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HR confidential conversation :is it truly confidential

51 replies

Howdoesitwork1 · 01/10/2023 09:04

I've never done this before and dint realise there is a work topic.
I want to log something unacceptable that happened to me with hr but don't want any action taken at the moment. If I ask for it to be confidential will it be?

OP posts:
OakElmAsh · 01/10/2023 09:11

Basically not really - if whatever it is, is serious enough that the company would generally be required to act, then HR will have an obligation to act.

Whatsgoingon12345 · 01/10/2023 09:12

You can call ACAS and they may be able to help

SamanthaCarta · 01/10/2023 09:13

In my experience, HR are their primarily to protect the company, so I'd be wary of raising something you don't want taken forward.

HicIocusEst · 01/10/2023 09:16

No.
Because the person you report to, reports to someone etc.
And if it's deemed, by the company's own policies, that someone needs to know, then they will know.
There is no such thing as true confidentiality. You'll probably be assured that the person (?) you are reporting won't be informed at this time, or unless it's deemed necessary. But that's about it.

Firebug007 · 01/10/2023 09:21

HR professionals aren't priests who take a vow of silence, you can never guarantee anything will be kept confidential. I'm always very clear to people on that. It should be kept confidential but it depends on the situation. You say you want to tell HR about something but don't want any action taken, so why tell them anything, what do you expect them to do? Honestly, I file things like this in the bin 🤷‍♀️ it's usually someone with a ridiculous complaint who thinks if they've 'logged' something with HR they can use it in some way later.

Poppins2016 · 01/10/2023 09:27

Honestly, I file things like this in the bin 🤷‍♀️ it's usually someone with a ridiculous complaint who thinks if they've 'logged' something with HR they can use it in some way later.

To be honest, my view is usually that if someone is bothered enough to take the time to log/report something "just in case" then there's already a significant issue that's troubling the employee and needs investigating or nipping in the bud. Alternatively, the person reporting is a troublemaker and that may need investigation/nipping in the bud!

Witchbitch20 · 01/10/2023 09:31

HR protect the company not the individual.

Either it’s an issue and you want it to actioned or it’s not. If you feel you need “records”, start collating a diary of “incidents” along with supporting evidence. If it does become an issue this will help with any investigation process.

Howdoesitwork1 · 01/10/2023 09:32

I'd like to think I'm not a trouble maker but I would be logging it in case I need it later yes.

I didn't realise that maybe viewed as a bad thing?

This is why I'm asking

OP posts:
PinkFrogss · 01/10/2023 09:34

If it’s that unacceptable HR will take action, or at least want to investigate etc.

If you just want it “on record” and nothing else done what’s the point? They won’t just take your word for it without evidence.

If you want it in writing somewhere just write an account of what happened and email it to yourself.

WinchSparkle80 · 01/10/2023 09:36

From bitter experience, no. I had an exit interview, was thoroughly honest with examples and left on Friday. By Monday afternoon I had the CFO on the phone challenging me… so HR definitely won’t be confidential.

BearFacedCheekGrylls · 01/10/2023 09:37

never confidential, in my experience

flashbac · 01/10/2023 09:38

Howdoesitwork1 · 01/10/2023 09:32

I'd like to think I'm not a trouble maker but I would be logging it in case I need it later yes.

I didn't realise that maybe viewed as a bad thing?

This is why I'm asking

Your question is too vague. It all depends on:
What your HR is like
The nature of what the issue is.

I would keep it confidential if appropriate but if you came and told me a manager had done something serious, e.g. sexual harassment, I would let you know it can't really stay under wraps and needs looking into.

WrongSwanson · 01/10/2023 09:40

If it's bad behaviour then they have a duty of care to you and other staff so they can't just pop it in a file until you feel ready.

What's the issue? Why do you want HR to know but not to do anything about it?

Howdoesitwork1 · 01/10/2023 09:51

Because I thought I would be creating a trail of evidence

OP posts:
NashvilleQueen · 01/10/2023 09:52

Is there anything like a whistleblowing or freedom to speak up person? They can usually manage more things confidentially.

