Leaving toxic workplace for something better

Alphabet1spaghetti2 · 15/09/2023 18:31

Yes and the relief is huge.
keep sticking at applying for other jobs. You will get something better, fingers crossed it’s soon. Not everyone gels with everyone else, it’s not you, its likely not them, it’s just life and one of those things that can happen.

MonkeyPuddle · 15/09/2023 18:32

It’s what I’m doing now. I’ve reached breaking point with piss poor management and lack of staff. I’ve started applications for other roles now. I need out.

Suckingalemon · 15/09/2023 19:21

Yes just do it. I felt very weird for a while afterwards, almost like I'd broken up an abusive relationship and should just not look back, but couldn't help but be interested in gossip from others who still worked there.

It's only after I left I realised what a funked place it really was

Original poster

whatisforteamum · 15/09/2023 19:31

Alphabet1spaghetti2
Thank you for that.In a way I actually feel like this.A couple of personality clashes that despite help to connect with each other we just don't.Same with the rigid ways of working too.
I held out for the belief that they would see how hard I work and how invested I am.
I just want to feel accepted and respected and enjoy my days again.

OP posts:

functioningadult · 15/09/2023 19:45

I could have written your post a few months ago. I started a new job last week. My new colleagues are bloody lovely and the working processes seem well defined.

This is after two years of feeling like the odd one out on the team and struggling every day. You can get out and find something that won't grind you down and make you utterly miserable.

Original poster

whatisforteamum · 15/09/2023 19:58

Functioningadult that is great news.
Well done you.Im constantly telling myself I will be accepted. Everyone in the place is lovely and friendly except my own colleagues. It's like being gaslight tbh.
There but not part of anything.
That has given me hope.

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functioningadult · 15/09/2023 20:00

You can and will find something that's a better fit for you. Best of luck

Justcashnosweets · 15/09/2023 20:12

I'm in the process of getting out of a toxic work place..I've only been there 7 months, but I knew after the first day that it was not the kind of place I would thrive in. High staff turnover, lots of negativity and reporting of minor mistakes to management, when being supportive and providing adequate training would be more appropriate. As soon as my formal offer is in I am out of there.

AnnelieseKing · 16/09/2023 06:59

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Original poster

whatisforteamum · 16/09/2023 09:27

Thanks for the replies.
I thrive in creative fun places with pressure and new ideas.My current role is mon to Fri which is why I took it.
This would be ok if the people were proactive they are just there to do bare minimum and stay still or leave.
I stand out as being more vibrant and engaged in work.
At least I tried it and the dreadful gossiping about me has stopped.
I've been forcing myself into a box that isn't my fit.

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Victoriaplum1 · 16/09/2023 09:30

Same here OP years ago I'd be in a job for a long time. These past few years I've changed jobs so many times due to reasons stated, piss poor management (what happened to old school strict management, these days its all about sweeping under the carpet and hiring new grads with no life experience, not bitter honestly just an observation) and toxic cultures. Keep trying but be prepared to change frequently until you find it.

Ilovecoffee22 · 16/09/2023 11:30

whatisforteamum · 15/09/2023 18:20

Has anyone left somewhere that was toxic or had a high turnover and gone somewhere better.
I'm loosing confidence and thinking it is me now.
Stuck in this weird parallel universe where I am the outsider.
Odd days I feel accepted like my previous jobs.Mostly not though.Help.

Yes it's 100 percent best to leave a toxic work place. I have been off sick since the start of the year due to this and being poorly. I've finally got the chance to get a new job in a place I did my redeployment as I fitted in there but will have to go self employed because of the grant. I'm scared but I need to do it for me. Good luck xx

Original poster

whatisforteamum · 16/09/2023 13:22

Thank you ilovecoffee.well done you.

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Pumpernickel101 · 16/09/2023 13:27

I have left and it does feel like leaving an abusive relationship.
The best advice I can give is not to tell anyone where you’re going. Get references from other bosses and get out as quickly as possible before you loose your confidence.
When you get to your new, hopefully normal workplace it might take you a few months to trust that people really are as nice and normal as they appear to be and process how awful the last place was but you’ll think to yourself- why did I put up with that for a second longer than I had to?

ahagwearsapointybonnet · 16/09/2023 13:28

I kind of did. In the end I didn't go till they were doing a voluntary redundancy offer with a good package, which gave me the final nudge; but I perhaps should have gone sooner (stuck around as I could work part-time there and had a lot of flexibility, which I wasn't confident of getting elsewhere at the time). It was a good job for many years, but a lot of things had changed and by the end I was hating it so much and really miserable. I still have some bitterness about aspects of how I was treated years later, but am glad to be in my new job - no job is perfect of course, so I have the odd grumble but overall I'm a LOT happier there!

