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Original poster

WFH and childcare

119 replies

MoominGang · 01/02/2024 20:29

We had a new employee joining the team recently in a role that’s fully WFH. It’s now became apparent that childcare is an issue and the plan has always been to work with a small child around. I’m the manager in this scenario and completely exhausted with people who think this is appropriate and fair for both child and employer. It’s not the first case like this either. We’re not allowed to ask about personal situation and childcare situation at interview stage but I feel this needs to change.
Only here to vent…

OP posts:
AnneElliott · 01/02/2024 22:00

As you said op this isn't acceptable. Plus it's a risk to the child as well surely? I remember reading about a small child who drowned in the hot tub as his parent was on a work meeting and he wasn't supervised.

I'd be clear if isn't acceptable and no childcare means unpaid leave for the day. Then if they didn't sort it I'd end their employment. It doesn't bode well if they take the piss on probation!

IhaveanewTVnow · 01/02/2024 22:04

We are not permitted to be the only adult at home with a primary school or under child whilst wfh. It’s in our wfh policy and is quite clear. i have young adults now but spent a fortune on childcare. Really irritates me when colleagues say they can’t afford childcare…..how did we do it before covid then?

aliatalia2 · 02/02/2024 07:23

IhaveanewTVnow · 01/02/2024 22:04

We are not permitted to be the only adult at home with a primary school or under child whilst wfh. It’s in our wfh policy and is quite clear. i have young adults now but spent a fortune on childcare. Really irritates me when colleagues say they can’t afford childcare…..how did we do it before covid then?

That's because childcare costs are now much higher and there's less staff due to Brexit

IhaveanewTVnow · 02/02/2024 08:12

We didn’t get any help then. I was paying around £1,200 for two for 3 days a week. They might cost more now but parents get help.

Sunglassesweather · 02/02/2024 08:28

IhaveanewTVnow · 02/02/2024 08:12

We didn’t get any help then. I was paying around £1,200 for two for 3 days a week. They might cost more now but parents get help.

Not to detail the conversation, because I fully agree toddlers need to be in childcare while you work, but that's what I'm paying for one child for 3 days! 😐

UghFletcher · 02/02/2024 08:32

It's unacceptable for sure.

WFH means working, not childcare. Of course there's the odd time / emergency where these things can't be helped but it's not a long term sustainable option and quite frankly it's taking the piss out of the employer.

I say this as someone who does WFH and went loopy in lockdown with my DS constantly there (but at least everyone was in same boat!)

mitogoshi · 02/02/2024 08:36

@Sunglassesweather

And we earned far less 20 years ago! Child care for one child was half my income, just like now.

anotherdayanotherpathlesstravelled · 02/02/2024 09:26

I also get frustrated OP as I pay a small fortune for full time childminders and before/after school club for my twins and older child and I see other colleagues "save" money that I can't (and quite frankly badly need 😂) particularly with the team I'm in which means lots of commuting and travel on non WFH days when they are off doing school pick up etc.

The good thing for me is that my boss sees this and so does then turn a blind eye if there is one or two days of the half term when they are all there. I do make up time and I also agree to very outside of working hours meetings on occasion to "bank" the goodwill

Bells3032 · 02/02/2024 09:54

IhaveanewTVnow · 02/02/2024 08:12

We didn’t get any help then. I was paying around £1,200 for two for 3 days a week. They might cost more now but parents get help.

Currently not getting any help. Currently paying £1400 for one child for 4 days so quite a bit more expensive. Come April we will get 15 hours (over 38 weeks so it's actually more like 10 hours) but so far very little bar £2k a year. You spent £14,400 for 2, I am spending £14,800 for ONE inc the help i get. Plus my guess is my mortgage/rent and other bills are much higher and my salary probably not much more. so saying well we did it fine 5-15 years ago isn't really an argument. there's a cost of living crisis happening now if you haven't noticed.

Saying that OP I completely agree with you and I am a person with a two year old. And honestly the occasions when they are sent home from nursery you can maybe make do but i found even that impossible. I managed to work a few hours whilst they slept and in the evening and just took flexi the rest of the time. It is not easy being in a meeting or trying to do work with a toddler round you. It's dam near impossible.

chatenoire · 02/02/2024 11:09

NerrSnerr · 01/02/2024 21:37

.... but I wouldn't be surprised if you get some people come on the thread saying they work full time and look after their 2 year old and their performance is not affected.

I'm one of those and have done it with both kids (as I have WFH for the past 12 years).

Neriah · 02/02/2024 11:14

MoominGang · 01/02/2024 20:38

I’m absolutely outraged by the fact that some people think this is acceptable.
It’s part of company policy but not contracts I believe. Not everyone admits to having caring responsibilities unfortunately, whether it’s at interview stage or later.

