Had a breakdown at work

[NotDoingOk]

This might not make sense but I don't want to include too much extra detail, and I haven't slept in a while.

My manager has been aware for a while that I have been struggling with my mental health and that I had needed to access medication and therapy. I think they understood that things at work had contributed to that stress.

Yesterday I had a phone call with my boss where they said people on the team had been "made to feel uncomfortable" by a conversation I had in the office and that they would have to involve the area manager.

The conversation they referred to was me explaining a situation where someone had become upset and that I had sent a whole team email to address what had upset them.

I was so upset that I said I would just resign. I said I didn't want people to feel uncomfortable because of me and that I hated to think that people had felt the need to go speak to management about me. It was like the last straw that just pushed me over the edge and I couldn't cope anymore.

The boss said that was my choice and they didn't want anyone to have the impression that I had been sacked or forced to resign because of the situation.

I called in sick today so I could try to sleep and access mental health support. I'm broken hearted. I loved the job. My performance reviews have been consistently positive, and during the conversation the manager said that I was the most knowledgeable and experienced member of the team.

But I can't see any way forward now. I don't know what to do next.

Kindly, it does read a bit like you offered to resign in the hopes they would say no! Please don't do that! Or something. Which has backfired a little.

By demonstrating a lack of resilience and intention to take the feedback on the chin they are probably not arsed if you stay or go now.

If your not allowed to express areas where you feel more support would be welcomed I think the issue is with management tbh. Maybe it was the setting but still sounds like a poor manager.

No, I wasn't playing when I said I'd resign. I knew from that moment that the relationship with the manager was not tenable going forward. So my options became leave the team or leave the organisation.

It's true that I demonstrated a lack of resilience and they may not want to retain me in another team.

But if a post is vacant and I'm qualified to fill it, then the burden is on them to demonstrate why I'm not suitable. They have to follow the same application and interview process that they do for every other candidate.

I don't agree with being unable to take feedback. If I'm given feedback about something I can change, I'm happy to do it.

If the feedback is something nebulous like "your coworkers said they were made to feel uncomfortable by a thing you said", that's not as straightforward. I know exactly what I said, and that it factual and not nasty or demeaning.

I could have avoided mentioning the email, and left people wondering why I sent a reminder to respect each other's work spaces and whether it was about them.

Or I could have not sent the email. In which case I would have just let someone kick off at me for something I didn't do without any response until it comes out in a one to one months from now.

No great options.

I think you've done the right thing for you, OP.

Work place stress can be really detrimental when things outside of work aren't great either.

I hope the transfer works out.