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Original poster

Job pulled from under my feet

62 replies

nightsky69 · 19/12/2023 02:49

Can't quite decide how to handle a situation in my work and would welcome thoughts! I'm a fit and youthful woman in my 50s and have been working in a small start up company in an area of sustainability for the past 2.5 years, initially as a volunteer and then this year was offered a project within the company which paid about a day a week. In order to earn enough to live on I have an admin job too for 3 days a week which is a good job and pays an average salary. I struggle though with full days tied to a desk and computer. I started the job in the area of sustainability because I was passionate about it and it was said on several occasions that as the company grew and had an income stream I would be a central figure in helping 'grow' the company. Out of the blue another, younger person in the same field lost their job and this company handed her an upcoming project which they'd talked about me undertaking. Suddenly my couple of years of volunteering and working so hard to prove myself with the small project gave me seemed to count for nothing. This person came in with some contacts and managed to start talking to the project's funding body so that it seemed logical for them to start work on the project which had been lined up for me. I now find myself feeling so marginalised in a company I'd loved being part of. The company owners I'm pretty sure feel a bit guilty but the newish person seems already to be able to pick and choose the best opportunities and I know wants to keep me at bay. I tried talking to her to see whether we could put our thinking caps on to share some of the project as I know she'd felt gutted when she lost her previous job so might have been empathetic but nothing emerged. I can see my prospects for learning on the job dwindling and networking diminishing. Basically the problem is they now have two women with the same skill sets. After 6 months of festering and feeling gutted about it I've asked for a meeting to discuss my role. I really don't see why the co-owners who I know both like me can't fight my corner and recognise that as they initially brought me in with a speech about helping them grow their company they should at least make sure we both get an equal exposure to key opportunities. I am capable and they and I know this, but my confidence has taken a real knock and when I tried to apply for other jobs in the field, I didn't even get replies, possibly because I'm in my 50s. I feel time is running out for me. Thoughts in how to handle a meeting with co-owners to discuss my role moving forward?

OP posts:

comfyoldcardi · 19/12/2023 02:52

I would start looking for a new job. One that pays you for all the work you do. These people have used you and lied to you.

Alex Drake · 19/12/2023 02:58

I think it might be your 3 day admin job holding you back in this role? Perhaps they think you have too much going on already working 4 days a week? Have you let them know you are available to work for them x hours?

Original poster

nightsky69 · 19/12/2023 03:00

I have let them know that I am desperate for their work load for me to grow do that I'd have enough money commit wholly to their work.

OP posts:

singlesally74 · 19/12/2023 03:15

How many days is this girl doing? My gut feeling is the level of availability has something to do with it

FastingBitchFace · 19/12/2023 03:23

I have a feeling they are undervaluing you precisely because you’ve volunteered for so long. They’re taking you for granted. I’d feel hurt too.

Redskyatwhatever · 19/12/2023 03:24

I’m sorry to say that it appears from the outside that they were happy to have you working for them for free for the best part of 2 1/2 years and gave you one day a week paid work to keep you onside but do not actually value your contribution. Sometimes a company can only see existing staff in a particular way and cannot change their mindset so it’s only with someone new that they can see the possibilities. A while ago I was doing some volunteering for a charity, in addition to a full time job elsewhere, when a paid job came up at the charity I applied and was gobsmacked not to be even given an interview, one of the bosses even took me aside and said that they hoped I wasn’t too disappointed but that they did value the volunteering I did for them and hoped I would continue doing it. I thought f**k this and stopped volunteering. I applied for a similar job elsewhere and got it, so I was definitely capable of doing the job it just seemed that the charity had pigeonholed me as a volunteer only.

lamppost123 · 19/12/2023 03:24

How would job adverts know your age?

Sustainability is growing. Are you on LinkedIn?

Original poster

nightsky69 · 19/12/2023 03:26

@singlesally74 The other employee does 3 days a week and now they mentioned to me she'll work on growing the commercial side but I don't have a clue how they've structured that in terms of paying her. I think initially, before this new project, they were genuinely worried that it they offered me more work they funded themselves that it might not be sustainable, but that's why it's so gutting they didn't stick to their guns and offer me the bigger funded project as it would have been a way of stabilising my employment for them.

OP posts:

Mummyoflittledragon · 19/12/2023 03:28

I also think they’ve taken advantage of you and suddenly someone bright and shiny has come along the owners are all about them. I’d be devastated to have been future faked. This is horrible and sounds as if the relationship may need to come to an end. You’re under valuing yourself right now. You grew the business to a point, where they could pay you and someone else even if only a day or so a week. The lack of loyalty to you is astounding.

Cherryana · 19/12/2023 03:28

I actually think this is a tough situation, especially as the other employee, has shown hesitation in working collaboratively with you.

For the start up owners they want to maximize their impact whilst minimizing their costs. You have done that effectively for them and because it’s been an area of interest to you. It’s been a win win..now however, it seems like her contacts and experience is of more value to them right now… that’s harsh when you have given so much.

Is there any possibility of you being able to generate your own project for the company?

Try not to dwell on your age - you will get stuck on a negative loop that will not help you..also you are fit and well…that is to be celebrated.

Mummyoflittledragon · 19/12/2023 03:30

Cross post. So they’re paying her 3 days a week when effectively they could have chosen not to take her on and paid you 4… isn’t that the point, when you would have given up your admin job? I’d say you’ve had a lucky escape if they’re this fickle.

Fourecks · 19/12/2023 03:36

I would put the ball in their court for the meeting. Start by saying, 'You brought me on board to help you grow the company. Now that X is working on Project Y, I'd like to hear your plans for how I can help you achieve company growth. I have some thoughts of my own, of course, but I'd like to hear yours first.'

Sit back and don't fill the silence.

Original poster

nightsky69 · 19/12/2023 03:38

@Cherryana Thanks, yes in fact an off spin of the 1 day a week project I've been doing may bring about another project but it won't bring the networking opportunities of the project I was initially lined up to do. What I think I need to try and achieve is to make the Co owners aware of the fact I'd really like them to keep me to some degree as the front of house role they'd always thought I'd be good at...but seem to have forgotten of late!

OP posts:

Original poster

nightsky69 · 19/12/2023 03:41

@Fourecks Thanks. That's great advice to get them to do some talking! I've certainly gone past the point of rolling over.

OP posts:

Original poster

nightsky69 · 19/12/2023 03:45

@Mummyoflittledragon 'Cross post. So they’re paying her 3 days a week when effectively they could have chosen not to take her on and paid you 4… isn’t that the point, when you would have given up your admin job? I’d say you’ve had a lucky escape if they’re this fickle.'

Yes- that was my precise grievance. I'd been waiting so long to get a secure launch pad to ditch the desk job!

OP posts:

Psyberbaby · 19/12/2023 03:48

Do these people actually do any work themselves?

Original poster

nightsky69 · 19/12/2023 03:51

They are both hands on part-time but juggle other businesses...

OP posts:

PivotPivotmakingmargaritas · 19/12/2023 04:31

I’d be thinking long and hard if I wanted to stay. Have a chat with the owners but be prepared to walk away at the moment they have everything nice and pretty someone new with contacts and someone who has been there long term working mostly for free!! Be careful that you aren’t being used

shearwater2 · 19/12/2023 04:37

Set your own business up to rival theirs and work on it it in the time you are not doing the part time job.

piscofrisco · 19/12/2023 05:19

The brutal world of start ups. I work for one. Last week they let two people go out of nowhere (two weeks before Christmas) and then hired four more with other 'skill sets'. Younger and cheaper (and possibly better at talking shite tbh-the business speak is at times beyond parody-each to their own but it's not for me). Im looking for a new job too as I imagine it will be me next-not because im not good at my job but because we 'change direction' every two weeks it seems. I want a job that goes in the same direction for at least a year or so!

Midnightgrey · 19/12/2023 05:30

Paying somebody money is the ultimate recognition of value. These people do not value you and I would leave them to it and/or look for another job. They have traded on your generosity and goodwill and have now found a shiny new toy and given her the work without a second thought.

Soontobe60 · 19/12/2023 05:53

It sounds like they don’t think as highly of you as you do of yourself I’m afraid. If they really thought you fitted in and were good at your job there, they would have done anything to increase your hours. There could be many reasons - your face doesn’t fit, you’re not having as much impact as they’d like, anything. It’s time to move on.

Brird · 19/12/2023 06:12

So this isn't a charity, this company will eventually make money? I really hope they gave you some company equity in exchange for you working for free. If not, I'd be asking for some now.

WinterFoxes · 19/12/2023 06:27

Take your age off your CV. Apply to similar roles elsewhere.

If there is work forthcoming in the place where you volunteeer that uses your specific skillsets, suggest taking it on freelance, paid by the hour or day rate. Give them a time line for when you will need to stop working for free, and without bringing emotion into it, make it clear that this goodwill has to end if there is not future for you as a hired member of the team.

But also, be honest with yourself. If the bew person has greater skills, more availability, professional experience, of course she will get the new project. We don't get jobs by being nice and hsnging around but by being the best person. You may need to widen your skillset and expetience by volunteering elsewhere, or switching your admin job to a company more inline with your ethics

Mummyoflittledragon · 19/12/2023 06:31

Fourecks · 19/12/2023 03:36

Sit back and don't fill the silence.

This is a good plan. And not offer any thoughts at all. If they aren’t valuing you then you need to value yourself more.

@shearwater2 This is perhaps a great suggestion!

Op I can’t begin to understand why you gave them such a great deal of time for free when they aren’t 100% committed to this start up and have other businesses. I really think you’ve allowed them to take advantage of you.

Are these people friends or relations?

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