I did something unprofessional in a board meeting

[ditzzy]

I have to be a bit careful not to out myself here - not that I’m an important person! Just that I think some people on here might know me.

I was in board meeting yesterday. I’m the boss but I have to answer to the board for actions, costs, achievements etc.

I’ve been asking permission to take on an extra member of staff for months. The finances are fine for it; I’ve identified the person but the rest of the board don’t think the extra person is needed because I should be able to do the job on my own. Except I can’t because there’s only 24 hours in a day.

I’ve started applying for other jobs that I know will be better for me (better pay, better use of my skills, better hours) but I really don’t want to leave if I can sort this out (which I just need this one person extra to do).

Halfway through the Board meeting yesterday, on Teams, my heart rate shot through the roof and I started shaking from head to foot. I took myself off camera immediately and muted myself. They all looked a bit puzzled but carried on. I then came back on and with a deep breath said “sorry, I can only define that as an outright panic attack, I really can’t carry on with this right now” so we adjourned the meeting.

It sounds like they all spent the rest of the day running around like loons trying to work out what happened. But I’ve been sent home and asked to stay away until Monday (and told to rest).

anyone here have any experience of this sort of complete meltdown? How do I come back from this?

Good luck! You sound really clear minded. I really hope they listen!

I'm really glad you have got real life support OP. Your friend sounds like a real help and I really hope things can get turned around.

I would continue to be wary if the chair is very weak though - that's not an easy problem to overcome.

Thanks! If they don’t listen they lose me - and that’s a far bigger loss to them than it is to me.

I forgot that this week and forgot my value. One of the things I’ve been trying to do is to set up a succession plan so that they do ok if I’m unavailable, and at the moment we haven’t managed to put it in place because I have an unusual combination of expertise.

Thanks - if the chair is being weak due to laziness, then this wake up call will fix it. If not, then we’ll end up with either him or me leaving, but I’m ok with it if it’s me, because I’m better that.

Good luck I hope they see sense.

Op I wish I'd handled my similar situation as professionally as you did! I had this happen when chairing a meeting a few months back, but I tried to just carry on, my voice was shaking, I couldn't get any words out, just couldn't think of anything I had to say so was just talking nonsense at everyone on teams. It was awful and I cried when it finished. It was also recorded so that memory will live on, 😂 don't sweat it. You're human not a robot.

I really think your approach is unacceptable op. And personally if someone tried to blackmail me, I’d tell them to go. Yes there is problems in your org, but you behaving in an unprofessional manner and threatening and blackmailing them does not help, nor does it make it appear you are not the problem. Even if you get your way it will cause resentment and I cannot see how you can survive there.

if you wish an additional employee, as said, understand their objections, is it cost, space, workload,role definition, what, you’ve not been clear on why it’s being blocked, then book a meeting in and sit down and discuss those objections and how to overcome them. Think it through. Find a way through. A professional one.

failure to do so and just threatening them, as said, would have me shaking your hand and saying goodbye, as it is utterly unacceptable way to behave in business. You’re not even doing it through emotional knee jerk, you’re actually planning it as a way to get what you want, you are so embroiled in winning.

I’d also be very sure that you are not part of the problem, you seem to dislike change, you clearly disagree with the strategy the new person has brought in, and petty arguments about report format has arisen, relationships have broken down. Now you’ve moved to I will threaten and blackmail.

This. You were actually very professional. Sometimes our body just has had enough and can only withstand so much stress it reacts to let us know enough us enough. I think if anything this strengthens your case for needing an extra member of staff- your workload is too much for one person. Companies will push to get away with not coughing up as far as they possibly can but it’s at the detriment to staffs health. Do not feel bad about what happened and it’s good that your were honest about it. If they were decent human beings they’d care.

This is incredibly unrealistic. If the board don't realise, especially after the recent incident, that they can't expect OP to carry on without help and that it's virtually inevitable that she will leave if nothing changes, they are exceptionally thick. Telling them that the consequence of their inaction will be her being signed off sick and she may have to leave isn't blackmail, it's a straight factual statement. OP has already had SVT and she can't put her health at risk. It is the board which is acting unprofessionally here.

I had a similar-ish situation fairly recently. The decisions our board were taking were, frankly, ridiculous and potentially unlawful. They also put a lot of pressure on me with a clear implication that I could be sacked if I didn't toe the line, which was fairly ridiculous because they knew being sacked held no terrors for me - I could walk into an another job with no difficulty at all - and would basically mean the end of the organisation. Ultimately I had to make it clear that I just was not going to go along with them and it was the chair of the board and her sidekick who resigned. Unfortunately there is something about the way boards validate each other which tends to lead them into these situations surprisingly often, and OP does not have to sit back and let it happen.

you Loose credibility when you respond with things like the board must be thick.

yes I’m sure they are now realising she can’t cope, and yes it maybe just about an extra pair of hands, but I’d expect anyone in management to be able to manage expectations, in terms of what will be done and when, and be able to understand and over come objections.

there are clearly much much wider issues now than the employee recruitment. They obviously want to grow and are going through a period of change, hence the new person, and rhe op is not on board at all with the strategy.

blackmailing them might go in her favour. But from what she’s written they may see her as the problem, and they may accept her offer to resign. Something she’s clear she doesn’t wish to do.

as such, telling her there is a better way to achieve what she needs is important, not a yeah you go girl you threaten and blackmail. She needs to speak to the objectors, one on one, understand what the objections are, devise a plan to over come and also she should have a clear staffing plan, as well as an understanding of how to pay for that.

Definitely sounds like a panic attack and you handled it in an amazingly professional way.

That was a very professional handling of your situation OP. We are not robots, being human/having limitations needs to stop being taboo. Let them stew on it.

Having spent six months working closely with them to listen to their solutions (which incidentally include cutting the hours of some of my key people with me picking up the slack) I think I’ve covered off the base of “giving them professional solutions” quite thoroughly.

it isn’t blackmail, it’s factual. If I carry on as I am at the moment, then my health will be destroyed. I don’t know whether I’ve caught this in time to avoid it even if I get the help I need. But I’m not prepared to take that risk.

As the CEO, I set a lot of the strategy, I drive the growth and we’ve successfully set up two new companies as part of the growth plan in the last couple of years, they’ve just got used to me being indestructible and at the moment that’s not true because they’ve pushed me too far. So yes, I do support the strategy, the rest of the board supports the strategy too, they just have unrealistic views on whether I can achieve it single handed or can get help to do it.

Then just resign. Simply hand your notice in and say you can’t continue and explain the reasons/.

Well done op you handled it well. You’ve also alerted people that you are feeling overwhelmed which is useful