Feeling down, disillusioned & struggling with new job

[Scorcher79]

Hi all,

Looking for some advice. I'm having a particularly shit week and feeling very vulnerable and emotional, not helped by the fact that I think I'm experiencing perimenopause! (Hot flushes recently and emotions all over the place).

I left a well paid & secure teaching job with great holidays as I didn't like the people I worked with(had some awful bitchy colleagues) and felt the environment was not good for me. In the intervening period, I got offered a job in administration in a university and am 4 months into that job. However, I feel I've made a huge mistake and am really struggling with my mental health as a result. While I like the people in the new job, I feel expectations are unfair and unrealistic and I've been placed on a "Performance Improvement Plan" as according to my line manager, I'm not picking up the admin skills "quickly enough" and not capable of "working independently". This is despite the fact that I've had no actual training on the various processes and systems within the college aside from being drip fed bits of information from one colleague who is helpful. I've spoken to other people in the college in different departments and they've told me that there's zero training provided and major issues with the "onboarding process". One colleague who's been there several years told me that she has been on the verge of walking out several times. I think my line manager is a nice person but I feel his expectations of me are unfair and unreasonable given the length of time I've been in the role and I'm really regretting taking on this job. I feel like I'm being set up to fail. However, I need the money and have burned my bridges with my teaching job as I resigned from that role so can't quit this one too as I don't know who else I could ask for references. I would love to find a meaningful job that I enjoy and am good at or maybe work for myself in some capacity but I feel my self esteem has taken a battering since I got placed on this "performance improvement plan". I don't think systems and processes are for me but neither was working with only women and young kids in my teaching job.... I'm really feeling quite desperate and down about things and would appreciate any advice anyone has....

what was your job before your last one? did you enjoy that?

Have you raised the fact that you're 4 months in and struggling with the lack of training and support? I would expect someone to mention within weeks of starting if they were struggling and needed more training.

Your employer is at fault for not providing but that isn't unusual in a busy workplace and it's your responsibility to flag it.

I wouldn't take any notice of the colleague who has been on the verge of walking out, if it was that bad she would have.

I'll be honest here and say that I find all the hero worshipping of teachers on MN quite unrealistic and hope that the encouragement for teachers to leave well paid, very generous holidayed jobs did not play any part.

Has you PiP suggested any training? It should have.

As above, the point of a PIP is not to just scare you into doing better. It's to talk about where you need to improve and give you a chance to highlight what support and training you need to achieve that.

Admittedly, they are not always run with that as their goal (wrongly) but I would still enter into one with that as my goal. Be clear, and get documented, exactly what training you need on what systems/processes.

This is your 'golden' opportunity to ask for it formally and, if it doesn't work out, at least you know really tried to get the support you need.

I think also that sometimes listening to complaining colleagues doesn't help. For sure there are times when it's nice not to feel alone with struggles but I think there are also times when negative talk leads you down a way of feeling that you needn't go down. Maybe think about which of those is happening here?

I work in a college in Administration and didn't get any training either. I just went with the flow and when I got stuck I shouted someone over to show me. I work with some lovely people thank god.

There's no formal training, so have you asked questions as you go along? Or have you just been waiting for people to tell you things?

Most jobs are not like teaching with lengthy formalised training. You sound a little institutionalised if that's what you were/are expecting.

I think it's normal for an administrator (or most non-teaching roles) to have an initial induction session to introduce the system on the first day and then be expected to get stuck in and learn by doing/asking questions.

If you adjust your approach and expectations, you could salvage this still.

One colleague who's been there several years told me that she has been on the verge of walking out several times

Also, lots of people say stuff like this. They rarely mean it literally or seriously.

Do you enjoy driving? Loads of ex teachers train to be driving instructors. Will cost about 2k and you are self employed. Can train around your current job too. My friends all love it and work around their kids. It’s not easy though and you have to research and find a good trainer. Don’t pay for the big companies a local ordit trainer is best. You can do part 1 and part 2 of the ADI training yourself and get help with part 3.

Put in writing a list of training requests.

Hi, @notjustthe , I was a teacher! The kids in the school I was in were actually lovely, it was the staff and the dynamics that were the problem for me. Also felt I needed a change after 17 years teaching(not all in the same school)... However not sure this change is the right one.... Thanks for the reply though!

