Is this shitty of my boss or am I over thinking?

[Maxislefthand]

I’m currently taking a small amount of annual leave due to high stress levels. I discussed this with the staff psychologist before I went off, it was either this or go off sick.

The pressure at work has been unrelenting for months and I was recently dragged into an investigation at work. When I was told about the investigation it was sprung on me when I walked into a room with manager/HR/assistant and handed a letter. No idea before that. I’ve consulted with my union and looked at the allegations but these are easily disproved with email/phone records which I have.

However the whole thing threw me massively combined with the ongoing operational pressures and I had a mini breakdown where I literally couldn’t stop crying for 3 days. This is when I took my leave.

On the second day of my leave I get a “ping” on my personal phone which is tied to my work calendar. Boss has put in a meeting between myself, herself and HR on the day of my return. No context. No “don’t worry just a catch up” just the meeting invite labelled “meeting in x room”.

It has ruined my time off. I feel sick with nerves thinking the worse, I woke up at 5am with adrenaline just rushing through me. I tried ringing my boss - no answer. I pinged HR - no answer.

Essentially my leave has been ruined and I feel more stressed than I did before hand

I’m always very careful when I ask to meet with my direct reports adhoc to give assurance or context around the purpose of the meeting so people don’t feel anxious.

This is shitty behaviour isn’t it ?

I'm not understanding why you took holiday instead of going off sick?

I think you are (probably justifiably) being over sensitive about this. I imagine he has been told to schedule a return to work interview to make sure you are OK to come back to work as you have taken annual leave instead of sick.

Also I think taking annual leave instead of sick is a mistake, did someone advise you to do that?

It would be reasonable for a boss to have a catch up after annual leave / time off. It may just be a handover? If you can have the emails as proof against allegations then why worry?

Boss is a she not a he

Nobody told me to take annual leave. I decided to. Precisely because I couldn’t deal with the hassle of return to work interviews etc etc.

Conversation with the staff psychologist is confidential. Nobody else is aware of how I was feeling

I suppose if that is usual practice yes - I can’t say my boss has ever done that in the 2 years I’ve worked for her

So if she doesnt know why you are off she can't be expected to know that scheduling a meeting for the day of your return would cause you anxiety.

I think it's fairly standard when anything to do with HR is scheduled.

If you have a clear paper/digital trail of what's been happening at work then you've nothing to worry about however be prepared for all eventualities.

I really don't understand these replys.. yes it's shitty of her and yes she did it deliberately.

Oh do you know her?

I'd guess it was maybe a wellbeing check / return to work thing?

I can't imagine you're getting the sack or anything. You haven't done anything wrong

Take all the work stuff off your personal phone.

Nothing worse than being stressed about work and it leaking into your personal time to decompress.

It sounds like a toxic situation and I'd be looking for a new job in your shoes.

If you know the allegations but can disprove them, get your ducks in a row and prepare your defence whilst you are on leave if possible . Print off supporting documents if you can. Highlight each accusation in different colours. Highlight the defence in matching colours so if you turn to jelly at the meeting, the colours will help you.
You shouldn't have to be doing this while you're on leave but it might be the only way to make you feel better.

Is it standard practice at your place that your work calendar is linked to a private phone?

If not, i don't think she can be blamed for booking space in your diary on return.

My interpretation is that you are in the midst of an investigation (have you provided your evidence yet?) & have disappeared in leave at short notice. She's obviously going to need to speak to you on return to find out what's going on and it's sensible to have someone present for both of your sakes in these circumstances.

I can understand it upsetting you, but I wouldn't assume it's deliberate plot to freak you out.

Has the investigation concluded? They would need to have a meeting with you to let you know the outcome even if that outcome was that you were completely vindicated and no case to answer. Though in those circumstances, personally I’d have texted you to let you know the meeting had gone in but there was no cause to worry.

This. It isn't shitty when she doesn't know the context.

I would speak to your GP and union and then go off sick. I too have no idea why you'd take annual leave in this situation unless your union had specifically advised you to? I've been in a dreadfully stressful job and the relief when I left was amazing. There is a light at the end of the tunnel OP- whether you leave or things settle.

The meeting could be about anything, if you are on annual leave and she doesn't know why, then she wouldn't be scheduling a return to work meeting.

It probably needed to be added into a calendar so that no other meetings could be put in, it makes sure the times assigned in the day. I doubt it’s been done maliciously if HR are added into the meeting too.

Yabu it sounds. How would she know that you'd be logged on to work and checking things/looking at updates on your personal phone while off sick.

Unsync your diary to your work phone. Ask a union rep to attend meeting with you.

I doubt it was deliberate to upset you. Don’t link your work stuff to your personal
phone. If you want to avoid burnout this is a top priority to separate the personal from work.

They are investigating something that involves you, which will involve HR. After they told you, you took time off - fine, but short notice. A meeting with HR present could be anything. Try not to catastrophise.

Why is your work calendar on your personal phone? You can't blame them for that.

Why is your work calendar tied to your personal phone? I'm sorry you're having such a tough time, but there's nothing wrong with people sending calendar invitations to people on holiday.

You should have taken sick leave in the circumstances.

You still could.

I'd email back and either say you won't be in, or if you are going to go in, email and say that you are not prepared to attend a meeting when you don't know what it's about, without your union rep.