WFH and childcare

[MoominGang]

We had a new employee joining the team recently in a role that’s fully WFH. It’s now became apparent that childcare is an issue and the plan has always been to work with a small child around. I’m the manager in this scenario and completely exhausted with people who think this is appropriate and fair for both child and employer. It’s not the first case like this either. We’re not allowed to ask about personal situation and childcare situation at interview stage but I feel this needs to change.
Only here to vent…

I think a lot of workplaces are willing to be flexible for the odd day of illness and some people will have roles or contracts where they can flex their hours, but there's also a lot of people who take the mick.

I'm amazed at how many of the chancers seem to think they're much better workers and parents than anyone else because so many seem to claim that they're doing an amazing job at work and providing a safe and stimulating environment for a baby/toddler/young child.

What bothers me is that it seems disproportionately women who do this, which is interesting and not surprising. When men are WFH there's an expectation that they're focusing on work, not saving the family money on childcare by attempting to multitask.

Managing a team this is a tough one. Childcare has doubled in cost and halved in availability. Here in the U.S. they are turning the screws on the au pair program, the last good place to secure consistent help for your family. I know in the UK they have basically done the same thing, imposing onerous rules that shut the program down.

I think it’s a government policy to push women out of the workforce because anticipated workforce needs will be lower with technological developments. I never hear or experience men having these issues. Funny that.

As a manager I raised the lack of back up care and preferred childcare network in my last workplace. Having preferred status with a childcare group means you have better access to childcare, you don’t get a discount. It really helps start the conversation with the employee because you have a solution.

The other approach is to pair this lady with a mother who is also a peer who can help her with juggling the responsibilities of a career and parenting. They can then give them the lay of the land and drive home that childcare is available in these spots, and you must have it in place.

In my industry, we have to fill in timesheets which does help matters as you can’t lie as
we will go over budget. But we can’t put time to childcare - so basically now if your kid is off sick you have to make up the time in the evening or weekends (not fun, but it is what it is). Of course, people understand if you have to juggle for internal meetings. Basically, the boundaries are firmly set and it makes it less stressful on both sides. But depends on the type of work.

My DH and I both work from home so every day for a few hours and always during school holidays, one of us is working and the kids are at home. But the person working is working and the other one is responsible for childcare - which sounds like your setup with your mum.

I mean the odd time one of the kids wanders in while I'm working (I do have a home office) which is fine. I can get rid of them swiftly. My employer states you cannot be in charge of kids while working which I'm not if DH is there.

Is she getting all her work done/on time?

Just to add context, I can’t afford to return to the UK because of the cost of childcare. I make a very high income and it’s just not affordable for me to pay taxes as a single person, raise 3 SEN children and have a full time nanny/housekeeper. I empathize with anyone trying to hustle but really you can’t have children unsupervised while you work. Especially with children under 5 or my ADD children, it’s an accident waiting to happen.

As women we need to make our voices heard on this matter. Divorce today is seeing courts demand women work full time and take responsibility for care of the children. The settlements, alimony and child support require the mother maintain her career, however the support isn’t there for this to happen. It’s a huge erosion of women’s rights.

Hmm I think it massively depends on the person.

I work from home once a week and collect DS (7) from school. I've always done this. During that time (around 1.5hrs a week), I sort of let DS do whatever in the living room while I work in the dining room.

My work doesn't suffer, I meet my deadlines, I answer my calls etc.

I don't think this would work as a solution all week though, and especially not with a younger child. It was hard enough doing this when DS was 4.

Well yeah i think many of us will have that situation where a school-aged child will need to occupy themselves for an hour after school. I get the impression Op is referring to a much younger child, ‘baby’ has been mentioned.

I can’t work and look after my 3 year old, let alone a baby.

Children popping in on team calls and meetings looks unprofessional honestly. My children know when I am working and that they can’t disturb me if they are in the house (with childcare!). If the house is too small, work from your bedroom or go to the office.

I agree with you Sonora25. As a one off I'd not think much off it but if I noticed that someone's children were regularly interrupting meetings I'd think it was unprofessional unless it was a workplace where it was accepted that WFH with young children was ok.
The grandparent who is looking after the children needs to have a line that mummy isn't interrupted when working in my opinion.

Quite interesting, I am now wfh permanently and have a young primary aged child (8)
This is a recent change to my contract in order to give up my wraparound care.
My employer is fully supportive and know that I will give 100%

I'm in a very busy industry too

I think with an established, productive employee and an 8yo that's a very different prospect to a new untested employee and a small child.

As they are school children they should be old enough to understand you cannot interrupt mummy when she's on a meeting ....put some rules out...have a sign like a stop sign on the door and pop out to them when you take a break.

I don’t think an older child would be an issue, certainly not late primary and outwith school holiday.
This is 10 month old baby, who will be trying to climb shelves, reaching stuff off the table and needing supervision all the time.
The situation has now resolved itself as the employee has handed in their notice.

Thanks for the update op. I think that’s for the best. The employee would not be looking after a 10 month old properly or safely while working.

Awful.

you want to determine what age child would be ok. You want to determine what’s right and fair for someone else’s child. You note she’s doing well, so her performance isn’t impacted and still she’s been forced out.

this is clearly an issue that impacts women more. That’s why you can’t ask about it in interviews. Insane you’re even upset about that.

I've worked from home for years, well before Covid and I'd never try to look after a child and wfh. I only did away with childcare when my dd was in her mid teens as I didn't think it was fair to leave her to her own devices even when she could spend periods of time alone.

Sounds like your hr steam need to have a word and say it's impacting her work and how she presents herself whilst in class etc. at 10 months her dc isn't moving much but give it another few months and crawling will start followed by waking and then there's no chance she could be a parent and wfh full time

I don’t want to determine anything.
I’ve just lost a good employee who’s been with us for a few months. It’s a loss of time, money and energy. Only because she refused to get childcare in place.
And I want young families being supported more than anyone but WFH whilst looking after a baby is not the solution.

this is clearly an issue that impacts women more. That’s why you can’t ask about it in interviews. Insane you’re even upset about that.
It would be unreasonable to ask if women if they have children and what their childcare plans are.

It would be entirely reasonable to tell all new recruits that the company policy is that nobody is WFH when caring for young children.

It only affects women more if more women are choosing to ignore their company's policy and look after their children instead of working.