.

BlackEyesLikeADollsEyes · 28/05/2024 07:12

I would keep my distance here. This is Simone who is either totally oblivious to how to behave properly or just doesn't care to. Both are dangerous in a work scenario.

bows101 · 28/05/2024 07:31

I had this and was totally creeped out by it. He would obviously stare at me but with a blank expression for ages, not in a friendly-smiley way. At a team day, as there were presentations he was just staring at me and I asked my colleague if she saw it too and she was shocked. We weren't overly in a close working position to chat but I don't doubt he would have if given the chance. I left the company and a few months later heard he had killed himself. I felt guilty now, I would have never guessed he was depressed and maybe needed a friend. He was a 'mental health first aider' to the company and would support others and all tributes say what a lovely supportive man he was. This has taught me not to have assumptions of a 'creepy man'

Original poster
Witchinthewest · 28/05/2024 07:39

I suppose I'm checking it couldn't be seen as friendly behaviour before I bring it up with him.

OP posts:
BingoMarieHeeler · 28/05/2024 07:41

‘Lightly punches you on the arm’ 🤢 soooo cringe. Major turn off.

Scarletttulips · 28/05/2024 07:44

Depends if you want that type of attention!!

MuggleMe · 28/05/2024 07:44

It potentially 'could' be seen as innocent/friendly. But you're uncomfortable, it's entirely unnecessary, and as a senior, he should have more self awareness, accept the feedback and adjust his behaviour.

Original poster
Witchinthewest · 28/05/2024 07:52

BlackEyesLikeADollsEyes · 28/05/2024 07:12

I would keep my distance here. This is Simone who is either totally oblivious to how to behave properly or just doesn't care to. Both are dangerous in a work scenario.

Simone?

OP posts: