Job pulled from under my feet

[nightsky69]

Can't quite decide how to handle a situation in my work and would welcome thoughts! I'm a fit and youthful woman in my 50s and have been working in a small start up company in an area of sustainability for the past 2.5 years, initially as a volunteer and then this year was offered a project within the company which paid about a day a week. In order to earn enough to live on I have an admin job too for 3 days a week which is a good job and pays an average salary. I struggle though with full days tied to a desk and computer. I started the job in the area of sustainability because I was passionate about it and it was said on several occasions that as the company grew and had an income stream I would be a central figure in helping 'grow' the company. Out of the blue another, younger person in the same field lost their job and this company handed her an upcoming project which they'd talked about me undertaking. Suddenly my couple of years of volunteering and working so hard to prove myself with the small project gave me seemed to count for nothing. This person came in with some contacts and managed to start talking to the project's funding body so that it seemed logical for them to start work on the project which had been lined up for me. I now find myself feeling so marginalised in a company I'd loved being part of. The company owners I'm pretty sure feel a bit guilty but the newish person seems already to be able to pick and choose the best opportunities and I know wants to keep me at bay. I tried talking to her to see whether we could put our thinking caps on to share some of the project as I know she'd felt gutted when she lost her previous job so might have been empathetic but nothing emerged. I can see my prospects for learning on the job dwindling and networking diminishing. Basically the problem is they now have two women with the same skill sets. After 6 months of festering and feeling gutted about it I've asked for a meeting to discuss my role. I really don't see why the co-owners who I know both like me can't fight my corner and recognise that as they initially brought me in with a speech about helping them grow their company they should at least make sure we both get an equal exposure to key opportunities. I am capable and they and I know this, but my confidence has taken a real knock and when I tried to apply for other jobs in the field, I didn't even get replies, possibly because I'm in my 50s. I feel time is running out for me. Thoughts in how to handle a meeting with co-owners to discuss my role moving forward?

I would also NEVER volunteer for a company. A charity, sure.

Op you have shown them what you think you are worth by giving your time for free. I would only ever do that for a charity.

Look for another paid role elsewhere.

Sustainability is a surprisingly cutthroat area. Volunteering is the main way in, so it's full of people who are either very dedicated or who can afford to work for free, normally some combination of the two. It's also very big on networking and fundraising. It's dominated by people with a lot of social assets, to say the least and not strong on looking after staff. After all, there's always another batch of volunteers.

I'd suggest taking your considerable experience and looking for a paid job

It's not a sustainable job role. You could have given up your other paid role for what's essentially a short term contract.

It's a business and they will ultimately do what's best for the business not the individual employees.

There's nothing wrong with having a meeting and asking to discuss your long term prospects but it sounds like they don't have much to offer you. I'd probably look for something else instead.

This ⬆️

The company have demonstrated that they do not value you and won’t provide you with what you want. It’s time to focus on looking for a job in the area you want to work in, seeking interview feedback when unsuccessful and working on it until you land the role you want

You mentioned the other person came in with contacts. Do you mean as a way in at the company eg she knows the bosses personally or do you mean contacts outside the company that will be valuable for the project she's working on? Either way I think that's your answer.

@Mummyoflittledragon I gave them so much time because it's in an area that I was initially so new to and could have done expensive courses or just learned on the job with volunteering which I enjoyed - It's in a beautiful rural setting. It's not all bad and they did hand me a paid project within a year or so. It's a good daily rate but I've probably done double the hours and some involves quite heavy research. In doing that work successfully and in seeing the new person they've brought in being taken seriously by others as a good 'talker' (but with little more in depth experience than me) and also realising the skill sets I've acquired over 30 years of having other project based jobs are transferable, I'm now feeling much more confident about defending my worth when this meeting I've asked for happens.

Startups are notorious for this kind of thing. They aren't really a source for long term stable work. It's more like, keep looking on the horizon for the next opportunity before you leave your current role. This is true across many industries and not something to take personally.

While I agree with many of these replies, I do wonder if you're guilty of ageism yourself OP. You have described the new person as young as if that means inexperienced except you admit that her role involves fundraising and she has excellent contacts. Networks and contacts is what a lot of fundraising is all about.

@mummyh2016 in answer to your question about her contacts: she came in with a project that my company could potentially undertake with her and concurrently began to find out about the project I'd been lined up to do and positioned herself brilliantly for that so I was subtly dropped from the running. My question is more how I handle this meeting. A good outcome would be for me to feel heard, respected and for them to bring something to the table that shows that they see me as an important and valued part of the company.

Honestly this.

So did they just give this woman the job without advertising and interviewing for the role? It seems odd that they haven’t followed usual employment protocol there, did you have any opportunity to apply for the job? Although it’s not a legal requirement to advertise and interview for roles within a company it is bad practise, do you feel you’ve been discriminated against based on your age compared to hers?

@MolkosTeenageAngst What seems to have happened was that when the other person got involved with the funding body they thought she could do it without realising my company had already lined me up. Then when they all clearly had a conflab and I just think I sort of got forgotten about or my company thought they could weave me back in a later stage without realising possibly how much importance I'd given to this potential project. To be fair they now know how hurt I've been and have been trying to create a role within it but I'm definitely being squeezed out by the other person and I don't think they are being strong enough about insisting with the newer employee that this needs to be more collaborative out of fairness...

To be honest, I can see why she doesn’t wish to share it with you. She’d also trying to create a role for herself. To show her worth, I suspect it is not something two people need to lead, and it will ne clear you want her job. I can also see why you want her to share with you.

she is not the issue, do not display yourself as jealous and wanting her work. You now need to focus on what work you can do which is not hers.

Maybe I'm struggling to visualise how it all happened, but do you think at any point you could have been more assertive? Eg when she started sniffing around your project, being like "Laura, any ideas feel free to send my way but I've got this one under control, no need to worry about it". Being more proactive in communicating with the owners to assert your ownership of the project, etc

And is it too late to try and take back ownership now?

Walk away and get yourself another role. Start ups are notoriously fickle and often play the game - intentionally or otherwise.

Invest in some good careers advice, get your CV reviewed and work through with a careers coach what sort of roles you would be successful in. Two sessions with a good coach will be worth its weight in gold.

Also bear in mind you now have experience in both sustainable businesses and in start ups... as well as your previous experience. Depending on where you live this could be a huge advantage in the job market.

The op never had ownership, the woman wasn’t sniffing round her project. Management allocated it to her. It is the op sniffing round the woman’s project,

Honestly it doesn't sound as though there isn't enough work for 2 people. To be honest the fact that you were volunteering for so long sounds like there wasn't enough work for one person for a while. From a business perspective it is shitty how you've been treated however as harsh as it sounds they'd have been mad to have turned this other person away with what she has brought to the business in terms of work.
I don't know if you build up any employment rights as a volunteer, if you do then that's a different story.

My view is you need to take a stand. If this couple try and fob you off, then you need to leave. Actions speak louder than words. At the moment this couple are not doing anything because you are working hard and they are letting this other person do the project lined up for you because she has contacts and a network that will bring the project benefits. They don't care about your role, as their business is growing by this other woman being there.

OP I meant to add in my last reply - go in confident but don't get your hopes up as I don't think this is going to go the way you would like.

I used to work in the SMT of a start up, and it would have been so easy to fall into this situation. There was a sense of emergency all the time, and that we just all need to pull together until the Big Opportunity hits. People’s energy and enthusiasm were taken for granted. Finances were close to the bone so it felt like when employees asked for a raise or a new project they were taking the money/ opportunity from someone else. It took a lot of energy and boundary keeping to steer us away from this mindset, which can feel exciting but is ultimately exploitative

What I’m trying to say is that I think the management has acted in an entirely predictable but bad way. They might be able to offer you something at work to compensate for this specific instance of bad behaviour but the root culture will still prevail. To counter it, you need to know your worth - as you say, you have lots of transferable skills. Although they gave you some experience you don’t need to feel grateful. It might feel like they are the only ones doing this exciting thing at the moment, but they’re not. Look around for other options - not so you will take them necessarily, but just so you know you can leave

I think this is probably quite common practice in a lot of small businesses, especially new ones who are still trying to “make it”. They may or may not value their staff but their ultimate goal is to make money, so despite your hours of volunteering, her contacts and experience is of more value to the company right now and so they see that as the worthwhile investment.

Every doormat has "welcome" written on it.

I think you need to emotionally disconnect from these people and prepare yourself to move on.

I was once in your position, was promised more hours and responsibilities, even an eventual directorship, when working for a small startup. I did loads of extra work for free. It was not valued, and the promise of an increased wage never materialised - instead, 2 extra people were hired and responsibilities were taken away from me.

When I finally realised I was being taken for a ride, I started looking elsewhere and immediately realised my own worth in the job market. I increased my income substantially as a result and haven't looked back.

A job is not worth anything more than what they pay you, in the end. Don't give your time to them for free.