How to manage a negative employee

[Summerdayzz]

Hi all,

I manage a small team and I’m having issues with one staff member in particular who is always so negative about work (and life in general) and is very vocal about it in the office. It’s starting to bring the atmosphere of the office down, as well as the mood of the others (I have found out they call the person ‘the mood hoover’ and I am looking for tips on how to manage the situation.

I am having weekly catch-ups with this person to try and address the issues, they will always say ‘oh I was just being dramatic and having a bad day, I’m fine’ but nothing is really improving. I’ve also agreed to flexible working requests for their well-being but just feel like there is a new issue every week.

The person in question is young (24) and it’s their first ‘proper’ job after university so I can’t work out if they think that moaning about work is just what you do when you are an adult! I don’t want them to be unhappy but equally I need to think of my other staff members who are affected by their behaviour.

I have spoke to HR about it but any advice/similar experiences anyone has had would be greatly appreciated!

Interesting thread. I've become negative at work because I've been put in to a role I never asked for, warned them I would not be a good fit for, and then judged for not being better at it. I have asked to be moved but that seems to be IMPOSSIBLE. I never thought I'd be this negative but it so hard not to be. I'll be leaving as soon as I can.

Do you have company values such as teamwork, passion, etc. If so you can probably tie it in with those and manage it down that route. The negative posts on social media could potentially bring the company into disrepute and would be a warning for me. I would stick a copy of the accountability ladder on their desk and every time they have a moan, id ask them where they were on the ladder, then coach them through what they were going to do about it. Or just have an open conversation about why they worked there, what would they rather do and how can you support them to get there.

What? You expect to wait for the reaction of the others to have an impact?

Honestly OP, if they pay you to be a manager, you need to put the hat on, act like one and deal with the issue swiftly and tactfully before you end up with a very unhappy team.

It is actually piss poor management to assume the team will help her see the light on how miserable this person makes them. How would you expect them to do it? Telling her/him to shut up loudly? Ignoring them during meetings? Excluding them from social times? For the sake of your team, this person, and even yourself put that manager hat on and stop pussy footing and accommodating such behaviour before the whole of your team see you as a bad manager. They need to see a leader there.

This. I'd also tell them that they are dragging down the morale of the entire office and people are commenting.

I was being flippant and will address this situation directly with them but think this is a fair comment. Thank you for your constructive feedback.

I’m probably a very good example of a company promoting people to management level without giving them any training or support…

I would

1. ask them every morning how they are feeling - good morning how are you feeling today?

That gives them a choice - if they chose I’m fine thank you they have now said it out loud and they will have to stick by that. If they say ‘I’m unhappy’ or whatever term,
pull them in for a chat - what can we do to help you today? So the onus is on them to give you the answers. Do this every time you hear a negative comment.
John I heard you say you are unhappy about X what can we do to help?

This takes the negative away and forces them to face up to their issue and how they resolve this.

You are also taking away the audience and it doesn’t give them the type of attention they seek.

If you get comments like ‘we all think’ or ‘everyone says’ take him to one side and ask him to clarify what or who he’s taking about and ask how he responded when x told him y and how he could’ve helped them.

Have they got a point? Can you concentrate on the positives about their work? Lots of praise and encouragement, ask them what can happen to improve things. I think the social media negativity is an issue as that's usually against company policy and you can address that directly.

God, I’ve had one of these in my team. Honestly, although this sounds terrible, I’d look for any excuse to sack her. People like that never change and they really do suck the life out of the office.

She’s a rotten apple. To be honest I would be trying to manage her out before she does too much damage with her attitude, I don’t think she will change she will just be more covert about it…..she’s one of life’s moaners,
Ask her why she Dosen’t seem to like her job and what are her issues with it
Ask her does the job not meet her expectations
I would also tell her in some way that you find her attitude destructive to the team and it needs to change,
Is she not busy enough / challenged enough that she has all this time to moan

I’m probably a very good example of a company promoting people to management level without giving them any training or support…

Aren’t we all? even that girl giving you trouble may be able to complain in the same way, just consult options with HR and manage the situation according to the guidance HR provided you with.

Ignore this dreadful advice if you don’t want to gift this person or future employees an unfair dismissal case if they’ve been employed beyond two years. This behaviour from any employer would be seen as direct aggravation by any tribunal. There are laws put in place to protect the employee against misconduct such as this. OP you need to follow due process and correct procedures. First off should be mediation with HR present which should be fully documented and signed by both parties. I’d strongly suggest contacting ACAS for their advice on how to approach this. You should outline your issues and what is expected from her work and conduct wise. You must try and investigate and address any serious complaints or issues she may have. Make sure you choose your words very carefully so that they align with your company policies. Refer to these policies and be matter of fact, don’t let any personal feelings cloud your judgement to avoid inflammatory comments being made and causing further conflict.

have only read OPs posts.
If they are young and are in their first proper job you may find that you have to put in the work that young people these days don't seem to be getting from anywhere else. It isn't so much about the actual job, for that you need good onboarding, training, and follow up.

