Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Work

Chat with other users about all things related to working life on our Work forum.

Original poster

Two job offers

51 replies

Spongeb0b · 17/12/2023 11:14

Have to make a decision by tomorrow. Both similar fields. Job A: 10k more than job B and current job, a promotion, lots of scope for progression but probably as far as I'd want to progress anyway, interesting and challenging. Hideous and expensive commute. Talking 2 hours each way. No homeworking and no flexibility (believe me I've tried negotiating) Job B: not a promotion. Less money and seniority than job A. More money than current job still as more hours. Still decent scope for progression though, interesting and challenging, Flexi time and the ability to almost exclusively WFH.

Basically my dilemma is do I swap the 10k pay rise (this will go up each year whereas post B will go up a bit, but then stop unless I go for promotion) for more of a sideways move which will give me flexibility and WFH. I have 3 children so this is hugely appealing. Both jobs very good in terms of security, pensions etc. Thanks for any help deciding!

OP posts:
ElGrump · 17/12/2023 11:33

I do an hour commute. There is absolutely no way I could cope with 2 hours each way. That sounds absolutely horrific.

Can I suggest you go onto the website "listen to the taxman" and it will tell you what your take home pay is for both jobs. 10k more may not actually work out at that much more per month. So you might find that, with the expensive commute, rules that job out anyway.

idontlikealdi · 17/12/2023 11:54

B. 4 hours commuting a day for A? How much does that cost?

Original poster
Spongeb0b · 17/12/2023 11:54

Agreed. I know eventually we could move closer etc if I loved the job, but this would be further in to the future. I think the commute would kill me. It's a very awkward one too, not a straightforward sit on a train with your laptop type one. It's technically 1 hour 40 min but that's assuming everything runs on time/turns up etc. (I would need to travel via public transport). I could get a lift some days but not reliably.

OP posts:
Original poster
Spongeb0b · 17/12/2023 11:57

The commuting costs would be doable - it's more how faffy the actual travelling would be and it would definitely be costly to my sanity 🤣 it is a brilliant job - I just keep thinking I worked so hard at interview and I'm effectively turning down a great promotion for another sideways move. But I would definitely be gaining in terms of work life balance with job B

OP posts:
strawberry2017 · 17/12/2023 12:02

Job B for me. I couldn't cope with that commute.

5thCommandment · 17/12/2023 12:02

Spongeb0b · 17/12/2023 11:14

Have to make a decision by tomorrow. Both similar fields. Job A: 10k more than job B and current job, a promotion, lots of scope for progression but probably as far as I'd want to progress anyway, interesting and challenging. Hideous and expensive commute. Talking 2 hours each way. No homeworking and no flexibility (believe me I've tried negotiating) Job B: not a promotion. Less money and seniority than job A. More money than current job still as more hours. Still decent scope for progression though, interesting and challenging, Flexi time and the ability to almost exclusively WFH.

Basically my dilemma is do I swap the 10k pay rise (this will go up each year whereas post B will go up a bit, but then stop unless I go for promotion) for more of a sideways move which will give me flexibility and WFH. I have 3 children so this is hugely appealing. Both jobs very good in terms of security, pensions etc. Thanks for any help deciding!

Personally I would stay where you are and keep looking. You don't need move. 2hrs commute is insane without any home working. 10k doesn't compensate that, and I wouldn't take Job B as the pay increase is low.
A move is supposed to enhance your life. A big commute will cost a lot more, so the 10k goes down a lot. If it was 10k work from home 4-5 days a week, then I'd take it, but you're getting shafted here.

Keep looking, find that Goldilocks role.I'm a high earner and nothing on this earth would make me do 2hrs each way.
Red flag anyway as they clearly don't care about your commute issue and compromise.

calamariqueen · 17/12/2023 12:07

Job B 100%

commuting doesn’t always go to plan & with 3 kids the headache & extra stress of reorganising everything when you’re held up just isn’t worth the £10k. Depending on your tax bracket that £10k could come down to £6k which would probably only pay your commuting costs….

I couldn’t work for anyone that inflexible.

Taking job B doesn’t mean you have to stop looking/applying for new roles & could help negotiate better terms in the future.

whyamiawakestill · 17/12/2023 12:08

Neither, unless your current role is awful.

The first one sounds totally unsuitable and they don't sounds like a great employer with zero flexibility.

The 2nd one doesn't advance you?

Why are you moving and could you keep looking? Also congratulations on 2 job offers, amazing.

Original poster
Spongeb0b · 17/12/2023 12:09

Originally I only had job offer A and was in absolute turmoil as I need to earn more money than I can where I am since the cost of everything has gone up. So I think it was a bit of a can I afford not to take this job despite the commute. Plus I'm starting to feel stagnated at work. Job B definitely feels like I'm taking a sideways if not slightly backwards step - but the thought of WFH and Flexi - I think it would be life changing. And as I say - the increase in hours which would be doable because of the homeworking means it would still work out that I'd be earning more than I do as in my current job as while I'm FTE is technically slightly more, I'm pro-rata'd to death.

