How many of you are full time working mums?

[micaeola]

I have a 2 and 6 year old.

I work 2 days 9-8 and 1 day 9-2. Then some Saturdays.

My eldest is in full time school but little one I have 2 days off a week with her which I love!

I am not enjoying my job and am considering jobs working 5 days 9-2 meaning I am still part time but will have to put her in childcare for 3 half days, 1 day with MIL and 1 day at home with me whilst I work.

It suits me better and in the long term will be more beneficial when she's in school. Pay wise it's about the same. I'd be working from home.

I just feel so guilty that I'm not going to have the quality time with her that she deserves. I won't be able to take her for days out during the week anymore. But I am being ridiculous ? Do most mums have to do this?

Thanks

Can you want until your 2 year old is at school or are you miserable? One day with an earlier finish and two days off sounds great (not as good with the Saturdays)
I’ve gone from 8-12 two days & 8-3 three days to 5 days 8-4/5 and it’s been a shock!

I work 8 til 4 term time only, two year old does 4 days nursery one day with my mum. Eldest is at school already, DP does pickup and dropoff when mum isn't here (but we could use clubs too)

I looked for school hours jobs when I returned to work but 9-2 almost impossible to find. Nursery offer either 8-6 or 9-3, no half days. There is one on the other side of town that does but I didn't like it and traffic around there is horrendous so wouldn't gain much. School preschool has no access to wraparound.

I guess what I'm saying is how feasible is finding a 9-2 job, particularly one that will allow you to WFH with child present. And do your nursery half days match up to that or would you still have to pay full days to get coverage of your work hours?

I find being home with both of them by 4.30 every day still gives us a fair amount of time together every day and as a result of us both working FT we can afford to do nice things at the weekends and in the holidays- I'm well aware that TTO working is going to be the holy grail for us once both of them are at school so decided on balance to stick with the FT 8-4. I could possibly drop a day or two once nursery funding kicks in but it's not in my direct control if I can, so it's a wait and see sort of thing.

Also should say my nursery offered me a TTO place for the little one which was a very pleasant surprise from an AYR nursery. I'll be very sad when it's time to leave there!

Full time, always have been. Just compressed into 4 days so 1 day at home with youngest while oldest is in school.

I like my money too much to reduce below full time 😅

I don't work full time but my hours are 9-3 mon- Fri term time which suits me quite well so I can do the school run too as workplace is local to the school

Hi, I have already found and interviewed for the job, haven't been offered position yet so just working out what's for the best.

My nursery does offer 5 hour days at a half price rate so that's not really a problem.

It is doable and would suit us as a family better but I just feel so guilty that I could potentially be losing my 2 full days with just her.

I work full time (teaching, so not quite the same hours as a real FT employee), as does my husband. We have a 14 month old, and another on the way.

The ONS has some really interesting stats on this:

75% of mothers work
More women with children are employed than women without children
When both parents work, it is more common for both to be FT than for one to be PT
33% of mothers have ‘special’ hours at work

You shouldn’t feel guilty for working; your LO will be learning so much at nursery etc. If it’s any consolation, the outcomes for children of working parents are more favourable than for those with unemployed parents.

https://www.washingtonpost.com/creativegroup/jpmorgan-chase-co/how-working-mothers-inspire-their-children/

https://www.ons.gov.uk/employmentandlabourmarket/peopleinwork/employmentandemployeetypes/articles/familiesandthelabourmarketengland/2021/pdf#:~:text=Almost%20half%20(49.0%25)%20of,as%20%22in%20employment%22).

Yes full time 9-6 Monday to Friday. WFH on Fridays. 4 weeks leave. It's tough. The upside is financial security and independence, and I've had a very interesting life. The downside is I miss them like crazy.

I've been FT ever since DS was 8 months old. I work Monday-Friday 9-5 officially, but it's a fully remote role with lots of flexibility for early/late starts, school pick ups, etc which definitely helps.

I worked 4 days for a while when i had a long commute, but went back to 5 days when I changed to a much closer job. The increase in wages is worth it imo, though I would quite like a cleaner.

This is the thing, I won't have an increase in pay. It'll be the same. But I feel like I might have a better work/home life balance. Especially WFH.

At the moment I work til 8pm 2 days a week, so when I get home they're in bed. My eldest goes to after school club on these days and little one in nursery 9-5.

If I was to get the job, I'd be home everyday from 3pm with them.

Will update if I actually get it.

I agree with this. I do 9-5:30 five days a week. 26 days holiday plus bank holidays. I work from home full time so the odd day of childcare because of illness isn't a problem, I have a lot of flexibility if I need it. Although my eldest is fine to be home now anyway, she's old enough to look after herself.