If it is company policy it is part of the contract. If someone is breaking company policy then as a manager you need to investigate that and take appropriate action if it is being broken. Contracts are not the paper that you got given - they are a wide range of policies and practices.

One of our directors was dismissed for doing this - it was deemed dismissable because she was responsible for enforcing the policy.

reclaimmyboobs · 02/02/2024 11:22

MoominGang · 01/02/2024 21:00

She is doing well and enjoys the role I think but baby has been spotted at the meetings.

Fucking hell. I had to do this during Covid where even tag teaming with DP it wasn’t always possible to line up my meetings with his childcare shifts; it was fucking horrendous, why anyone would do it now childcare is allowed is beyond me. Nursery takes all our money and gladly; it’s a sanity-saver.

I do appreciate when WFH colleagues bring their cats to Teams meetings, though.

ColleenDonaghy · 02/02/2024 11:27

I'm generally pretty live and let live in terms of others' parenting, but little infuriates me like this. Because we had two FT jobs in March 2020 that suddenly became much busier with the move online - and a 2yo who was at home, and it was awful. Pushing the buggy with one hand and sending important emails with the other.

jannier · 02/02/2024 11:46

AuntieJoyce · 01/02/2024 20:46

What are you planning to do about it OP? I have a relative who has just gone back to work and she is very open with family that that this is what she will be doing on the days she WFH at least some of the day. I think some people genuinely don’t realise or think a few hours here and there is okay

Have her family told her that it's not great for her child's development either

Fannyfiggs · 02/02/2024 11:58

At least she wasn't breastfeeding the baby at her one to one like one of my previous team members...

ChaoticCrumble · 02/02/2024 11:58

I've noticed it creeping in with colleagues. I occasionally have a 10/13 yr old at home if they're ill for example, but I can flex to cover any time I spend making them lunch etc and they're largely able to be ignored. Maybe I'm a hypocrite but I've done this with boss's knowledge and it's been fine.

You simply cannot do this with a younger child!

Overthebow · 02/02/2024 12:13

IhaveanewTVnow · 02/02/2024 08:12

We didn’t get any help then. I was paying around £1,200 for two for 3 days a week. They might cost more now but parents get help.

It would be a lot more than that for two for 3 days even with the help.

Overthebow · 02/02/2024 12:16

Overthebow · 02/02/2024 12:13

It would be a lot more than that for two for 3 days even with the help.

Show quote history

Saying that, I don’t think it’s acceptable to wfh whilst looking after a young child. I pay the nursery fees because it’s just not safe or fair on the child and work to do it. I occasionally wfh with my toddler if she’s unwell, but my work is very flexible and that’s allowed for a short time in this situation. I can make up the hours in the evenings.

Deathbyfluffy · 02/02/2024 12:17

It's a big problem - I'm a team leader and see this all too often. Luckily our HR policies on this are strict and anyone who is slacking due to this (or any other reason) is dealt with quickly at my workplace.

People taking the piss with this just means everyone will be dragged back to the office - currently we have a mix of office staff and WFH, with staff being brought back to the office if their performance is sub-par.

BrieAndChilli · 02/02/2024 12:27

with this scenario either you are doing your job well in which case you are neglecting the needs of a very young child - they are not getting the interaction and stimulation that they need a this critical age OR you are looking after your child and neglecting some aspects of your job. No one is a winner.

Different with probably age 8 and over where they will amuse themselves, are likely to only be there for a couple of hours after school and can take themselves to the toilet, get a snack etc without much intervention.

Robott · 02/02/2024 12:55

@Sunglassesweather your paying £400 a day?! Jesus Christ what kind of nursery is that!
What they having for Lunch.. a gold plated steak!

Igmum · 02/02/2024 12:58

It's incredibly annoying and entitled but it sounds like you are on top of it OP. Sorry you have to deal with it but well done for womanning up. I'm a single parent with a demanding professional job. Can't tell you how much I've paid in childcare over the years. I've really appreciated the flexibility of WFH when DD was ill, but to WFH permanently with no childcare and toddlers? WTF 🤯

Janedoelondon · 02/02/2024 12:58

Argh this really irritates me! As someone who works from home half of the time and pays a fortune for FT childcare, why people think they can get away without any is beyond me!! Venting with you!!

SuperBored · 02/02/2024 13:17

I'm going to go against the grain and say I have a colleague who has a young child with her whilst she is working. I love hearing her daughter occasionally babbling or saying 'mama'. My colleague is fantastic at her job and it is a very technical role so not customer facing, which maybe makes a difference and I know that if her daughter takes her time out of the day, she will make up the time, she has not to my knowledge let anyone's expectations down in her work.

trampoline123 · 02/02/2024 13:20

Agree with you.

I wfh a lot and wfh with the kids if the childminder can't work but couldn't think of anything worse than doing that full time for me, and the kids. I'd also like to point out my work are fine for us to do that.

Maybe ask your HR for advice.

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