Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Work

Chat with other users about all things related to working life on our Work forum.

Flip

1 2 3

Original poster

Massive regret new job 2 weeks in

59 replies

shiftshock · 19/09/2023 10:13

Name changed. I recently moved jobs to take up an ostensibly more senior middle management role within my industry. The job I left I liked, and I was well thought of by the leadership team but there were limited opportunities for growth. I was persuaded to move to this new job for the same salary on the basis that I would be able to hire into the small team and they recognised the need for investment. After 2 weeks, I feel huge regret and am also massively stressed. The investment I was told would be feasible to increase the resourcing in the team now doesn't appear to be there ( I specifically asked this before accepting the role), onboarding has been non existent, and I was firefighting within 1 day of starting the role. I have had no time to get up to speed on anything and have one critical deadline after another. There was no handover with the previous incumbent yet the expectation seems to be that I know everything that is going on, and can just swing immediately into action without familiarising myself at all. I understand the need to 'hit the ground running, and I'm usually pretty good at assimilating information but I feel totally overwhelmed and unsupported. I tend to trust my gut, and my alarm bells are ringing about the unreasonable expectations. I'm pretty sure my old company would have me back. Has anyone had any experience of this? I feel so stupid. I'm relatively seasoned and experienced but have not been sleeping and crying every day since I started.

OP posts:

WannabeMathematician · 26/09/2023 17:43

One of my colleagues did four months at a competitor in the early 2000’s then came straight back. He’s been with my team since then. Don’t worry about going back if it’s not working out for you.

Nowthereistwo · 26/09/2023 18:06

I have everything crossed that it works out with your previous company or somewhere new.

Your mental wellbeing is not worth it - don't take it on as a challenge to fix them or see it as a failure if you bounce quickly.

Original poster

shiftshock · 26/09/2023 18:30

Thank you @WannabeMathematician @Nowthereistwo - definitely not going to sacrifice my mental health. Thank you for the kind wishes.

OP posts:

notlisteningwithmother · 26/09/2023 21:39

@shiftshock I could have written the same as you here especially the comments about how work stress affects mental health and lifestyle choices. I really hope things work out for you.
I can't go back. But the comments here about how long to stick with the unhappiness help. It hasn't got easier but I'm through the 3 month probation. New life skill is blocking out the constant sniping by imagining myself in a different place.

Original poster

shiftshock · 29/09/2023 09:02

It's looking very likely I will be able to return to old role. Dreading conversation with this place but it's just not for me. Any advice on handling the conversation would be appreciated ... 😬

OP posts:

Roselilly36 · 29/09/2023 09:13

@shiftshock thats great news, just tell them asap, it’s not for you. Good luck, you will feel so much better once you have told them, just be prepared that they may want you to leave immediately.

Nowthereistwo · 29/09/2023 10:59

Great news. No advise except don't burn your bridges

Original poster

shiftshock · 29/09/2023 11:49

Thanks @Roselilly36 @Nowthereistwo . I think it's going to be difficult to not burn bridges they are going to be really annoyed.

OP posts:

Percypink · 29/09/2023 11:55

Admittedly i haven't read all the replies but please don't worry about appearing flakey. In the current climate this seems a very common situation and I think unless the rest of your CV shows an extensive career/job long history of short term jobs I wouldn't worry. Sounds an absolute shit show!

piscofrisco · 29/09/2023 12:09

Just be honest with them and say that after two weeks you don't feel it's a good fit (be prepared to say why but don't go in too hard about how rubbish it is) and you don't think it's fair to waste any more of their time and resource onboarding you.

(Make sure your old place will take you back first though!)

kirinm · 29/09/2023 12:29

OP I started a new job 5 months ago. I regretted it immediately and basically cried everyday for about 6 weeks. The work I was promised didn't materialise and I felt like it was a step back and I was de-skilling. I promised myself I'd give it until my probation period had finished as I was worried about looking sketchy but I am just about to resign.

I've been offered a more senior and significantly better paid job. I feel awful about resigning as actually the people are really nice but the job just isn't what I was promised. I'm keeping that in mind so I remember i'm justified in making my decision.

