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Feeling down, disillusioned & struggling with new job

37 replies

Scorcher79 · 25/01/2024 16:13

Hi all,

Looking for some advice. I'm having a particularly shit week and feeling very vulnerable and emotional, not helped by the fact that I think I'm experiencing perimenopause! (Hot flushes recently and emotions all over the place).

I left a well paid & secure teaching job with great holidays as I didn't like the people I worked with(had some awful bitchy colleagues) and felt the environment was not good for me. In the intervening period, I got offered a job in administration in a university and am 4 months into that job. However, I feel I've made a huge mistake and am really struggling with my mental health as a result. While I like the people in the new job, I feel expectations are unfair and unrealistic and I've been placed on a "Performance Improvement Plan" as according to my line manager, I'm not picking up the admin skills "quickly enough" and not capable of "working independently". This is despite the fact that I've had no actual training on the various processes and systems within the college aside from being drip fed bits of information from one colleague who is helpful. I've spoken to other people in the college in different departments and they've told me that there's zero training provided and major issues with the "onboarding process". One colleague who's been there several years told me that she has been on the verge of walking out several times. I think my line manager is a nice person but I feel his expectations of me are unfair and unreasonable given the length of time I've been in the role and I'm really regretting taking on this job. I feel like I'm being set up to fail. However, I need the money and have burned my bridges with my teaching job as I resigned from that role so can't quit this one too as I don't know who else I could ask for references. I would love to find a meaningful job that I enjoy and am good at or maybe work for myself in some capacity but I feel my self esteem has taken a battering since I got placed on this "performance improvement plan". I don't think systems and processes are for me but neither was working with only women and young kids in my teaching job.... I'm really feeling quite desperate and down about things and would appreciate any advice anyone has....

OP posts:
Scorcher79 · 28/01/2024 10:33

I thought so too equinoxprocess. I mean, how on earth do you work with that? You're expecting to learn (rapidly) but not take up anyone's time while learning and certainly can't make any mistakes...

OP posts:
Scorcher79 · 28/01/2024 11:04

Hi RandomMess and myphoneisbroken (great usernames BTW!) thanks for the insightful suggestions and advice. I think the idea of typing the list of everything I've had to learn without training is really good. Also the insight about systems and processes is I think what's at the nub of things... problem is I don't know what to do next! Who will hire me with my track record of leaving jobs and/or getting fired?

OP posts:
Cvoight · 28/01/2024 11:21

Hey,

I did kind of similar - moved from teaching to an admin type role. In my case it was an education role in a charity. I hated it. There was a lot of on boarding from the HR teams about centralised systems and mandatory training that I never used, but nothing on the day to day stuff in my department. Like you, I just had to ask a lot.

I guess that, unlike you, I didn’t expect to receive lots of training on the day to day stuff. However, what really shocked me was the culture shift from a school to a charity. In school, all the time, we were trying to make things better. Everything was so organised. At the charity, everyone did stuff differently, there were no systems, stuff went wrong all the time and no one seemed to care.

Also, I brought really high expectations. My colleagues had to tell me to chill the fuck out. I left after a few months, it wasn’t good for anyone me being there. I started really enthusiastically but quickly became quite disillusioned and depressed and I know that had a negative impact on my colleagues. I’m quite embarrassed looking back at my time there.

Okay, jobs ideas for you.

Go back to teaching. Honestly, you won’t have burnt your bridges. If you liked teaching and your colleagues were the reason you left, then you should at least consider this. You could always try slightly different versions of teaching which have less pay but less stress eg HLTA or EYE.

I would go on Tes with a search radius that’s a manageable commute and change no other filters. You will be surprised at how many jobs you had never considered that might work with your skill set. These might be support staff, or within a different kind of setting.

There are also quite a few online teaching roles for alternative provisions. They pay good hourly rates but I’m not sure if that would end up paying a good monthly wage.

Education/training in HR. Honestly - the thought of this makes me want to fall asleep! But it’s a natural move. There are some creators on tik tok who describe how they did this. Now earning loads of money in private sector.

You could do what I did and try an education role in a charity. Check out charity jobs website. It will be very low paid, poor pension and holiday. But you might find something rewarding (unlike me!).