Waterfallsandrainbows interesting suggestion though not for me I think! Perhaps working for myself in some capacity but not as a driving instructor.... thanks for the suggestion though!

Hi RandomMess, already did that. Made a list with input from a more experienced colleague of everything I would need to be able to do in the role along with my current confidence level. Then I had another column with steps I could proactively take to address that& beside that another column with confidence level after taking those steps....showed this to my line manager & we now have weekly meetings to discuss this so have been pretty proactive I would say in addressing those areas where I don't yet know what to do.....

I hear you about education. I've been in education in various different roles for 14 years and It's getting worse. A bit like the NHS. The whole country is crumbling. I've always worked with lovely people, but it's the red tape for me and lack of funds.
If I could afford to work for myself - and knew what I actually wanted to do, I would do that.

Discuss the performance improvement plan with your line manager and make it clear that the major part of that needs to be about proper induction and training. The organisation is failing its employees if that has not been done - it should be the most basic part of their role with a new employee. You need to be assertive and push them in the direction of doing their job properly. Map out what you need to say to them when you are at home, then arrange a meeting with line manager with all your thoughts clear in your mind.

Hi equinoxprocess, well I guess you may be right but the fact that she's considered it on more than one occasion speaks volumes for me....

Thanks Mischance, that's probably the most practical and useful suggestion I've read. I've spoken to colleagues in different departments who've made it clear to me that it's a general failing across the college. There's no training aside from being drip fed information from colleagues who are kind enough to give you their time if you have a question or are unsure of something. Mostly if you don't know something, you're told to refer to the manual (there's a manual for every system/process). ... I had been thinking this weekend about approaching the Head of School who I find is more approachable and has better communication skills than my line manager. It's the unrealistic expectations and culture I'm struggling with most....

Hi Soccermumamir, I think the self-employment route is what I'm gravitating towards most myself...hate being scrutinised and having every email/response analysed and being pulled up on things every time I inevitably make a mistake. If you figure out how to make that viable, let me know!!!! I need to identify what I would do too....

Hi equinoxprocess, I have of course been asking questions as for me, that's the only way to learn(& by making mistakes as well). However my line manager pretty much said to me after my first probation review (4 months into the role) that they needed me at a point where I wasn't asking questions and could work independently. That for me was unfair and unrealistic so soon in the role and given that the "training" consisted of being told "there's a manual for that" or a 2 hour online training session with a Chinese lady whom I couldn't understand, totally inadequate.

Hatenewyear, thanks for the reply. I do think the onus should be on the college to provide better induction and training but I suspect highlighting that is not going to change anything. I think I've showed extremely willing and been very proactive in seeking help and advice from other colleagues but my line manager seems to be of the opinion that I should just know everything automatically and not need to ask Q's which for me is a pretty difficult not to mention unrealistic mindset to comprehend.

What Mischance said.

Mind you, there's no such thing as a 'nice little admin job' these days! It can be brutal and worse if you've no experience. Everyone assumes they can do admin and they can't!

Could you do supply teaching while you work out what you want to do?

Have you made your own notes of everything you have had to learn through the non-formal training?

I'd be tempted to type it all up and use it as evidence of how much you haven't had training in.

"I don't think systems and processes are for me" - I think this is key. You will never enjoy working in a university if this is the case. Universities run on systems and processes and bring in new ones all the flipping time, and the expectation is that staff will get up to speed with the help of the manual. So even once you have got up to speed with the current processes, this is just the beginning.

In your shoes, I would have a good think about what you DO enjoy in the workplace and think about what jobs might suit.

that they needed me at a point where I wasn't asking questions and could work independently

Ah ok. That's a pretty toxic and dysfunctional stance from your manager.

I'd focus on your exit plan. You're unlikely to change anything where you are if that's the mindset of management.

sounds like you’ve moved from a long career in teaching to a role that isn’t suited to your skill set, and your struggling. It’s a process driven environment and you don’t enjoy processes

if you are already on performance review at this early stage (still on probation?) i’d be looking for a new job and sharpish

Thanks BenjaminBunnyRabbit, I must admit, I thought admin would be a lot easier than it is. I've done supply teaching too and hated it, found it worse for my mental health as you really don't know what kind of class you have in front of you and you don't know the kids either...

Hi notjustthe, you may be right but how do I get a new job more suited when I may not be able to rely on references from this employer?