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Original poster

Slightly weird job situation

47 replies

middledagedjobseeker · 09/04/2024 08:40

I work for a small charity, looking for another job as a bit bored and isolated in my role, but it took me over a year to find this role (that no-one else had applied for) and I'm only getting older, so it may take a while, if it ever happens.

My line manager is the CEO and although we get on well, there have been instances like:

  • Soon after I started, I mentioned that I felt isolated (I'm the only person in my particular area) and asked for more frequent one to ones with my line manager ie him, so more than once a month. He said (nicely) no, although I know that he meets with the other people that he line manages fortnightly.
  • our scheduled one to ones in the online calendar ran out last summer and he didn't notice for six months. Our one to ones are just me telling him what I've done and what I will be doing, so not that supportive to me, but at least someone to talk to!
  • the one to ones are now scheduled, but he sometimes just doesn't dial in and doesn't mention it. On Friday, I was in a meeting with him and some other people. He mentioned to someone else that they were meeting later but didn't mention the one one to one with me scheduled immediately after. I felt too embarrassed to mention it/dial in - am I really boring?
  • I've been covering a vacant post for six months. He has thanked me for this, but I was too scared of being knocked back to ask for renumeration or promotion.
  • There's a development opportunity coming up that I've expressed an interest in. He has not got back to me about it, so I'm assuming that's a 'no'. I don't want to ask because it may take me years to find another job, and it feels too humiliating to be turned down for something that would be well within my capabilities but still be stuck there.

This all sounds a bit overly dramatic on my part written out, but it's really affecting my self-esteem. The majority of the staff team prefer to work remotely, so I'm often in the office by myself and go for days without speaking to anyone.

For context, I'm very competent and don't really need line managing. I suspect this is the underlying reason for this situation. One of the SLT regularly asks me for advice and support, which I'm happy to give as I'm generally a nice person, but I feel so under-valued.

Has anyone ever been in a similar situation and, relatedly, how the jeff do you get a new job once you're in your mid-50s?

OP posts:
brocollilover · 09/04/2024 08:48

he sounds very busy and i suggest you. wing more proactive

our scheduled one to ones in the online calendar ran out last summer and he didn't notice for six months

and you noticed but didn’t mention 🤔

brocollilover · 09/04/2024 08:51

There's a development opportunity coming up that I've expressed an interest in. He has not got back to me about it, so I'm assuming that's a 'no'. I

how did you express?

parietal · 09/04/2024 08:55

How many other people does the boss manage? I manage quite a lot so I like it when people remind me about meetings and push me for things. Otherwise I don't have time.

Try engaging more and reminding him to meet more. Don't expect him to remember

inappropriateraspberry · 09/04/2024 08:56

Get some gumption and talk to him!
It sounds like you are very quiet and fly under the radar, so he 'forgets' you or isn't so aware of you and what you're doing.
I'd initiate more communication whether phone, email, teams etc. Ask him about the opportunity, a simple 'any news or update on the development opportunity we discussed?'
You seem to be making a lot of assumptions and not getting actual answers or feedback.

Original poster
middledagedjobseeker · 09/04/2024 09:21

Thanks for the responses. He line manages four other people who I know are a lot more high maintenance than me. I agree that I should remind him about one to ones, but I feel a bit weird when I literally have nothing to say other than 'I've done this, I've done that, I'm going to do whatever'. He is very busy - before I started, there was a role between me and him which was cut for budget purposes, so he's sort of covering that as well as CEO.

Which is why I didn't mention when the scheduled one to ones ran out. The organisation was under a lot of pressure (had scheduled too many big tasks in too short a window which we're still trying to unpick the problems caused...) and I think me just getting on with what I needed to get on with was very low in his priorities.

I expressed an interest by saying, "I'd like to line manage that person" when he was talking about creating a role (that was actually my idea to create but I haven't been involved in it as I'm not SLT) and he just said "umm".

I agree that I should ask, but how do I style it out if/when he says no and I'm stuck there until (if ever!) I get another bloody job?

OP posts:
TokyoSushi · 09/04/2024 09:24

Why do you go into the office when nobody else does? Can you WFH?

inappropriateraspberry · 09/04/2024 09:25

If he says no, then you say ok, and ask him to consider for any similar positions if they come up.
At your 1 to 1s, can you be more proactive and ask him if there's anything else you can do to help, or offer ideas for other projects? You seem very passive in your work - you do what is asked and don't seem to be pushing for more. Be louder, be seen and you may get more out of your job.

brocollilover · 09/04/2024 09:25

op

he’s busy
you’re passive

Original poster
middledagedjobseeker · 09/04/2024 09:25

I do agree with what people have said and I would say the same to someone else. But it's the huge uncertainty about whether I'll be able to find another job that is affecting how I approach it.

It took a long time last time and I've not managed to secure interviews for the two I've applied for recently. I've never had a problem getting interviews before, and I've taken the same approach with the application forms, so I'm hoping that it's a numbers game more than anything else.

OP posts:
brocollilover · 09/04/2024 09:26

I expressed an interest by saying, "I'd like to line manage that person" when he was talking about creating a role (that was actually my idea to create but I haven't been involved in it as I'm not SLT) and he just said "umm".

well that’s your answer op. no.

and quote honestly on the basis of what you write, the correct decision

inappropriateraspberry · 09/04/2024 09:26

What has looking for another job got to do with how you approach the current one?

brocollilover · 09/04/2024 09:26

how long have you been there?

