How many of you are full time working mums?

[micaeola]

I have a 2 and 6 year old.

I work 2 days 9-8 and 1 day 9-2. Then some Saturdays.

My eldest is in full time school but little one I have 2 days off a week with her which I love!

I am not enjoying my job and am considering jobs working 5 days 9-2 meaning I am still part time but will have to put her in childcare for 3 half days, 1 day with MIL and 1 day at home with me whilst I work.

It suits me better and in the long term will be more beneficial when she's in school. Pay wise it's about the same. I'd be working from home.

I just feel so guilty that I'm not going to have the quality time with her that she deserves. I won't be able to take her for days out during the week anymore. But I am being ridiculous ? Do most mums have to do this?

Thanks

I’m a FT mum (married to a FT spouse). I have two children aged 5 and 2. I’ve worked FT my entire life. I work shifts including weekends and nights (albeit rarely as I am in a management role). I often leave before my children are awake or return home after they have gone to bed. When I worked long shifts I wouldn’t see my kids for 2 or 3 days depending on my rota. It has not affected my relationship with my children at all. Their childcare is amazing, I love them and am so happy that they care so much about my children. I want to go part-time or flexi in a few years, probably in around 3-5 years but ideally will compress my hours than drop them as my salary and pension matter a lot to me.

i highly recommend the freedom working FT brings (despite less time in the week, but now I have one child in school and the other due to go in the next two years I cant see the point of not working during this time) but would say if you could work 32 hrs a week you would be in the absolute sweetspot.

I work full time & have a 4 y/o. I think it offers me a good balance between mum life and my career. I do shifts - but on my day shifts I finish at 2.30 & I* *like having the evenings free and knowing I will be there for school pick-ups. It makes so much difference to when I finished at 5.

In that case @micaeola I'd go for it, being able to do pickup and dropoff, and school holiday clubs timings fitting with your working day will be invaluable. You'll get a good amount of time with them every day.

Unless that sort of job arrangement is really common in your line of work, when I might hang on a bit longer til the toddler goes to preschool or reception. But if it's an infrequent offer I'd definitely take it for all the years of not having to juggle things around school all the time.

I have 3 kids, one in primary, one in secondary and one who has finished uni, left home and working.
I work full time but was part time until my youngest was 7. I now do full time hours over 3 days (long shifts at a hospital) so still get 4 days off.

I work 9 til 5.30 plus whatever other hours I need to do. It's not very flexible but is home based.

My parents have kindly offered to do the school run every evening so that helps a lot. I worked part time when kids were smaller but now 6 and 8 everything sort of works ok.

I compress 4.5 days in to 4, so almost full time. I have Fridays off with my DD and, being totally honest, one day a week solo parenting a toddler is plenty for me!

I work full time. Me and DH WFH on Friday - and my mum pops over to watch DD - but basically my Fridays are v quiet so I usually get to have almost the full day with DD.

I also WFH two afternoons a week, pick DD up early from childcare and do extra hours once she goes to sleep.

In all honesty though I struggle with my two full days in the office as she's basically asleep by the time I get home :( and I don't see her in the mornings as I leave early and DH gets her up and ready for childcare.

It's worth it for us for the money, and the flexibility I get I really really appreciate. Not sure I could cope with five full office days, not seeing her at all as I get home before she gets to sleep! But maybe I'm super needy 😂

I am, I usually do around 50 hours a week including evenings and weekends. I went back to work when my youngest baby was 6 weeks old and that was my longest “maternity leave”. Without the money I earn, we wouldn’t eat, so it’s not really optional. I don’t really know what your OP is asking. I’m thinking most people need a job.

It looks like you are taking on a job with half days, two days off every week and I’m assuming you would get holiday and holiday pay. If you can afford to run your household and bring up your children on that, then more power to you. I don’t know if I’d swap places as I have a lot of pride in my work but I don’t get time off, half days or holidays. It sounds like you’ll have lots of time to spend with your DC.

I've worked full time since DS was 16 months old. Didn't have a choice as a single parent who had to keep a roof over our heads. I worked shifts until he was 27 months and then went for a 9-5 five days, with three out of four Saturdays. I didn't see him much as by the time I was getting home it was time to do bedtime, but made the most of my days off and he had a wicked time with his childminder.
I became self employed when he was nearly seven. I worked from home and could work while he was there, negating the need for childcare. I never missed an assembly or school play and did every school run.
He's nearly 16 now and I would say that spending time with a teen is more beneficial to them. He has never needed me more than the last twelve months.

I work 30 hours over 4 days and have a 6 yo and 1 year old.
He goes to a childminder 4 days a week and a day at home with me 1 day.
Looked at going back to full time but it's not worth it at all.

I went back to work FT when DS was 3 months old. He's 14 months now and I don't feel like I don't get quality time with him.