I would honestly sit tight in your current job now for a while. Super engage with pip. Try to bring positivity into the job each day, rather than be a drain on it. It’s a culture shift you’ve gone through.

Good luck

notjustthe · 28/01/2024 11:23

Scorcher79 · 28/01/2024 10:31

Hi notjustthe, you may be right but how do I get a new job more suited when I may not be able to rely on references from this employer?

you have 17 years teaching experience

surely loads of reference options? !

moomoomoo27 · 28/01/2024 11:30

Scorcher79 · 28/01/2024 11:04

Hi RandomMess and myphoneisbroken (great usernames BTW!) thanks for the insightful suggestions and advice. I think the idea of typing the list of everything I've had to learn without training is really good. Also the insight about systems and processes is I think what's at the nub of things... problem is I don't know what to do next! Who will hire me with my track record of leaving jobs and/or getting fired?

I never stayed in a job more than a year, it grew my career very quickly over 10 years and allowed me to find a job I loved.

It's not really a track record for you, it's one or two jobs that didn't work out. I employ senior-ish office people on a regular basis and I don't care if they've not been in their last job super long and don't expect a reference specifically from the last employer as long as there's a reference from someone they've worked with (after all, most people aren't choosing to leave their current job because they loved it/the people).

Your reasons for leaving are perfectly valid and something employers will accept and believe. Especially if you ask at interviews what training and onboarding is provided as you work best from initial direction and like to make sure you're on the right track and avoid any potential problems before they can come up.

You are never going to change the work environment, you'll just get more frustrated and it doesn't sound like it's right for you so best to move on.

It sounds like you need to find something that makes you happy and you need to pursue that rather than trying to flog a dead horse (or have the dead horse flog you).

notjustthe · 28/01/2024 11:34

Who will hire me with my track record of leaving jobs and/or getting fired?

you have been fired before?

how many jobs have you had?

Bumblenums · 28/01/2024 11:40

OP I think it's a bit shitty giving u a PIP 4 months in. I have done lots of these complex admin jobs, you need to be confident in saying ' I don't know how to do this someone show me' , then get a nice notepad and pen and start making ur own notes. Own that process notes process. Make a list of things u haven't been shown and send it to your manager. We have a 'things we didn't know' file at work lols!

Sundaefraise · 28/01/2024 11:41

BenjaminBunnyRabbit · 27/01/2024 20:23

What Mischance said.

Mind you, there's no such thing as a 'nice little admin job' these days! It can be brutal and worse if you've no experience. Everyone assumes they can do admin and they can't!

Could you do supply teaching while you work out what you want to do?

The culture of some workplaces can be brutal. I moved out of education into a job in admin in financial services. It was a complete culture shock and I ended up almost failing my probation. By the time I left I thought it was a great job. If you can push on through, it almost certainly will get better or if it doesn’t you will be in a better position to get something else. You are obviously an intelligent person, you can do this.

notjustthe · 28/01/2024 11:45

Bumblenums · 28/01/2024 11:40

OP I think it's a bit shitty giving u a PIP 4 months in. I have done lots of these complex admin jobs, you need to be confident in saying ' I don't know how to do this someone show me' , then get a nice notepad and pen and start making ur own notes. Own that process notes process. Make a list of things u haven't been shown and send it to your manager. We have a 'things we didn't know' file at work lols!

my boss (who is brilliant) put someone on performance review during their probation at just under 4 months)

the reason being is the person truly was appalling. there was little option and it was prepping them for the inevitable probation . failure

Scorcher79 · 28/01/2024 12:34

You would think so, right but have taught in so many schools, I can't even remember where I worked!

OP posts:
notjustthe · 28/01/2024 12:35

Scorcher79 · 28/01/2024 12:34

You would think so, right but have taught in so many schools, I can't even remember where I worked!

that is a bit… odd op

so you’ve been fired (how many times and why)

and had many many jobs but none happy to give a reference?

PlipPlopChoo · 28/01/2024 12:48

Put in writing a list of training requests

Absolutely this.

Make sure you put everything in an email. Do not request training verbally because there is no paper trail. Respond in full to any concerns of theirs and outline what you think that you need to improve. And clearly ask how they will provide it.

Follow up any improvement performance meetings with an email if the conversation is not documented at the time.

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