Q1: nope not an issue if mum and boss not friends. Very point is though that they are. Ever thought why boss is aloof with mum? Maybe because she doesn’t like being in position of her professional persona being under microscope of you and your mum, especially in areas of HR management or performance issues. Even if you were raving to mum about what a great boss she is. Bloody uncomfortable and high likelihood of loosing a friendship. I’d have raised a conflict of interest in managing you, if I was close friends with your mum.
Q2. Might help if you read employment law. All companies HR policies are based on that for barest essentials. some companies go above that, but rare. Compassionate leave in law is restricted to “dependents” and emergency leave examples given as death of dependent, employee being sick, urgent hospital admissions, etc.
Law doesn’t include cats. Or pets. Or animals. Law doesn’t regard pets as dependents. In fact law is very strong on independence of cats, particularly, with their effective “right to roam “ , something that children are not afforded - it is likely to be viewed as neglect in their case.
and yes I’d put child care above cat care every single time. As does the law. The law states, since 1996, that parents or guardians are allowed emergency leave to care for “dependent” child. Their child. No cats or pets mentioned in that either
sadly, under current law, your aunt or cousin are also not classed as “dependants” either (unless you were your cousins legal guardian), so in asking for time off you are already likely to be out of most companies policies for unplanned emergency leave. So you need to position it carefully.
if you were unwell and unable to work because of these sad events, the only other approach would be to be signed off by GP. or more likely in your case self certify.
when positioning a request for time out, use your company policies and the law. You are right to state (which I did say clearly) you can’t miss your first session. Been to therapy myself for PTSD and it’s important not to miss any. Take evidence of appointment, state you have looked at alternative times/ providers buts it’s not possible, go with a plan of how you can make it work to minimise impact on business (which you outlined nicely). Putting it in writing also helps next time.
In the example you gave re your aunt, I’d have put it in terms that whilst not a legal “dependant” that the relationship was close and your cousin had immediate needs only you could meet. Id state clewrly the flexibility I’d given to company to help out in emergencies, banked hours etc, and how I would committ to do that in future. I’d present a business case in effect of why them being flexible would pay off in long term in terms of my commitment back to them. again I’d write it out and send as email. I’d not have mentioned the cat, that’s the point , it is sadly irrelevant for question of leave and shows a distinct lack of understanding on how management and hr policies operate
Don’t expect empathy, don’t solicit empathy. Stick to facts you need to give, state what you need/want, why, etc . If you get empathy and a good listening ear, that’s great, but remember your boss and HR are part of the management team, and their objectives and yours will not always align .