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Original poster

Handing in notice today, don't want to work the 4 weeks , please advise

40 replies

Excitingtimes736 · 09/04/2024 10:36

Hi guys
I've been at my place of work for 6 months. Its not working out and I want to leave.
The job isnt what i thought it would be, and i am being micromanaged which i dont like.
Also ,my mind is not 100% on the job which is not fair on them as my husband has been diagnosed with psychotic depression, I am classed as his carer, we have a lot going on and I'm very reluctant leaving him at home every day. My manager is aware of this .I am extremely stressed and full of worry all the time. I have to attend multiple appointments with him etc and he shouldn't really be left on his own.
So I have decided to hand my notice in today as I need to be at home at the moment. My notice period is 4 weeks and I don't think I will have annual leave i can use due to it being the start of the new tax year. I really need to be at home with him and really can't go into work for the next 4 weeks .
Any ideas how I can get round this? I am very stressed so could get the doctor to sign me off sick, but it's not me whose sick it's my husband, but worried that may affect new jobs. Is there any other option to leave early unpaid due to caring responsibilities?

OP posts:
Illpickthatup · 09/04/2024 10:37

Get your doctor to sign you off for stress.

Churchview · 09/04/2024 10:41

Can you just tell your manager in no uncertain terms what your situation is and say you would like to leave today. If they say no, then getting signed off is the answer. You say you aren't sick, but you do sound understandably sick with the stress of everything. Hope all works out ok for you and DH.

Original poster
Excitingtimes736 · 09/04/2024 10:44

I'd rather not go off sick as that affects my sickness record if/when my new employer asks about it in a reference

OP posts:
DistinguishedSocialCommentator · 09/04/2024 10:49

You dont want to sign off sick, i get it

what will you tell the next prospective employeer when they ask why you left.
Based on what you saidm them make wrongly assume you do not fit in easily or accept orders etc. I know its right but it is how some will feel

I've always said to people that worked with me and one was typing up aresignation letter at work and said they were leaveing - i said if you do, its easier to get work when you are still in work - she stayed for the notice period and ended up being offered two other jobs

your choice

Illpickthatup · 09/04/2024 12:54

Excitingtimes736 · 09/04/2024 10:44

I'd rather not go off sick as that affects my sickness record if/when my new employer asks about it in a reference

Not working your notice for no reason also won't look good. Just explain the situation if it arises. I was off work at my last company for 3 months with stress. Didn't even come up when I joined my current company.

SillyBiscuits · 09/04/2024 19:52

I think it would be highly unusual for your new employer to ask your old employer specifically about your sick leave record. Legally, I don’t think your old employer can give you a negative reference, they would just decline to give reference at all?

Besides, being off sick with understandable stress looks much better than disappearing like a fart in the wind.

Illpickthatup · 10/04/2024 07:52

SillyBiscuits · 09/04/2024 19:52

I think it would be highly unusual for your new employer to ask your old employer specifically about your sick leave record. Legally, I don’t think your old employer can give you a negative reference, they would just decline to give reference at all?

Besides, being off sick with understandable stress looks much better than disappearing like a fart in the wind.

Anywhere I've worked, the only information they can ask your previous employer is your job title while you were there and length of service.

oObyeOo · 10/04/2024 07:55

What’s more important? Being there for dh no mw or worrying what a future employer might take in to consideration?

twitternotx · 10/04/2024 07:56

Illpickthatup · 09/04/2024 10:37

Get your doctor to sign you off for stress.

we don't hand out sick notes on demand, and it's a terrible start to a new job to disclose 4w off with 'stress'

DreadPirateRobots · 10/04/2024 07:58

Can't you just... talk to your manager, explain the situation, and ask if you can leave with immediate effect, or at least after spending a day or two tidying up and handing over as best you can?

Given that your notice period is only one month anyway rather than three, there's very little win for a manager in compelling your attendance during this time when you're going to be badly stressed and distracted anyway. Try actually talking to them like a human.

ememem84 · 10/04/2024 07:59

twitternotx · 10/04/2024 07:56

we don't hand out sick notes on demand, and it's a terrible start to a new job to disclose 4w off with 'stress'

Show quote history

True but I’m sure I’d the op went to her gp explained the situation with her DH said she was struggling etc the dr would suggest signing off.

re not working notice. Could you explain the situation to hr your manager and ask for garden leave?

MoodyMargaret11 · 10/04/2024 07:59

You say he can't be left on his own at all, yet you'd be looking for a new job. How would that work?
If you don't want to work your notice you really don't have many choices - you can ask your boss for unpaid leave and if they say no, then either you work the notice or get signed off. That's all you can do.

DreadPirateRobots · 10/04/2024 07:59

Legally, I don’t think your old employer can give you a negative reference, they would just decline to give reference at all?

Wrong. They can give any reference they like as long as they can justify it. Sick time taken is a fact, and many references do ask for and/or provide it.

NealBrose · 10/04/2024 08:03

Depending on where you work, you may be entitled to unpaid carer's leave. We can take up to 12 weeks where I work. Is there an HR department you can check with?

PickledPurplePickle · 10/04/2024 08:04

Speak to your manager and explain

Fannyfiggs · 10/04/2024 08:05

twitternotx · 10/04/2024 07:56

we don't hand out sick notes on demand, and it's a terrible start to a new job to disclose 4w off with 'stress'

Show quote history

Are you a GP's receptionist?

If OP is stressed and asks for help, the GP should do everything in their power to help her. If that means a sick line then so be it.

Plus, it's not a 'terrible' start to a new job. OP does not need to disclose it.

Illpickthatup · 10/04/2024 08:05

twitternotx · 10/04/2024 07:56

we don't hand out sick notes on demand, and it's a terrible start to a new job to disclose 4w off with 'stress'

Show quote history

But she does sound like she's stressed. It's not like she's faking it because she doesn't want to work her notice. If her new employer asks about it she can explain the situation, and given her current circumstances I can't see anyone blaming her for being stressed.

Twiglets1 · 10/04/2024 08:08

I was off with stress during my last month at work ( doctors note) and it never came up when I applied for ( and got) another job a few months later.

If you are stressed then you can’t help but be stressed and in most cases it’s a temporary situation that does resolve itself in time. I found my doctor sympathetic as almost all would be.

Jk987 · 10/04/2024 08:09

What will you do for money if you quit? Better to go off sick with stress and then see how you feel after that.

Anameisaname · 10/04/2024 08:11

Just ask for PILON or offer to shorten notice period without pay.
Many employers will.be happy to do this once you've handed over your role. They can then get on recruiting backfill

almostspring2024 · 10/04/2024 08:12

When in a situation sort of similar ( although it was needing to support elderly parents following a sudden , traumatic death of a family member) I discussed with my GP and was found not to be well enough for work as I really wasn't and given a fit note. It had no repercussions on future employment although was mentioned in a reference. I just honestly explained what had happened when asked. Please just don't turn up, phone in sick for five working days and in the meantime speak with your GP.

ByUmberViewer · 10/04/2024 08:15

Just had a thought - are you still on probation? Are your notice terms different on probation = sometimes it's only a weeks notice thats required.

Other than that, Just explain to your manager (and this really needs to be done in a face to face conversation even if you've got social anxiety/don't like talking/are on the spectrum/are depressed) that you won't be able to work your notice.

when you get a new job just put down your leaving day as the actual day you left and that will be ok. No need to mention the notice period.

Mummame2222 · 10/04/2024 08:15

twitternotx · 10/04/2024 07:56

we don't hand out sick notes on demand, and it's a terrible start to a new job to disclose 4w off with 'stress'

Show quote history

Haha have you not seen the circumstances 🙄 Ofc she would be able to get signed off sick, poor woman!!

@Excitingtimes736 just discuss it with them, request a shorter notice period due to your extenuating circumstances.

Twiglets1 · 10/04/2024 08:17

Yes I agree with @almostspring2024 that you have to do things the right way rather than just not turning up. You can self certify for the first 7 days as suffering from stress then need to get a fit note if still feel unable to return.

Candleabra · 10/04/2024 08:20

Appreciate you’re not enjoying the job, but is now the right time to leave if you’re struggling at home too? Are you going to be in the right frame of mind to get a new job? With your husband so unwell, how will you manage for money?