Unsettling comment from colleague

[Isityourorme]

So the other day, on a light hearted tone I said that I felt that I had known people on the team in years, when in fact I've only joined recently. Most people I've met are friendly and supportive, and quite chatty. I feel like I fit right in. But then this one colleague said, if you're still standing you don't know me. As I was about to leave the building, and before I could reply another colleague said have a nice long weekend, so I just overlooked her comment. But I found that comment quite unsettling and, quite frankly threatening. I don't if I'm overreacting or if I should keep my distances with this colleague. Any thoughts?

Meh.

Your colleague is gate-keeping the sense of belonging to the team.

She's saying "Who does Isityouorme think she is, 'claiming' feeling like she fits in even though she's only been here five minutes!? She doesn't get to decide if she fits in ‐I do!"

She thinks you've assumed a position in the team before it's been granted, like you've got your legs under the table a bit too comfortably, a bit too soon, a bit too self-satisfied, and she's trying to unsettle you a bit. Not threaten you, just let you know that she thinks you've overstepped some weird boundary she's drawn, herself being a sort of self-appointed inclusion police.

I've worked with idiots like this my whole working life in so many different circumstances. They're all pathetic.

Given she's heading off on a long weekend, perhaps she meant it in a social context.

As in 'you'll be fully inducted once we've been on a night out. And good luck still being able to stand by the end of it".

If you've mentally clocked off I can see how this might come out slightly mangled. I've known a lot of people take great pride in being the last person standing on nights out and to see that joining them in it is some kind of rite of passage.

Would it make sense in this context?

I didn’t really understand the comment either .

i thought it sounded drink related ..

however - I have worked in many places where people don’t like new people .

it disturbs the group dynamics .. she could be one of these.

what did you think of her prior to this comment ?

if she said it to me I would genuinely be what ???🤷‍♂️

I don't really get the comment either. Is it a well known phrase? Regional, maybe?

If not, she's maybe just worded something very clumsily.

It's just a bit daft, as it reflects badly on her.

"You wouldn't be here if you knew how much of a horrible prick I am"

Strange

It's a comment that I would find hard to understand too, how was her tone when making the comment? And the reaction from other staff present?

I maybe bring too charitable here but could she mean that she's had really hard life experiences that you don't know about ( so she thinks you don't really know her). And if you did know you would be shocked/floored.

I'd be tempted to give her a wide birth until I've sussed her out a bit more!

Why have you taken offence at that? It sounds like one of thise self depreciating comments ... not directed toward you. A flippant silly remark

I don’t understand how this can be interpreted as someone throwing their weight around and being queen bee. It’s a joke about someone being a bit mischievous or naughty, a bit like the one which says something along the lines of when I’m old I don’t want people thinking I’m sweet I want them thinking ‘oh fuck what’s she doing now?’.

But I also think the person in the OP was referring to alcohol / nights out because it doesn’t make sense that as a threat. I probably would have asked for clarification though, if not at the time, afterwards.

I'd think she's a bit odd, and I'd be calling her Elton John and humming to myself when ever I saw her. 🎵🎵

I'd have struggled to keep a straight face tbh. What a nob.

In Scotland it def doesn't mean naughty or mischievous, it's a physical threat.

No it’s not. In Scotland it depends on context and can also relate to drinking.

Wonder if this is a known problem colleague and the 'have a nice long weekend' comment was a deflective one to avoid a confrontation. There is usually one in the team who wants to make sure the newbie knows their place.

I would let it go for now but just keep in mind point forward.

Yes I've already stated that up the thread. My point was it's not mischievous or naughty....