I realised yesterday I should have retired years ago

[AzureBlue99]

I am 58 years old.

I love fashion, taking care of myself, I am engaged with life, I do stuff. I am happy, like a laugh and not a downer. I am not a beige person.

I am not a high flier but I have done okay for myself. However, can't afford to retire - financially woke up too late to realise I should have been building a bigger retirement pot*

I have no issue with getting older. I enjoy the invisibility to men aspect - that brought nothing but hassle. I am long time married, with absolutely no interest in men apart from as colleagues and^ acquaintances.

But, yesterday, in a meeting, I realise that I am now invisible to everyone apart from women my own age. Male colleagues I used to chat to gave no eye contact unless I "forced" them to by addressing them. Their eyes looked straight through me.There has been no angst, it is just I am now older and no longer worth talking to. Younger females are not much better. I speak up in a meeting but sometimes it is like I haven't spoken.^

I am there, but like a chair is there. Somewhat useful when you need a chair, but pushed to the corner most of^ the time. I haven't had a lot of face to face meetings recently, mainly Teams, so the meeting yesterday brought it up in sharp relief. I am no longer relevant (don't even want to be work wise, happy to let others shine) but why am I irrelevant as a person? I came home, felt down about it. Had a good sleep, woke up angry.

Why should getting older mean you no longer merit any interest at all? I know things have changed. I know older people feel marginalised by society in a lot of ways. But I never expected to have my confidence swiped away by something I cannot help, and that happens to us all, ageing.

The title of this thread - I genuinely think I should have retired three years ago. That seems to be the sweet spot before you are disregarded completely and just there rather than being a vital cog in the wheel. I was okay about getting older, and resigned to working for longer than I wanted to, but now it all feels depressing and damaging to my confidence in facing the future.

Thanks for reading. Just wanted to set this down. I went to sleep with it on my mind, and woke up and it was still there.

I am interested in others views on this, can this be rectified. I have read the excellent book called Hags before, is there any other essential reading?
^

*Anyone reading this in their 20s and 30s - if you can in these tough times build up a pension, please prioritise it. Life is for living but it has a habit of moving on fast and before you know it you are seeking 60 in the near distance. And when you get there it is good to have options.

For those of you who don’t recognise this situation or who believe they get in well with ‘older women’ - do not be fooled

It will happen to you one day - I have a number of colleagues in this age bracket - their greatest frustrations are around being treated as a dinosaur
culturally we think of older men as a catch but it’s different for women ( they used to burn old ‘wise women’)
For some women it’s the mental load, for some menopause ( we stop people pleasing and see the bullshit better), for some it’s the sandwich generation, for some it’s the constant change and technological updates that have to be learnt - the list is endless

There is a real problem in this country of women leaving the workforce ‘early’ - burnt out and pissed off
I am sure at some point this will be recognised but too late for me. I had to laugh at the push for menopause policies after years of getting on with it

At our doom do we ignore the issues older women face in the workplace

At my school we have had three ‘young guns’ come in at SLT level. No kids and willing to be at school from 7am to 7pm. The Head loves this injection of energy which has just added to teacher workload as they all have new ideas being rolled.

There is little input from teachers early 50s plus who are defo seen as expensive and past it.

I'm with you @AzureBlue99
Desperate to retire tomorrow and I'm not 60 yet. I can't bear the utter bullshit from the gen zeds and the millenniums who believe the world revolves round them. 'Who parked in my spot?' is from one Gen Zed nearly every day who believes it's her spot