I went back to work full time after mat leave, sometimes I feel guilty because I don't want to miss out but I spent a long time as single parent and financial independence with working full time meant we were comfortable.

I have a 4 year old and a 9 month old and work full time. Always have done. I don't know any Mums who don't work though, so it's never occurred to me to feel bad about it? I also like the financial security that two salaries bring.

3 and 5 yr old here and since the 5 yr old started school Ive switched from 32 hrs in 4 days to 9-3 five days a week so I can do drop off and pickups every day. I the. Make up the two hours by working a longer day on my husbands day off (he’s on a rolling rota so a different pattern of weekdays off over 6 weeks and every weekend off). This pattern wasn’t offered as standard I’ve juts put in a flexi request to chnage to and my boss went for it.

I always wonder why people post the these kind of questions. This data is available from ONS. Even if 45% of women of working age work FT (or whatever the figure is) does it make a difference to your circumstances or decision making? Does it change what you will decide?

I'm always genuinely surprised at the percentage of women who don't work at all. IiRc full time working women are in the minority.

ONS stats show that only 71% of women are economically active and a similar figure of 72% for women with children. But for women the unemployment rate overall is about 66%.

Of women with children age 0-18 who are economically active, 43% work ft and 53% part time. The rest are unemployed.

But honestly if 1/3 of women in the uk aren't working, how are they surviving - who the heck are paying for them? Men?

I get so depressed reading stats like this.

I work full time. Average around 50 hrs a week. Have to travel and DD has to stay with family as I’m a single parent. I earn decent enough money and couldn’t afford the mortgage, bills, holidays etc unless I did this. I’ve worked full time since DD was 10 months old, would love part time but it just isn’t an option.

I work 4 days 9-3 and 1 day 9-5 plus 4-5 hours at home a week. Two children 8 and 10. It is hard. However it's a company owned by me and DH so we have flexibility, we try to work at home one day a week. He works much longer hours than me so I am the default parent and do all school runs except for on the WFH day, and I do all after school activities. For kids illness we alternate one of us staying at home depending on who it's the least inconvenient for on that day. For school holidays the kids love to come to work with us a day a week, grandparents do a day a week, work from home a day, and then a bit of holiday club. Honestly if I had a normal employer I wouldn't be able to do FT. The reality is my DH is the one who can earn the good salary, I'm simply a HR/accounts and admin manager. So I think realistically this would have to do PT.

I'm a full-time teacher, so full-time in that I'm at school from 8am to 5pm most days but if a few days I turn up at 8:30 and leave at 4pm nobody will say anything. So it's not really full-time full-time if you know what I mean. And obviously crap loads of holidays.

I work 8-4 Monday to Friday. DS is 5 and DD who is almost 2. I get4 week leave plus BH. DH works 5-2 Saturday to Wednesday and gets 4 week leave no bank holidays.

I really wish I could drop to 4 days but while my mortgage is as much as it I can't afford to!

Returned to work when 1st was 4 months old and at 8 months with 2nd. I have never done part time, and have the sort of job where I often have to work evenings, travel etc. It is a professional career, not just a job for me. And as a result, I earn a lot, have financial independence and security, I will be able to retire by my mid 50s. My kids know no different. I feel no guilt, as my work has allowed them to live in a lovely house, to go to private schools and for us to have lived comfortably.

I was not and still am not temperamentally suited to full time parenting. I love my kids to bits, but did not plan to have them and find parenting incredibly stressful. Work is a doddle by comparison!

Correction in my post above. I said the unemployment rate for women is 66% but should have written 'employment rate'.

I've always worked full time but compressed into 4 days. DC are 6 and 9 now but this was my working pattern when they were small too. I've never felt guilty to be honest as I feel like they get a good balance of everything and I always had a day with them when they were younger before school started.
I like having the money and am not willing to compromise on that.

I've worked full time since ds was 2. I'm a single mum so I've no choice if I want to pay the mortgage.

We've coped well, ds is now a happy normal teen, and doesn't hold it against me.

I work full time and I do shifts. It's the same job but in a different team from whem my eldest was four and youngest was one. They are 28 and 24 now.
Mine went to a childminders.
They got the best of all worlds. Time with me on my days off, family time at weekend with me and Dh and time when I was working and time with their friends at the child minders. The childminder was brilliant for them as they socialised with lots of different people and had days out as well as a lot of fun.
It's great that MIL is going to have them as it will have a great bond.

I can assure you that you will still have quality time. I understand your worries and I had a wobble rhe night before I went back after mat leave but once you get into a routine things will be OK.
You are planning on working part time anyway. You'll be finished at 2.00pm there's still plenty of time do things.