Katrinawaves · 29/09/2023 13:58

This is a classic “it’s not you, it’s me” conversation! Just be honest(ish). Tell them they are a great company and lovely people but the role wasn’t what you were expecting and not what you were looking for and that you are resigning and happy to leave immediately if they would like you to, or to work a short notice period to hand over in an orderly fashion if they would prefer. During probation, the notice period is often only one week but you should check yours before you have the conversation so you don’t inadvertently offer to work longer than you need to!

Original poster

shiftshock · 29/09/2023 13:58

@kirinm sorry you have experienced this.Like you, people really nice but I have also cried every day for now nearly 4 weeks. Glad you have something better to go to.

OP posts:

Original poster

shiftshock · 29/09/2023 14:24

Thanks @Katrinawaves unfortunately I think notice period is a month which would be super awkward. Thanks for advice on conversation, not sure it is entirely me but I get what you mean about framing it.

OP posts:

Original poster

shiftshock · 02/10/2023 12:27

Hoping to get paperwork through today and then have the incredibly uncomfortable conversation. I know I'm doing the right thing but feel awful.

OP posts:

kirinm · 02/10/2023 14:48

shiftshock · 02/10/2023 12:27

Hoping to get paperwork through today and then have the incredibly uncomfortable conversation. I know I'm doing the right thing but feel awful.

I had mine today. It wasn't as bad as I was expecting it to be - although I felt sick with anxiety.

Original poster

shiftshock · 02/10/2023 15:02

That's good @kirinm do you have a long notice period?

OP posts:

kirinm · 02/10/2023 15:04

shiftshock · 02/10/2023 15:02

That's good @kirinm do you have a long notice period?

Not currently as I'm still in my probation period. I have a month whereas it is usually 3 months. A month will fly.

Good luck with your chat!

kirinm · 02/10/2023 15:06

You will feel better once it's done. I promise.

Original poster

shiftshock · 02/10/2023 15:41

I know I will thank you @kirinm . Glad it went OK for you. I just haven't felt right since I started this role. Despite them being nice people everything about it feels wrong.

OP posts:

Stoptheclimbing · 03/10/2023 13:07

I understand what this is like OP. I had this situation when I started a new job after finishing maternity leave towards the end last year. In theory, the new role was a step up, but I actually had less responsibility, an unmanageable workload, and was being subject to an insane level of micromanagement.

I lasted 4 months before I handed my notice in, after a two week period where I barely saw my son who was only a bit over 1 at the time.

Unfortunately for me, I didn't have the opportunity to return to my old role as they had filled it. It took a few months to find something else, and I was lucky that I had some savings to draw on. My new job is great. It's very family friendly and the people are lovely.

Fingers crossed it all works out for you OP, but you are right that you just know when a new role is an awful fit.

JFDIYOLO · 04/10/2023 01:22

How are you doing OP? Just came across your thread and see it's a while since you posted.

Original poster

shiftshock · 04/10/2023 09:52

Oh my goodness @Stoptheclimbing this sounds very familiar. So glad you have something better. Thank you for checking in @JFDIYOLO I'm OK- feel quite bruised by the whole thing but I will be ok.

OP posts:

SM4713 · 04/10/2023 14:26

Have you handed your notice in as yet? Double check your notice period before writing your resignation letter. I had one pre-written to hand them when I resigned, stating my exact last working day etc.

For me, it was only 1mth, but my horrid boss assumed it was 3mths. It was their own error for not updating their documents! I was actually leaving to care for a terminally ill relative, but I also hated the place.

Rather than showing any ounce of compassion, my boss avoided me, would walk out of the room if I came in and literally snuck around of office. As soon as I'd sit down- she'd enter the room and demand to know why I was sitting down! Longest 4 weeks of my life- so absolutely worth it to get out of there.

Any word from your old company OP? Any start date?

Original poster

shiftshock · 07/10/2023 08:22

@SM4713 I've done it and managed to negotiate the notice period down thank goodness so will finish next week! They were not happy but not too bad either.Hoping to start back at old job after half term. Has been a complete mess but I'm so so glad I made this call early. The job was chaos and would have crushed me.

OP posts:

Flip

1 2 3