OP posts:
Original poster
Spongeb0b · 17/12/2023 12:10

Sorry for the typos there! Hopefully you all got the gist though x

OP posts:
emsyj37 · 17/12/2023 12:12

Take job A and grit your teeth for 12 months then move. Getting the promotion and pay rise will make it easier to move on to a similarly senior and well paid role elsewhere. Nothing has to be for ever, do it short term to get ahead. That's what I would do.

Partypop · 17/12/2023 12:14

I would always pick the job with no commute, even for less money - that’s just my individual circumstance though, I wouldn’t physically be able to manage a 2 hour commute, I would be too late to pick child up from after school club 🤷‍♀️…WFH is brilliant with young kids, how old are yours OP?

Partypop · 17/12/2023 12:15

I would always pick the job with no commute, even for less money - that’s just my individual circumstance though, I wouldn’t physically be able to manage a 2 hour commute, I would be too late to pick child up from after school club 🤷‍♀️…WFH is brilliant with young kids, how old are yours OP?

qpdlurgak · 17/12/2023 12:17

B. The money in comparison to A is somewhat moot if it's going to enable you to progress anyway? I wouldn't stay in a dead end job for the sake of flexibility as I am career orientated, but as B offers you flexibility and progression it's a no brainer for me.

FizzyStream · 17/12/2023 12:18

Job B without a doubt imo. Can see why you're tempted by job A but with three kids I'd much prefer the flexibility and as a pp said the promotion pay increase may not actually work out being worth the extra aggro.

CremeBrunette · 17/12/2023 12:22

I did a 2hr commute each way when I first started working. I was young, no responsibilities and it was horrible. My relationship struggled. I managed 18 months in that job. At 21 with no other commitments. I have a long commute now but I have flexi and WFH so I don’t do it very often, it’s manageable occasionally but not everyday.

Are you actually sure the £10K is a pay rise by the time you take into account train fares? Don’t forget train fares will go up every January without fail, even if your pay doesn’t. Have you worked out how much extra per month that £10k is? It sounds a lot but when you take into account tax, pension, NI (student loan) and commuting costs it might not cover your increased bills anyway. But then you’ll be too knackered to consider an evening job or spend time with your family. Your partner won’t be able to take on extra work because you won’t be home to take care of the kids.

Original poster
Spongeb0b · 17/12/2023 12:25

Kids are 4, 6 and 12. Youngest hasn't started school yet but has her 30 hours funded nursery. At the moment I work 3.5 days as it's all I can manage childcare wise but job B allows total flexibility between 7am and 7pm and you can log on and off in between those times. I was 😯 when they told me this haha. I would be full time in the new one but if it ended up unmanageable I could put in a flexible working request to go part time. I've been told level of seniority in post A is such that I would be expected to be there 9-5 Mon-Fri

OP posts:
DramaAlpaca · 17/12/2023 12:43

Job B. A commute that long is soul destroying, even with no children. I know, I used to do it. An hour and a half on a good day, over two hours on a bad one. Awful. Once children are on the scene flexibility is everything. The costs of travel will eat up a fair bit of the extra pay too.

WavingCatsandDogs · 17/12/2023 12:48

Is commute driving or public transport? I could only do a commute like that if it was one train ride where I was guaranteed a seat,

B - you'd be crazy to do A!

MrsWimpy · 17/12/2023 13:18

Thing is, you said it's actually 40 minutes but you are factoring in worst case scenario.

I'd go for A, get the experience and the title and then move in 12 months.

Can you get a car and drive the commute? Likely to be less unpredictable than public transport

MrsWimpy · 17/12/2023 13:19

Oh sorry- just seen it's actually 1 hour 40 minutes. It's a lot but it depends how much difference £10k will make.

I just moved jobs for a £10k raise and it is pretty life changing.

Original poster
Spongeb0b · 17/12/2023 13:29

Haha yeah its 1 hour 40 BEST case scenario not 40 mins. (I've currently got a 50 min commute each way so long-ish but it's a very straightforward one, job A commute relies on two modes of interconnecting transport and then quite a hefty walk.) No chance of a car in the near future but eventually yes, hopefully.

OP posts:
Original poster
Spongeb0b · 17/12/2023 13:30

There's also the issue of job A would mean more relying on family (or paid wrap around) childcare, whereas job B, while I'd be increasing my hours, due to the WFH I would need less childcare than I currently need working part time

OP posts:
Whataretheodds · 17/12/2023 13:32

B.

You'll flex your muscles in a different way, the next move will feel less scary, it will open up to new possibilities not just within this organisation, including possibly promotion without the hideous commute.

Hipnotised · 17/12/2023 14:17

Job B, no question.

I used to do an hour and a half commute each way, when I left i realisd how much better I could spend three hours a day!

With three children, the autonomy to wfh and with flexi your life will be immeasurably easier all round.