But it is more about the "world of work soft skills" that they just don't have, that the rest of us got from observing our colleagues, parents, teachers, etc etc.
We have this with our trainees. It has to be spelled out to them, every bloody time, that while we don't have a system of "office junior makes the coffee" we do have a system of "if you take the last of the coffee, you start the next lot". And "if you drop something on the floor you pick it up, clean up if necessary, and put it in the bin. Warn people about wet floor if appropriate" or "when we have a clean desk policy - that means everything off the desk you have been using gets put in your locker so the next person who booked that desk arrives to a clear workstation, with the desk at the right height and the monitor where it should be" etc etc

We have established a buddy system for new hires which now also has to cover this

OP you need some management training, dealing with people like this are bread and butter of people management.

How long have they been in this post? And do they add value or not?

The old adage of manage 'them up or manage them out' [which isn't bullying] is to firstly determine whether they are going to actually do the job or be a drain. Once you work that out, you need to decide on ways of tackling it.

If they have been in post less than 2 years you can effectively get rid of them if you wanted to.

Must it be so complicated?

Sounds like a young person who lacks social awareness. That's hardly rare. They simply need to learn to not to blurt out whatever's on their mind.

'Sam, I've noticed that you're often negative about X or Y. While I know that things can be frustrating, if we complain too much, we can inadvertently bring down the mood for other people. Sometimes it's better not to say anything at all, or to make a lighthearted comment instead. I'd like you to try this week to think before you speak. Just take a breath and make your own judgment on whether this thing needs to be said. I think you've slipped into a habit here, but you can change it, with a bit of concentration.'

It's putting me off hiring from that generation to be honest

Really? I've found most joy sucking moaning minnies to be 10-20 years older than me and that younger people are generally positive, capable, and can-do about work, but it wouldn't put me off hiring from older Gen Xs or Boomers generations.

This, spot on.

Could you gently remind them their negative attitude can affect other peoples mental health? And in a work environment we all need to be mindful of the impact we have on other people.

You could have a look at https://www.askamanager.org. Have a look through the archives as I'm sure there have been questions like this before.

That's a bit harsh. I'll bet there's nothing in the T&C's about being a negative Nellie.

If it's their first job a discussion about company culture and positivity is in order and a gentle instruction to buck their ideas up.

This is EXACTLY what you don’t want to do. Unless you intend on getting sued.

Legally you can’t turn a flex working request down without good reason.

Some terrible advice on here. Just have a grown up chat with them like human beings.

God, I have one of these too. Honestly, I think she just loves the sound of her own voice. Coupled with being a not very nice person. Not sure it can be fixed TBH.

I don't miss the days of being a manager. Unfortunately, too many times one finds oneself to be a social worker, mental health support and a surrogate parent to some of the team members. It shouldn't be the case but it is.
I resigned to the fact that some younger people generally don't have a lot of social skills and need to be told what is and isn't appropriate in the workplace. Unless their degree included some kind of a work placement situation, they may not realise that they just can't rock up at their professional job the same way they did when they were washing hair at the hairdressers on a Saturday morning.
So there needs to be a robust onboarding process which covers appropriate conduct in the office as well as outside of it (in many jobs I would have been sacked if I posted anything negative on SM as per company policy). So I would look into your processes to avoid similar situations in the future.
As far as where you ended up now, you definitely need to have a frank conversation with them as it is likely they don't even realise that they are doing anything wrong. The bullshit sandwich is an OK approach but most people are aware that this is what you are doing so I prefer to just go straight to the point. When you do have a conversation, you need to be in a good frame of mind yourself. If you are frustrated, angry or in any way struggling to self-regulate, the conversation will not go down well. You genuinely need to have their best interests at hart. Point out the issues, offer to help, show some compassion, draw on their previous experiences (or lack thereof), offer training or a "buddy". If they are not improving (which sometimes they don't) then at least they will be aware of the issues and, frankly, they will typically move on when they realise their ways are at odds with the rest of the team.

As as a team member of someone who is like this - please do manage it because if you don't you will end up with good solid people leaving.

Our bad apple managed to rot a whole barrel. Slowly creeping negativity with a side order of attention seeking behaviour becomes old. fast.

We had a team of 11, now 5. every exit interview mentioned the reason for leaving but the manager seems to think that the team 'will work it out between themselves'

What is worse is the moaning Myrtle is co opting the new starters and is making themselves a queen bee whilst infecting a whole new generation into this workplace.

What is?

@HelplessSoul

You mean bully someone out. You sound awful

Don't do that op. Talk to the colleague first and see what the root of it all is.