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Original poster

To go off sick..

26 replies

morag1234 · 21/10/2023 10:25

I have never been off on long term sick. I've always been quite resilient but recently I've started to feel like I can't cope. I've never felt this way before.

I got a promotion and was meant to stay on the same team but due to admin errors I was moved to a role that I am not suited to. I'm awful at it. It's lost of ministerial work and lots of urgent things coming in.

It's so, so busy and so difficult and I'm really not getting the hang of it. I have been in the role for a year now so have started to apply for jobs.
It has got to the point where I haven't been taking lunch breaks because i'm too busy. I've been considering logging on on my day off or the weekend to try and catch up on work. I am only paid around 22k as I'm part time, so it's not like I'm a high grade who needs to be logging on out of hours.

I feel like I've got all that pressure, then I come home and my house is disgusting because I don't have time to keep on top of it. I feel like I can't keep up with the washing, tidying, putting clothes away, making sure we have food in the house, taking the kids to their activities, making sure their uniforms are ready. I just feel like I'm at breaking point. I have absolutely never felt like this before. I just can't cope.

I am employed by civil service so could easily get a couple of weeks off with stress, but I would also feel so guilty. They can see I'm not the type to do this normally but I just don't know if I can do it to them. What are people's thoughts?

OP posts:
Cowlover89 · 21/10/2023 10:30

If its what you feel like you need to do, go for it x

SwedishEdith · 21/10/2023 10:43

How part time are you?

user1846385927482658 · 21/10/2023 10:46

Two weeks is nothing (and not usually considered long term sickness either).

If you're not well, you shouldn't be working.

Is there anything that could be done to support you so you felt able to manage when you return?

LeonBlack · 21/10/2023 10:51

Sounds awful, get something else. You’re stressed, lots of people go off with stress so if you feel you need to, do it.

You’re being poorly managed. Your line manager should be supporting you and performance monitoring.

MillieVonPinkle · 21/10/2023 10:55

Take two weeks off sick - tell your Dr it's work related stress. Take time to sort your house out, organise your mind.

Then on your first day back meet with your manager and say exactly what you've said here... I've always been quite resilient but recently I've started to feel like I can't cope. I've never felt this way before.

Be specific that you're struggling and that you need help, support or a change to a different role. This is your managers job, to help and support you.

PrincessNoteSpelling · 21/10/2023 10:57

How part time are you? Are you having to do work on your off days?.

Original poster
morag1234 · 21/10/2023 10:58

@SwedishEdith I work 4 days, 30 hours a week.
I have a Monday off and still have my youngest at home for half that day (she does mornings at school), so not managing to do much in terms of housework/keeping on top of stuff.

I would feel beyond guilty but I just feel like I need to sort myself out, my house out. Just get on top of everything and start afresh.

I think because I act all bubbly in work (over Teams, as my whole team are based 4 hours away from me), they don't really see what I'm actually like. A colleague came up to me the other day and commented that I used to be really chatty and friendly and now I just walk around looking all down and sombre, and I though gosh, she's actually right.

I think they would support me when I went back in terms of perhaps less work, or more regular chats etc.

Arg, I feel so bad but I think I need to do it to sort myself out.

OP posts:
Original poster
morag1234 · 21/10/2023 10:59

@PrincessNoteSpelling I haven't logged on on my days off, but I've been considering it. I can't catch up on work when i'm actually working because they send through a load of urgent jobs as I'm trying to do the others.

It's ridiculous. But somehow the rest of the team seem to cope! Or at least it appears that way.

OP posts:
Cowlover89 · 21/10/2023 11:00

I got told my the job centre that 30 hours is classed as full time.

Cowlover89 · 21/10/2023 11:00

By*

Babybearissleeping · 21/10/2023 11:02

Have you asked for help or told your managers you are finding it difficult/don't understand the role?

Original poster
morag1234 · 21/10/2023 11:08

@Babybearissleeping yes, I have mentioned to her on a couple of occasions that I don't feel like I'm doing a job and that I get confused etc. She reassured me that I'm doing really well (I'm definitely not).
She also knows I get overwhelmed when I'm busy as I email her to discuss what to prioritise etc.