Feelingcrazy123 · 16/09/2023 13:30

I’m in this position myself, I hate where I work. I love my job but hate the place due to how it’s ran and the management. I’ve just started my maternity leave but will only be doing the minimum time when I return to not have to pay my maternity pay back then I’ll be leaving - for any job I can get.

chorusline79 · 16/09/2023 13:34

I am about to! It has definitely knocked my confidence - I've had an awful manager who I had to complain about for bullying- I was scared to speak to her and felt physically and mentally unwell. It has been a horrendously stressful experience but I'm going in 2 weeks so feeling the relief. Make the change - life's too short. Good luck and all the best finding something better where you can shine.

NoWordForFluffy · 16/09/2023 13:36

I'm in my notice period having resigned from an increasingly toxic workplace. It'd been teetering on toxic for a while, but hadn't managed to quite get there. Then another person joined the company into the SMT and it jumped, both feet first, into toxicity.

So far my manager and 3 others in the same role as me have resigned since late July. It feels liberating, I can tell you.

I've worked where I'm going before, so I know what they're like to work for. Cannot bloody wait!

soundsys · 16/09/2023 13:40

Yep me! Do it, do it, do it. Honestly, your confidence will come back once you don't have to work with tossers, you just need to sort of force yourself to do it. And don't look back. Good luck!

Original poster

whatisforteamum · 16/09/2023 15:16

I did have a couple of interviews one I was offered for less money and other called me and when I said about the lower rate maybe negotiable.So I went there for a chat.
They said they couldn't match my rate of pay so I felt rejected when they turned me down even though I didn't want to go there.!
Knocking my normally good positive work confidence more.
I really hope there is somewhere suitable where my colleagues can include me and I'm not the subject of every wrong doing.
Your replies are making me feel less alone.
I will wonder why I stayed for a year for sure.

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Suckingalemon · 16/09/2023 20:15

I got to the point where I was given medication for anxiety and signed off for two weeks by my GP. However, I never actually cashed the fit note and took the two weeks off because I couldn't face the conversation with my horrible manager and the thought of being discussed in office gossip. (Another colleague had a full nervous breakdown and he was discussed behind his back). I suffered all sorts of minor ailments in that job, I was never fully well.

Some sense of self preservation kicked in, and I realised hiding in my car at lunchtime was not normal. I honestly think divine intervention played a part, I opened indeed and there was an exact job match for me.

I don't think you can give no idea of where you're headed but I would swiftly remove yourself from any work whatsapp chats, etc.

No job is worth being so miserable. Cut yourself free.

bctf123 · 19/09/2023 13:23

Yes I was sweet talked.
The office was tiny, purpose built site but badly designed, slow systems, all squashed into one room, 18 year olds being rude to older people , school leavers sending emails back and forth he did this and she did that. A manager was showing me Snapchat but reported me for answering my Ring doorbell at that time
Left in 3* months and laugh about it now
Don't stay if you won't last

Soggybaps · 08/03/2024 14:51

For anyone reading this thread - don’t dwell and keep the faith.

I felt stuck in a horrendously toxic work environment where I was poached and essentially, mis-sold the job role to get me in post.

I stuck it out for a year and finally offered a position back in my old department (different role to my previous one) and the relief I felt was huge. Like a massive weight had been lifted off my chest.

I plan to feedback the toxicity to head of HR prior to departing my current role and look forward to it!

Carsarelife · 08/03/2024 15:07

Yes I took an £1 hour pay cut for a less toxic job. £40 per week worse off but much happier.

DorisDoesDoncaster · 08/03/2024 15:43

I escaped a toxic workplace a decade ago. My boss had short man syndrome and halitosis. Went self employed for a bit then got a job with current employer where I have a great boss, lovely colleagues and I earn double what I did at Toxic Towers.

I do love reading GlassDoor reviews of the old place - it’s gotten even worse!