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Original poster

Handing my notice in after 20 years

40 replies

shortsaint · 03/12/2023 13:54

Advice please. This is my plan for tomorrow. I'm in a job I have been doing for 20 years which I used to thoroughly enjoy - with a great team. At heart I still love it and believe in its core values (it's a reputable not for profit organisation).

I'm a senior manager.. A couple of years ago we had a new, dreadful leader. That person has run down the organisation to a shadow of its former self. My colleagues and I are being, frankly, used by this person to cover their own inadequacies. Push came to shove last week and I'm fairly certain I am being blamed for something not of my making. Chinese whispers are running amok and I haven't slept for weeks. I am a capable person but more stressed than I have ever been.

I earn a decent salary, have never been in unemployment since I was 22 (I am 55). Help!

We've just paid off the mortgage which is reassuring, but still have many overheads. I have no other job to go to. There's 3 months notice and I will hunt for something (and, I'd happily take min wage work to keep the wolf from the door). I just can't do it any more.

Am I going to regret this just for 5 minutes of 'f you'?

OP posts:
Babyroobs · 03/12/2023 13:58

I think you need to think very carefully. I did this a couple of years ago as was sick of management and it did take me a few months to find something else and even then it was a temporary job. I was 53. I do think it gets harder as you get older but it sounds like you have a lot of skills and experience. I appreciate how hard it is when it's taking a toll on your mental health / not sleeping etc, I have been in this situation twice in the past few years and just walked out of the job both times as could not hack it anymore.

Neriah · 03/12/2023 14:00

Possibly. I'd say get another job first, then quit. If you can't afford to live without a reasonable income, the risk is high that you'll regret it and have no way back. And it's harder to get a job once you have no job. 3 months isn't all that long and will go very quickly. Especially since pretty much nobody is hiring right now, and for weeks after Christmas. At least 1/3rd of your notice period is a workplace black hole....

MikeRafone · 03/12/2023 14:03

3 months notice is a long time for a minimum wage job waiting for you to be starting

I left full time employment about 12/18 months ago and haven't looked back, I haven't got a mortgage and my overheads aren't high, they are minimum bills tbh

I do a couple of NMW jobs and have a couple of side hustles. Interestingly Ive had much more income than I thought I would.

I am so much happier

Snowpake · 03/12/2023 14:05

you clearly need to leave, but I’m not sure this is the way to do it. If you quit you will be scapegoated for whatever they are trying to pin on you anyway.

in your shoes I would mentally check out and spend all my time networking / looking for other jobs. As soon as you get one (January is a good time to look) you can leave in the most spectacular f-you fashion of your choosing

trulyunruly01 · 03/12/2023 14:16

All your former colleagues will presume you were guilty of whatever you say you're being scapegoated for. 20 years of reputation gone without any semblance of a fight back from you?
Go in tomorrow determined to put this back in its box. Take the wind out of their sails. Go to see the people who matter and simply tell them you won't be taking the rap and tell them why and who is actually to blame. If they won't listen then go to their boss.
Surely that's better than skulking around for the next 3 months with all eyes upon you.

OhComeOnFFS · 03/12/2023 14:21

Have you explained to HR why you're going? I think I would do that before going. It's horrendous that you've been put in that situation.

Lizzieregina · 03/12/2023 14:36

In your position, I’d start looking for a new job before I resigned from the old one. At 55 it could be harder to find something decent. Ageism is alive and well unfortunately. And I wouldn’t give 3 months notice if I found something that was going to be good for me.

In the meantime you could make sure you’re not blamed for whatever happened, and with a bit of luck, the actual idiot might feel the pressure to resign themselves and you can stay!

archerzz · 03/12/2023 14:43

Do NOT leave without having another job lined up!! There is nothing more risky than being an unemployed mid 50's woman looking for a job.

user628468523532453 · 03/12/2023 15:13

Find a new job first. Resigning without one will feel good for five minutes then cause even more stress.

Once you've made the decision to find something new, it'll be easier not to care about what's happening in your current place.

BetsyBobbins · 03/12/2023 15:50

If I may be blunt, you are spectacularly stupid to leave a job without having found another one beforehand at 55 years old.

Having said that, some jobs ruin your health and make you ill, only you know how this whole situation is making you feel.

Going by what you said, I'd wait and see what happens because you have grounds for a constructive dismissal case in the future. Document absolutely everything: emails, conversations, documents, all of it. Id suggest going to your GP tomorrow and ask to be signed off for a few weeks due to stress and while you're off you might ponder your next steps (also being off sick may count in your favour in a future court case).

ManchesterGirl2 · 03/12/2023 15:53

Do you have any savings? With a 3 month notice period, that's a decent length of time to search for jobs. I'd get outside advice on CV and interview skills, those will probably be a bit rusty after 20 years at one organisation.

Calling · 03/12/2023 16:00

I would:
Keep a log of what he says and does. Keep log at home.
Cover your back with emails.
Join the union, if one or consult a specialist employment solicitor.
Look at ACAS website.
Not resign without a plan.
Think about your reference.

MissBuffyAnneSummers · 03/12/2023 16:03

Can you hang in till Christmas.

New year is the best time of the year to look for a new job.

Loads come on the market due to people leaving off the back of new year resolutions.

Beckafett · 03/12/2023 16:06

I'd take some time off sick with work related stress whilst you weigh up your options and job search.
Would they consider paying you off do you think?

MmedeGouge · 03/12/2023 17:11

Calling · 03/12/2023 16:00

I would:
Keep a log of what he says and does. Keep log at home.
Cover your back with emails.
Join the union, if one or consult a specialist employment solicitor.
Look at ACAS website.
Not resign without a plan.
Think about your reference.

Good advice.

Do not be too hasty with your decision.
Could you take some sick leave instead? It sounds like you have been facing intolerable pressure.

Blanketpolicy · 03/12/2023 17:16

Can you look for an alternative internal role?

20 years of security from redundancy is a lot to walk away from (but I am quite risk adverse)

Sallycinnamum · 03/12/2023 17:24

Tempting though it is OP I really wouldn't do this without a job to go to let alone the fact you've got 20 years service so if redundancy did happen you'd get a reasonably decent pay out.

As a similar aged woman who luckily works in an industry where it values older workers (at the moment anyway) things would have to be near catastrophic for me to hand my notice in without another job to go to.

blabla2023 · 03/12/2023 17:25

The timing is really bad. Not many companies hire in january/february, so your 3 months will be up before can even start to look properly…..

bananablues · 03/12/2023 17:28

I would try and find another job first & then resign- you might be able to negotiate a reduction of the three month notice.

MsRosewater · 03/12/2023 17:35

Calling · 03/12/2023 16:00

I would:
Keep a log of what he says and does. Keep log at home.
Cover your back with emails.
Join the union, if one or consult a specialist employment solicitor.
Look at ACAS website.
Not resign without a plan.
Think about your reference.

Good advice! Also

1- make sure you're on linked in. I hate it, it's cringey toe curling etc but useful
2- get in touch with / send your CV to
head hunters
3-boldly approach consultancies and tout your wares and
4-if you're not great on self promotion seek feedback from allies at work about your strengths.. again more cringe

fruitbrewhaha · 03/12/2023 17:36

No I wouldn’t. Have you got leave booked over Christmas? There’s only
two weeks until schools break up and nothing happens until January. Just take some time off and hang on until the new year. Then job hunt. If they are trying to push you out ask for redundancy.

MsRosewater · 03/12/2023 17:38

Also have you a case for a grievance and/ or whistle blowing if this is a pattern of behaviour?

Certainly more stress and needs careful consideration but it's outrageous that these individuals get away with this shit!

ohdelay · 03/12/2023 17:38

Don't leave without securing another position. Bad idea.

fishfingersandchipsagain · 03/12/2023 17:39

I agree with everyone else - finals another job first.

In the nicest possible way … your big resignation is a big statement for you because you have been there so long. They will barely blink.

If you feel that you are being made to leave you m have a case for constructive dismissal- but still better to have another job first.

Roselilly36 · 03/12/2023 17:40

I agree with PP, if you need an income, don’t leave until you have a secure job to go too. Who’s to say the person that is making your job miserable won’t move on quickly? I may be worth having a word with HR. Good luck OP Flowers