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Original poster

Conflicted about work and school fees

41 replies

Ilivetosleep · 01/04/2024 11:07

Pls tell me I'm being stupid.

I have changed my user name for this. I started working in a private school about 2 years ago. My son and daughter are 14 &13. I was going to leave and they have offered me a bursary for the kids to do the GCSE/A-levels at the school I work in if I don't leave
I don't love my job but I am good at it. For reference it's one of the top academically Achieving schools in the UK. I feel like I would be stupid to turn this down. The bursary is 100%.
Wwyd?

OP posts:
malachitegreen · 01/04/2024 11:08

what do your children want?

WittiestUsernameEver · 01/04/2024 11:08

Suck it up and stay

titchy · 01/04/2024 11:09

Do they go there now? If not do they want to?

GrazingSheep · 01/04/2024 11:09

What are the options for your children if you leave? What are the fees?

Synergies · 01/04/2024 11:09

What's your reason for wanting to leave the job?

JustKeepSw1mming · 01/04/2024 11:09

If its the right school for your kids, then I would absolutely stay. Its 5 years max!

malachitegreen · 01/04/2024 11:10

so it is 5 years. People work in jobs they hate more for far longer than 5 years for the sake of their children. But would your children actually benefit from this? If they are happy and doing well where they are, no point in disrupting their education and friendships, is there

GrazingSheep · 01/04/2024 11:11

It’s not right to make your children pawns in a game to make you stay.

AsthmaFlight · 01/04/2024 11:13

Why were you going to leave? What were you goi g to do instead?

Would the kids want to leave their friends?? Are they happy at their school?

ChateauMargaux · 01/04/2024 11:14

It is one hell of a sacrifice if you really don't want to work there... but a hell of a bonus if you do stay...

What will the impact be on you? Will it be guaranteed until the end of A Levels? Can you afford the additional costs.. extra curricular, trips etc.? Do your children want to go? What will this do to your career, your mental health... 5 years is a long time? What other options are available to you and to your children? What are your partner's thoughts? What sacrifices has he made for your children?

pickytube · 01/04/2024 11:14

This is very difficult on one hand this is a great opportunity for your children but on the other hand you don't enjoy it. To be honest, I never liked any of my jobs but did it for the pay and if any of my jobs ever offered 100% bursary for a top private school then I would of course stay!

Original poster
Ilivetosleep · 01/04/2024 11:15

They like the school. They have been to visit a few times as they school has an active community whereby they do fairs and plays and staff can bring their kids. They have also participated in sports events for the school etc.

I wanted to leave as I was head hunted for a very good very well paying senior role at my old organisation. But I have not accepted the role.

My kids like the school and would come here.

OP posts:
Original poster
Ilivetosleep · 01/04/2024 11:16

ChateauMargaux · 01/04/2024 11:14

It is one hell of a sacrifice if you really don't want to work there... but a hell of a bonus if you do stay...

What will the impact be on you? Will it be guaranteed until the end of A Levels? Can you afford the additional costs.. extra curricular, trips etc.? Do your children want to go? What will this do to your career, your mental health... 5 years is a long time? What other options are available to you and to your children? What are your partner's thoughts? What sacrifices has he made for your children?

Thanks. The vocation I am Qualified in is an very in demand key worker job. With huge (60k + vacancies across the UK) do if I wanted to I can always find a job.

OP posts:
HawaiiWake · 01/04/2024 11:17

You mentioned you don’t love your job but on the spectrum what would you state it as : is it hate the job or meh? 100% bursary, are your kids there already?

Riverlee · 01/04/2024 11:18

If you hadn’t been head hunted, would you be looking around for a new job, or were you happy at the school until then?

Why did you leave your old organisation? Was it to further your career, or because you disliked it?

what are your dc’s school like? Would they succeed there? Has it got a good reputation? Are they happy there?

TheSnowyOwl · 01/04/2024 11:20

Given your reason for leaving is that you were head hunted, it sounds to me that you weren’t looking for other employment because you had planned to stay in your exisiting role throughout your children’s time in education. Is that correct? If so, I would stay. It’s not that long for you and it could make a massive difference to the futures of your children. Even if you would pay the school fees if you went elsewhere, a 100% bursary means a lot more disposable income for the household and to benefit the children.

HawaiiWake · 01/04/2024 11:20

On the accounting side: new job salary after tax vs kids education+salary after tax+ school trips+ music lessons etc.

Original poster
Ilivetosleep · 01/04/2024 11:24

They are not in the private school at the moment. They are at the local state school. Which is an OK school. Not the best but OK.

I left my old role due to stress and burn out. I could barely string a sentence together. It was awful.

Thanks for all your comments. I think I'll stick at it and the kifs transfer to the school I work in. Time does go quickly...

OP posts:
AnAwfulPerson · 01/04/2024 11:26

WittiestUsernameEver · 01/04/2024 11:08

Suck it up and stay

This. It's a fantastic opportunity for your children that could help set them up for life.

Original poster
Ilivetosleep · 01/04/2024 11:28

Thank you for all your comments. I genuinely wasn't expecting such a response!!!

OP posts:
OlderGlaswegianLivingInDevon · 01/04/2024 11:30

Your children don't currently attend the school, so in order to keep you there the school has offered both of your children free places until the end of their school education ?

If so, that is one massive financial bonus ! to you
what are the school fees each year per child ? £20,000 ?

wow they really do want to keep you.

AsthmaFlight · 01/04/2024 11:35

Ah from your comments it doesn't sound like you're a teacher? Which makes a difference?

A teacher who has reached The Wall will find it hard to do another 5 years in a job causing exhaustion and stress. But if it's not teaching it may be more manageable!!

malachitegreen · 01/04/2024 11:40

AnAwfulPerson · 01/04/2024 11:26

This. It's a fantastic opportunity for your children that could help set them up for life.

Show quote history

Set them up for life in what way? Set them up for life how differently from their state school?

ChateauMargaux · 01/04/2024 12:00

Will your career / old organisation still be interested with 5 more years out of the profession?

If you do go back to your old job / organisation... will the stress and reasons for burnout have gone away / will you be able to manage things differently this time?

If you stay, what can you do to ensure that you are getting what you need from life to ensure you are personally fulfilled and not marking time while everyone else gets the most out of life.

The realities of finding your way back into a £60k career when you are 50 is very different to when you are 40. Do you see other older females returning to your old career after many years out of the career.

AsthmaFlight · 01/04/2024 12:23

I actually decided not to teach at a school that would have given us bursaries as i was worried if I struggled teaching and it was during their gcse or A level years they'd lose their places.

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