Unsettling comment from colleague

[Isityourorme]

So the other day, on a light hearted tone I said that I felt that I had known people on the team in years, when in fact I've only joined recently. Most people I've met are friendly and supportive, and quite chatty. I feel like I fit right in. But then this one colleague said, if you're still standing you don't know me. As I was about to leave the building, and before I could reply another colleague said have a nice long weekend, so I just overlooked her comment. But I found that comment quite unsettling and, quite frankly threatening. I don't if I'm overreacting or if I should keep my distances with this colleague. Any thoughts?

She sounds like a garden variety idiot. Avoid unless it's work related.

Any comments from those that voted NO?

But then this one colleague said, if you're still standing you don't know me.

What did you take from this comment, OP? Sounds like you experienced this a veiled threat?

Power games - she wants you to be intimidated by her. And she's told you, so now you know to watch your back.

I don't understand the comment - am I being dim? Are you sure you didn't mishear?

Are they someone who always works extra hours and they're implying you should be staying later? That feels like a stretch but it's the only thing I can think of that make some sort of sense!

Absolutely, it's not something I'd ever say to someone, even if for whatever reason I don't like them

It sounds like she was trying to assert her dominance and she thinks she’s above you. It’s actually very embarrassing and wannabe to say something like that as an adult, particularly in a workplace. I would have laughed at her but yes, keep a low key distance from her. Weird woman.

I think it's most likely a shit joke tbh.

Or she felt you were being over familiar for a new joiner, and so wanted to put you back in your box with a shit joke.

Not a big deal at all IMO unless further incidents develop.

I took it as a threat, as in if you're still here then you don't know me, i.e. if you knew my true colours you'd be gone

OP, you didn’t say if your colleague is a male or female. I’m noticing posters think female.

OP said the colleague is female.

Tbh I would interpret it much less charitably from a man. Perhaps my own bias rooted in data.

Ahh yeah I was being dim, sorry!

How are they with you usually? If they're usually friendly/jokey I'd take it as a bad joke, but if they're generally standoffish and serious I'd be wary of them in future!

I once worked with a woman who had this taped to her PC screen. I just looked at it and thought 'tosser.' Your colleague sounds the same sort of person - enjoys throwing her weight around and being queen bee and bossing people. Like I said now you're warned.

I would think they were either making a joke that didn't land or a bit of a chav and then wouldnt give it another thought. I certainly wouldnt feel threatened

I’m booking my eye test now 😂.

Yep, I’ve re-read and I see now.

I thought she was referring to team nights out.

I don't even understand the comment. Could it have been a joke gone wrong?

I'd give them a wide berth for a while and see if either they or a colleague mention it again.

How did the other colleagues react? That could be telling

I guess it could be to do with nights out. I’ve certainly worked with colleagues before who pride themselves on getting the team wasted - “you’ll be on the floor after a night out with me!”. Personally, I’m not a fan of those types of colleagues anyway.

If the colleague did mean this, the timing was poor. OP was talking about feeling really great in the team and the colleague thought it was appropriate to insert ‘you wouldn’t be standing if you knew me’. Maybe the colleague cringed after she said it as it came out wrong, or as others have suggested, maybe she wanted to cause discomfort.

I’d just think she’s a bit of a twat. Do the other colleagues seem to get on with her? There’s normally one in every workplace that is a nob who others barely tolerate. It’s likely her

Ex military, Scottish etc etc but I'd def take that as a threat.... As in don't cross her, and definately don't go drinking with her 😳

She sounds very self absorbed !

I don't really understand it either.

I mean, I get how you've interpreted it, but it still doesn't make much sense, does it?

Still standing - I'd take 'not still standing' to mean collapsed - either exhausted or drunk - or to be a threat to hit someone and knock them down. I'm absolutely sure it wasn't the second, I'm not suggesting it was, largely because it makes no sense at all in context! But neither does the other, I just don't get what she was trying to say at all.

I would interpret that as meaning that she takes pride in being a big drinker and means that if you’d known her years then you’d have been out with her and not be able to stand up due to excessive alcohol.

I think she meant wait til we go out and then you’ll really know me

It could be alcohol, if she'd laughed when she said it. If she said it bluntly I'd see it as more of a physical type of comment as in back in the playground, I'm hard as nails blah blah