Original poster
middledagedjobseeker · 09/04/2024 09:28

Yes, I can WFH but I like a bit of variety in my working week. The job is hybrid and I'd have never applied for a remote job.

I don't think I'm passive. I've been covering a vacant post for six months which was initiated by me and regularly support and advise one of the SLT.

I honestly couldn't be doing more to support the organisation and colleagues!

OP posts:
Original poster
middledagedjobseeker · 09/04/2024 09:29

Two years. I've felt isolated since I started, hence involving myself in as many projects and tasks as possible.

OP posts:
brocollilover · 09/04/2024 09:29

middledagedjobseeker · 09/04/2024 09:28

Yes, I can WFH but I like a bit of variety in my working week. The job is hybrid and I'd have never applied for a remote job.

I don't think I'm passive. I've been covering a vacant post for six months which was initiated by me and regularly support and advise one of the SLT.

I honestly couldn't be doing more to support the organisation and colleagues!

op reread your op

you allowed 6 months to pass without a 1-2-1 waiting for your busy boss to raise it

and that’s just for starters

inappropriateraspberry · 09/04/2024 09:31

middledagedjobseeker · 09/04/2024 09:28

Yes, I can WFH but I like a bit of variety in my working week. The job is hybrid and I'd have never applied for a remote job.

I don't think I'm passive. I've been covering a vacant post for six months which was initiated by me and regularly support and advise one of the SLT.

I honestly couldn't be doing more to support the organisation and colleagues!

But how aware of this is your line manager? Do you remind him of what you are doing? It comes across that you do what you're asked but don't really shout about your achievements.

Original poster
middledagedjobseeker · 09/04/2024 09:31

brocollilover why do you think 'no' was the correct response to my request to line manager a role that I had the idea to create? I termed it like that to make the point that I had been direct, although I did explain why I would be best placed to do this.

inappropriateraspberry because being knocked back and not being able to leave makes me feel shit about myself tbh.

OP posts:
Original poster
middledagedjobseeker · 09/04/2024 09:32

My line manger is totally aware. In my recent (glowing) appraisal, he thanked me profusely for covering this work and helping others.

OP posts:
HoppingPavlova · 09/04/2024 09:33

I don't think I'm passive. I've been covering a vacant post for six months which was initiated by me and regularly support and advise one of the SLT. I honestly couldn't be doing more to support the organisation and colleagues

You do seem passive though. Why not use the majority of the scheduled 1:1 time to go through your development plan. It’s your opportunity to put across your extra work, additional skills, how you can add more value again and so forth. Take the bull by the horns. But you just seem to be sitting there, spinning on a chair going, ‘uhm, it’s okay, maybe he won’t even meet with me’.

Original poster
middledagedjobseeker · 09/04/2024 09:39

That's exactly how I did use our one to ones. Due to the isolated nature of my role, it was the only way to make at least one person in the organisation aware of what I'm doing/planning.

It felt a bit of a burden on his time tbh. Me talking and him saying that sounds good. I'd like a role where I had someone to work collaboratively with, which is what I'm looking for.

OP posts:
Luckydog7 · 09/04/2024 09:53

You are actually in quite a strong position here op. You are covering a vacant role that they struggled to fill, your appraisals have been very positive and the ceo has been overtly grateful to you.

The issue seems to be a mixture of his business and your selfsufficentness meaning he's taking you for granted somewhat even if it's unintentional. Plus the problem that you don't seem to enjoy working alone but that is the role unfortunately.

Have you been looking for alternative roles? Have you offers to take some of his workload from CEO? What would happen if you said you were unhappy and were looking for alternative positions?

It might be that this just isn't the job for you. You should start looking and don't leave until you have another job offer and use that to negotiate

Original poster
middledagedjobseeker · 09/04/2024 11:16

Thanks Luckydog7, I think that's right. Yes, this isn't the role for me longer term, and won't be due to how the organisation is structured. He does have a lot of demands on his time and I am very self-sufficient.

Actively job-hunting, although I'm realistic about how long it may take based on previous experience.

OP posts:
shearwater2 · 09/04/2024 11:17

I would drum up the courage to ask for a payrise for doing extra work etc and if they don't give it then start looking elsewhere. It sounds like you have a lot of autonomy in your job though - why not create more interesting projects which you could collaborate on with others? How would you manage someone like you if you were your boss? It sounds like you could make the job a lot better, if you want to.

coffeelover9 · 09/04/2024 11:32

Aw OP

He reminds me a bit of my old boss. Bit busy. I got on with my old boss fantastic as I am a little pushy. If he missed a meeting and I wanted to call I would chase (call/message). My friend at work didn't find him a good line manager and criticised him for 'lack of opportunities' etc but she didn't push him.

"I feel a bit weird when I literally have nothing to say other than 'I've done this, I've done that, I'm going to do whatever." OP play the game. If you want to be considered for promotion / other opportunities you need to 'showcase' what you're doing to your boss. So even if you are meeting to say 'I did this.' that is good.

If you struggle to get hold of him update him via e-mail.

Advocate for yourself for what you want!

coffeelover9 · 09/04/2024 11:34

btw I am not saying with colleagues you should have to wipe their arse. You shouldn't. There is a difference between that and someone being busy and rushing from meeting to meeting and meetings overrunning etc.