I've always worked fulltime. It was pretty rough when they were little. Childminder until they were old enough to start school and then wrap around childcare. I would leave the house at 7am and pick them up from childminder/after school club at 6:30pm. I missed them terribly and felt incredibly guilty but we couldn't afford for me not to work.

I wfh permanently now which was never an option for me pre pandemic. Its sooo much easier. We don't have to pool our annual leave together to cover half terms anymore. I can do school drop offs and pick ups at normal times! My 2 are old enough to entertain themselves at home during hols when I'm wfh but had I had this option when they were little, it would still have been so much better for my work life balance. No commute means no need for wrap around care. If my kids are too ill for school or I need to collect them early it's no big deal. I hated having to juggle that when I worked in the office. Guilt for letting work down and guilt for not being readily available for my kids. It's tough being a working parent! But needs must.

I work full time in an office job with long hours. Partner also full time but slightly more flexible as he can work from home.

Kids are both in school but we’ve always kept full time nannies to do the school run, homework etc.

We do bath and bedtime each night and full on weekends, holidays etc.

I like the fact that working the same as partner makes everything more equal. If i was working part time all the mental load and domestic labour would go to me. As it is we split it 50/50.

It is tiring though.

I thought long and hard before having kids and one thing I did was go speak to the most healthy, balanced adults I knew from my circle of mates and colleagues and ask what their parents did. I found no real pattern. Some had boarded, some had SAHPs, some had part time parents, some had parents with big jobs and nannies. All of them said the key was quality time.

Where am I going with this… I guess i’m saying do you, do what will bring you happiness. It’s possible to raise happy balanced children working more, or working less. What works for me might not work for you. I personally enjoy work and it enables me to be my best self around my kids x

I work full time. I really wouldn't count on being able to look after her whilst working from home. Most companies don't allow it, and practically it is very hard.

I work FT and my DC are 10 and 6. Have always worked FT and am fortunate that 1) my hours are quite flexible and 2) the kids school is 5 mins from my office so I can attend school plays, parents evening etc. The kids haven't known anything else and having the FT incomes of both me and my DH does help with household bills, holidays and savings. Hoping to be able to pay off the mortgage over the next few years and possibly reduce our hours in future.

Yes always worked full time - we got very used to the lifestyle that two full time salaries funded - ds and dd in nursery then private school which had excellent wraparound care as needed. They have fond memories of nursery and some friends still - they are 18 & 15 now and I’d say we’re a very happy family. But when I look back it was bloody hard work!

Surely you can take her out in the afternoons (after 2) if you choose? I work full time, DH 4 days and DS is in nursery 4 days a week.

I work full time and so does my husband. I feel like we have proper quality time together. We do so much at weekends and holidays and have no stress. I love it, I would say I am truly happy and wouldn’t change it for the world.

Do employers allow employees to look after a toddler when working from home?

My little one is 11months old and I've been gul time since he was 9months. I'm currently trialling compressed hours to have an afternoon off a week, but obviously means longer hours the rest of the week. I work 9am-5.30pm (ish) 4 days a week and 9am-1pm one day a week. I like it, and it helps he loves his nursery as do I. He gets picked up at 4.30 by his dad (DH) so his hours are 8.30-4.30 4 days a week and 8.30-1.30 1 day a week.
Life does feel a bit of a crazy race of breakfast, nursery run, dinner, bath, bed during the week but we enjoying and I think he gets more out of nursery than being stuck home with me, and I am a better mom for being at work. We can afford a better life (thankfully earn more than nursery costs although it's still a big expense) But mainly I love my job and it means a lot to me so we make it work, ad I'd hate to give it up. I was part time for a few months post maternity but I didn't enjoy it and couldn't have afforded it long term anyway.

Usually no, and frankly it's not safe or good for the child. You might be better off starting your own thread with this question.

@eurochick I think she was asking the question as OP said she would be looking after her youngest one day while she's working.

No.

My company policy says children of primary school age and under need to be in childcare.

I'm full time and have been since I went back to work after maternity leave at 4 months (which is the maximum we can have where I live).

I'm the major breadwinner and can't afford not to work. I work 9-5.30 so my daughter is in wraparound care in the evenings until 6. In the holidays she goes to holiday clubs on the weeks I can't take off. My husband and I tag team the holidays except at Christmas and 2 weeks in the summer.

It's hard work and we are mostly tired most of the time. But unfortunately we don't have much of a choice. After a summer of not seeing my DD much I am considering taking an extra week unpaid leave for the summer. We have no family support nearby so it's just us all the time.

However I would say that my DD seems very happy, She loves ASC and her holiday centres where she does loads of really fun activities. And we focus on her 100% during the weekends and holidays as we focus on chores and jobs during the week so she has all our time when she is with us.

I would perhaps prefer a little more balance, but it is manageable and I love my job and my daughter so overall am happy.