How do working mums cope with missing out on seeing assemblies/concerts/schooltime events?

[happycherrycake]

How does it make you feel, honestly?
Thinking of taking a job in a different school which will not allow me (at all - I checked) to have any time off for such things. Am not v comfortable with it, but was told that part n parcel of being a 'working mum'.

Ok so three events per term means 9 events per year, if you add that on top of juggling sick days, school holidays, random occurences, I can't imagine for one minute that DH or I would be able to go to everything.

So hopefully DS will know someone elses parent there, or if he is not,well then I will just have to hope he is ok and not upset.

But I still think that for the school to organise one event a term where parents are expected is probably plenty.

er lyra, no, that's not true. MOST parents, um, no, not necessarily.

Ok www, you may be right. But i can only judge by what goes on at our school. Every school and area is different.

I may be setting myself up for a flaming here, but isn't missing these types of things part and parcel of being a teacher/working in a school- rather than part and parcel of being a working mum?

The fact is that teaching is very different to a lot of other jobs. You can't make the time up at the start or end of the day. You can't have flexibility because you normally work more than your contracted hours. You need to be there when the class are, and if you're not then the school has to spend money on a supply teacher. I can understand why they aren't flexible, TBH.

Before people attack me, although I am not a teacher myself, my mother was, so I grew up with this issue. She used to explain to me that she couldn't make assemblies/sports day or whatever but that, unlike the other mums with jobs, she would be with me every half term and every holiday. That always seemed like quite a good trade off when I was seven...

Ribenaberry you are right that although I will miss nearly all of the daytime events at school, which is approx 4 per term, I do have the school holidays, which obviously means the world to both myself and the children. Mine are 6, 8 and 10, and I have not yet come to terms with the imbalance of being there for all my eldest's events, and very few of my youngest. I realise it's all about balance but I have not yet accepted it myself yet!
Wish I could have my cake and eat all of it!!!

I WOTH and have never missed a concert/assembly/open afternoon. I have helped out at numerous school fairs, gone on school trips and used to help out in the classroom for a couple of hours once a week.

DH makes the majority of things too.

Loads of working parents make these events too - and many of these are male. In fact on the last school trip I helped out on, there were 3 SAHM's, me a woth mum and two woth dads, making up the six parents.

I put all the events in my diary at the beginning of term and that stops the time being booked in my diary. I have to say though - with a hint of xenia that the more senior you are in an organisation, the easier it becomes to juggle these kind of committments.

Yep - it's about the job.

DH can take time off if necessary. When I was teaching I couldn't.

I'm now deciding whether to go back to teaching or try something new, and the holidays vs flexibility thing is a real dilemma for me.

Aw HappyCherry, I can understand that it's difficult. FWIW, I would far rather have had a mum who was a teacher than one who did everything else. I always felt dead sorry for the kids whose mums worked in other jobs and needed to be shuttled about between holiday clubs/friends' houses every day in the summer. I know it's hard for you, but I honestly think it's harder for you than the children.

BTW, my mum used to make me do a repeat performance of anything she missed at home. Reconstruction of me holding up a picture in assembly, etc, while she sat on the sofa looking serious. V funny looking back.

(Ribena an opinion here would be wonderful if you get a little minute)

LOL Ribenaberry, repeat performance in the lounge!
Thanks for all responses, it has made me feel a little better. Am finding this one of the hardest decisions of motherhood (so far!), even choosing high schools was less stressy(and that was bloomin awful). But mainly because it's me who is missing out.

Good luck whatever you decide