Poppins2016 · 01/10/2023 09:53

Howdoesitwork1 · 01/10/2023 09:32

I'd like to think I'm not a trouble maker but I would be logging it in case I need it later yes.

I didn't realise that maybe viewed as a bad thing?

This is why I'm asking

I think I should probably have clarified/added some additional info to my earlier post.

In my experience (and my general view), having worked in the HR area, people who log things "just in case" are usually genuine and the complete opposite of troublemakers. They usually have a significant (or significantish) issue and don't want to rock the boat and be perceived as a troublemaker by making an official grievance. The trouble with this, is that if you take it on face value (and do nothing as requested) the issue keeps on happening/festering/making people miserable.

"I just want to log this just in case" conversations often flag an issue like bullying or unpleasant behaviour. In the few cases I've dealt with "I don't want to take this further, but" conversations, it's actually ended up resulting in dismissal (of the accused, now the whistle blower!) down the line because it was part of a wider pattern of behaviour that nobody wanted to speak up about. The office environment became a much happier, collaborative place as a result.

So I guess the question I'd ask is, why are you raising the issue if you don't want anything done? Deep down, is it because you're worried about repercussions (if so, it's HRs job to protect you)? Is it because you're worried about being seen as petty (if so, are you being petty or are you actually seriously bothered by something, in which case it's a valid concern to raise)? Etc, etc..

Howdoesitwork1 · 01/10/2023 09:57

It's because my role is secondary and expendable.
I'm suffering doing my role because of primary role attitudes.
But I expect it's a no win situation and like you said, it's me who would end up loosing my job.

OP posts:
thinkfast · 01/10/2023 10:04

Why have you started two threads about the same thing OP? Are you trying to log it with Mumsnet too?

stonedaisy · 01/10/2023 10:07

either go full grievance with it now or keep it to yourself and build a case over time as more examples happen. HR will speak to other people to try and corroborate what you have told them so be mindful of that.

I waited and got an awesome bit of evidence that many others saw / heard too and it was i disputable and the manager walked when HR started to speak to him about the details of the grievance

itsmeafterall · 01/10/2023 10:15

My experience years back when I was being bullied:

Had an 'off the record' chat with HR then several months later raised an official grievance which I forewarned the HR person about. As she was supportive the off the record chat helped her prepared and was more on my side.

Off the record does mean that officially it's not logged anywhere though so not sure if it would work in your case.

I'd be tempted to raise it as an issue but say that you're not raising an official grievance at this time.

I'm interested to understand don't want to make it official yet?

itsmeafterall · 01/10/2023 10:18

Howdoesitwork1 · 01/10/2023 09:57

It's because my role is secondary and expendable.
I'm suffering doing my role because of primary role attitudes.
But I expect it's a no win situation and like you said, it's me who would end up loosing my job.

I think with all things HR and issues at work you need to have a clear view on what outcome you want from it before you start.

If you want to protect your job then be clear that you're worried about repercussions for raising the issue. Call it out blatantly and get reassurances that they will protect your from that.

If you want a paid exit and this is ammunition for that then be clear with HR that what is being done is illegal (assuming it is) and your position is untenable so they need to pay you to leave.

There may be other alternatives but have a good think about what you want to happen before you raise it.

titchy · 01/10/2023 10:19

Howdoesitwork1 · 01/10/2023 09:51

Because I thought I would be creating a trail of evidence

That isn't evidence though. Evidence is a diary, with notes of comments made, where, when, whether anyone else witnessed etc etc. Going to HR for a confidential chat about what an arsehole boss/colleague is, isn't evidence.

Thefacethatlaunchedathousandchips · 01/10/2023 10:20

It depends what it is. I think if for example, someone sexually harassed or made comments about a protected characteristic like your ethnicity, they would have to follow it up with the person who did it.

I work in HR in a school, so maybe it's different as obviously a person who did either of those things would be of concern to the school as they work around children.

titchy · 01/10/2023 10:20

A meeting with HR would be better spent asking them to point you to their written policies on bullying, whistleblowing etc and to outline the processes of reporting such.

Howdoesitwork1 · 01/10/2023 10:25

@titchy yes good point.

OP posts: