Handing my notice in after 20 years

[shortsaint]

Advice please. This is my plan for tomorrow. I'm in a job I have been doing for 20 years which I used to thoroughly enjoy - with a great team. At heart I still love it and believe in its core values (it's a reputable not for profit organisation).

I'm a senior manager.. A couple of years ago we had a new, dreadful leader. That person has run down the organisation to a shadow of its former self. My colleagues and I are being, frankly, used by this person to cover their own inadequacies. Push came to shove last week and I'm fairly certain I am being blamed for something not of my making. Chinese whispers are running amok and I haven't slept for weeks. I am a capable person but more stressed than I have ever been.

I earn a decent salary, have never been in unemployment since I was 22 (I am 55). Help!

We've just paid off the mortgage which is reassuring, but still have many overheads. I have no other job to go to. There's 3 months notice and I will hunt for something (and, I'd happily take min wage work to keep the wolf from the door). I just can't do it any more.

Am I going to regret this just for 5 minutes of 'f you'?

I left a very well known company after longer than this and don’t regret it for a second. Do you want a job that pays the same? However I found a job BEFORE I left.. very smug I was too. They pestered the life out of me to do a leaving survey and despite ignoring it they kept reminding me so I told the truth.

Offshoring wasn’t working and managers were covering their own backsides. Needless to say I heard nothing back! We were told to stay in Travelodges and when I refused to stay at the side of the motorway in one I ended up driving 500 miles in one day.

Do it particularly as you’re happy to take a lower paid job for a bit.

A friend of mine quit her stressful job with no other job lined up and she’s now working 20 hours a week for £11 an hour but she’s so much happier in herself. She knows long term she’ll have to find another full time job at some point but for now she’s enjoying the time off and low stress job.

I've been sick of management for 43 years OP, I'm 61. My current job is fine but previous managers have clearly been sociopaths.
I ignore it all these days - it just all goes over my head. I just don't give one shiny shit.
I'd hang on in there until you get another job or you will regret it. You just never know what is round the corner and if anything terrible happens you will have no job.

If you resign you look guilty. I would stay for a while and fight it out - make sure you get ahead of the rumours, have it out with the boss and make sure you document it and know that you have nothing to lose by being honest because you are looking for another job. If you resign now, people will believe what is being said about you.

I feel your pain as a similar thing happened to me at a school I had worked in for 25 years. It was such a special place and I always thought they would carry me out of there in my coffin until a truly dreadful new head teacher, promoted way beyond their capabilities, took over- complete control freak twinned with blinding incompetence.

This head used to give the most gobsmackingly ridiculous advice on how to "improve" lessons when they had absolutely no knowledge or understanding of the needs of the pupils I taught. This head pissed off all the good teachers ( who left) and didn't follow through with the development of weaker teachers- just awful. They did rather have it in for me as I think they knew I saw through them and was confident in my abilities to challenge them. In the end I had to go as it was just destroying me.

It broke my heart that this head had single handedly destroyed a wonderful school but actually it was the best thing for me leaving. I was qualified in a very niche teaching speciality and was offered two jobs almost immediately. The one I turned down called me three times begging me to reconsider.

I worked in another school for a few years and then worked for a local authority as a special advisor which was simply my favourite job.

It's very, very hard leaving somewhere you are so emotionally attached to but for me it was the very best thing I could have done. Absolutely no regrets.

Agree with others that it would be foolish to leave without having something else lined up. I wish you the very best of luck! 🍀

This seems like a bad idea. I think you should find your next role before you resign as it can take time to find some Guam's then get past all the checks etc to start. Most companies wait for you to finish your notice.

Thank you for your wise words. I left this and disappeared to the cinema to forget about it for a bit.

I have considered. I put these down as my pledges.,.

I may be being hasty. It is 3 weeks to Christmas then I have a week off. Why waste that on notice period?

I have already been to the docs and she said she would sign me off sick in the circumstances. We get good leave (though I NEVER take it) so that's an idea for Jan as I weigh up options.

I will NOT take the blame for something I have not done. I will arrange a 1-1 tomorrow with the person involved (way senior to me, Board level). I've nothing (much!) to lose.

I will use some of THEIR time documenting the crap going on.

I will reconsider in Jan. And take a look at LinkedIn and Indeed (barf, I am not one for self promotion even though I know these days it's all out there. Part of the problems with these bluffers I think?)

THANK YOU.

And I saw Napoleon. I will fight on...

I'm possibly projecting but this seems to describe my org. I wonder if the leader's surname begins with L.

@Big515 No, but sorry it's happening to you too.

Where are all the inspirational
Leaders? I would walk on coals for someone I admired and respected but there appear to be an increasing amount of absolute incompetents out there.

I have really good skills, qualifications, and experience and am the same age as you. I'm also looking for another job as the managers where I currently work should all come with a glow in the dark toxic waste warning. But from the tiny bit of job hunting I've done in the last few months I know not to leave until I have a job to go to. I have always found it fairly easy to get another job until I hit 55. Ironic when I have at least another 12 years of work ahead of me until I can claim a pension.... so I would say don't quit until you have a new job unless you're a nurse or other very high shortage profession.

I'd just tell them to stick the job.

I've done it previously and it's very liberating.

You've three months and no mortgage! If it's making you so stressed then do it!

And I'm a similar age to you!!!!

@shortsaint new year, new you.

Good luck with your meeting. However do not go into a meeting with a senior person without evidence of your issue. Personally, I would do this via the grievance procedure so that your issues will not be raised with your manager by the more senior person before you meet with them. You need to create a legitimate reason for them to meet with you without your manager raising a complaint they have done so without informing them (ironic, but possible). Ask for HR to be in the room when you meet. Take a folder, label up your examples of the issue and make it clear the toll it is taking on your health. Be very clear about what you need to continue to carry out your job. After 20 years of unblemished service, they will know it is unlikely to be you who is the issue, and you might just have the evidence they need to sort out your manager.

Best of luck!

Get another job first. It's better for you mentally.

I wouldn't jump into leaving - 20 years gives you a lot of leeway! I wonder could you play the system somehow and take redundancy?

Where are all the inspirational
Leaders? I would walk on coals for someone I admired and respected but there appear to be an increasing amount of absolute incompetents out there.

I used to be a manager. People always told me I was the best/one of the best managers they had had. Senior manager came in who talked a good game and was incredibly manipulative - and lazy and incompetent. Drove out good managers, and replaced them with people who would not challenge her or be able to identify the problems in what she was doing. At one point my union was involved because I was being systematically frozen out of discussions and decision making. I finally decided it was bullshit and I was not going to do it any more, stepped down from the team (very senior manager did not want me to but had done f all to help even though he could see what was happening). It was the best thing I ever did. I felt bad for the people I used to manage, some of whom were really disappointed. But my MH was more important.