I haven't really ever mentioned that I feel like I can't cope with the workload though. I haven't actively brought up that I'm really struggling with it.

OP posts:
Original poster
morag1234 · 21/10/2023 11:09

Don't feel like I'm doing a good job*

OP posts:
Berushni · 21/10/2023 11:13

You could 'easily get a couple of weeks off' based on what? The fact that it can all wait? Either you're ill, so can't work, or you manage the time to do what you can.

user1846385927482658 · 21/10/2023 11:13

I think they would support me when I went back in terms of perhaps less work, or more regular chats etc.

Have you broached this?

Abergale · 21/10/2023 11:19

it might be to late for this depending on how you feel but have you raised it really clearly with your manager? They should help. And if they dont at least it’s on their radar so when their hand is forced when you go off they will will know what needs putting in place for your return

Original poster
morag1234 · 21/10/2023 11:21

@Berushni based on the sickness and wellbeing policy at work. They are excellent employers who do look after their staff. I'm just on a terrible team.

OP posts:
Original poster
morag1234 · 21/10/2023 11:23

@Abergale yes, perhaps you are right. I haven't actually broached anything with my line manager. I know she would be incredibly helpful and help me to manage my workload. I really do feel like I can't cope and need to sort everything out, but I know she could put things in place to help.

OP posts:
Jethia · 21/10/2023 11:25

Was the role you moved into full-time but they agreed to you doing it part-time?
Are you in fact doing a full-time job for part-time pay?

4 day weeks are really tricky and I would avoid it like the plague! I've seen several friends return after mat leave and their manager has agreed to 4 days but basically hasn't done anything with the extra day of work tasks as it's not enough to employ someone else. So they're run ragged doing the job and being paid less!

Step back, deep breath. Contact you GP on Monday and get signed off for 2 or 3 weeks.
Use the time to get yourself and your thoughts organised and then set a meeting with your manager on first day back and basically tell her what you've said here about not coping.

One of the issues of remote working is that people can't see how you "really are" and it's easier to pretend you're coping fine. I know someone else whose in this situation and now off sick and manager is horrified she didn't know her staff member was struggling mentally so much!

Good luck and I hope you feel better after speaking to your GPFlowers

Original poster
morag1234 · 21/10/2023 11:31

@Jethia I was already part time, but the role they moved me in to had been carried out by a full time member of staff previously. It is awkward because they probably don't realise that they are shovelling work at me. I guess also my fault for not bringing it up properly😩

OP posts:
Jethia · 21/10/2023 11:38

morag1234 · 21/10/2023 11:31

@Jethia I was already part time, but the role they moved me in to had been carried out by a full time member of staff previously. It is awkward because they probably don't realise that they are shovelling work at me. I guess also my fault for not bringing it up properly😩

I think that's the crux of the problem then and should be easy enough to fix.
It's very likely they haven't removed a days worth of work from your (now part-time) post. But sitting down in a 1 to 1 with your manager and letting her know how much your struggling should help to identify which tasks can go elsewhere.

user1846385927482658 · 21/10/2023 11:54

Then you need to talk to them before going off sick otherwise nothing is going to change.

SwedishEdith · 21/10/2023 13:01

I agree that 4 days is the worst part time arrangement for the type of work it sounds like you're doing. I know people who've gone back to 5 days as they were doing 5 days' worth of work anyway. You, with your manager's support, need to be really clear you do 4 days only. Become a broken, unapologetic record about it and have it as part of your email signature. I bet you are being given the same workload as the full timers.

Abergale · 21/10/2023 13:06

I missed where you said you did 4 days. I agree with everyone else that seems to be the worst arrangement. You need to speak to your manager and ask to take a days work of you

Original poster
morag1234 · 21/10/2023 13:09

Thanks everyone.

I think I'll start with a chat with my line manager. They are definitely giving me work as if I'm full time, so hopefully that can be resolved!!

OP posts:
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