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Original poster

How to manage a negative employee

123 replies

Summerdayzz · 11/09/2023 11:20

Hi all,

I manage a small team and I’m having issues with one staff member in particular who is always so negative about work (and life in general) and is very vocal about it in the office. It’s starting to bring the atmosphere of the office down, as well as the mood of the others (I have found out they call the person ‘the mood hoover’ and I am looking for tips on how to manage the situation.

I am having weekly catch-ups with this person to try and address the issues, they will always say ‘oh I was just being dramatic and having a bad day, I’m fine’ but nothing is really improving. I’ve also agreed to flexible working requests for their well-being but just feel like there is a new issue every week.

The person in question is young (24) and it’s their first ‘proper’ job after university so I can’t work out if they think that moaning about work is just what you do when you are an adult! I don’t want them to be unhappy but equally I need to think of my other staff members who are affected by their behaviour.

I have spoke to HR about it but any advice/similar experiences anyone has had would be greatly appreciated!

OP posts:
HelplessSoul · 11/09/2023 11:31

Formal warning, warn them about their conduct and behaviour. Monitor their performance and then get them fired.

Remove the flexible working privilege, force them back to the office. Weekly issues are taking the piss.

Come down on them using the rules and manage them out and get rid. People like this are time and oxygen thieves.

StrictlyAFemaleFemale · 11/09/2023 11:39

I'd ask about previous workplaces and what the atmosphere is like. Explain that in this company we pride ourselves on having a pleasant working environment. Spell it out for them. Your negative comments bring everyone around you down. It needs to stop. If you have suggestions of changes to processes you bring them directly to me.

I know I'm being charitable but it might just be as you say - this is what they think working life is like because that's how it was at their Saturday job.

NoPuddingForYou · 11/09/2023 11:43

Helping them to come up with techniques for not saying these things might help. Explain that they have the option to just think it but not bring down everyone else all the time.

If you can find some data about morale at work affecting staff retention, well-being and productivity to share with him it might help him to understand that this isn’t just an academic discussion, but that he is actively damaging the organisation, even if only in a small way.

I’d also start logging every occasion where he does this. If it comes to the point that you feel he needs to go then having a log makes everything very much easier.

DatumTarum · 11/09/2023 11:47

HelplessSoul · 11/09/2023 11:31

Formal warning, warn them about their conduct and behaviour. Monitor their performance and then get them fired.

Remove the flexible working privilege, force them back to the office. Weekly issues are taking the piss.

Come down on them using the rules and manage them out and get rid. People like this are time and oxygen thieves.

Are you quite mad?

DatumTarum · 11/09/2023 11:50

Is there anything wrong with their actual work? No?

You treat this as a well being issue. Is there anything going on in their life that you don't know about?

All the moaning may be bravado to cover something wrong.

Dealing with this stuff is why managers get paid more.

Original poster
Summerdayzz · 11/09/2023 11:58

Lots of differing opinions! I am definitely treating it as a well-being issue but just mindful that they also enjoy the attention that comes with it, which I realise sounds quite awful. Their work is ok although I think they lack confidence so I’m trying to provide more support and training on their actual job responsibilities.

OP posts:
DatumTarum · 11/09/2023 12:01

Summerdayzz · 11/09/2023 11:58

Lots of differing opinions! I am definitely treating it as a well-being issue but just mindful that they also enjoy the attention that comes with it, which I realise sounds quite awful. Their work is ok although I think they lack confidence so I’m trying to provide more support and training on their actual job responsibilities.

Sounds like a good approach.

Can you give them something to lead on? Something they can take ownership of and be proud of? Doesn't have to be huge. It could make them feel more at home and engaged as well as build confidence.

Ignore HelplessSoul unless you fancy a nice day trip to an Employment Tribunal.

Oblomov23 · 11/09/2023 12:03

Helpless was a bit harsh!

Suckingalemon · 11/09/2023 12:27

Following with interest because I have one the same and it's really hard work.

And in my case I think it's total naivety on their part, I resist the urge to scream "you don't know you're born, this is not a high pressure awful workplace, you are just expected to be accountable for a reasonable amount of work. And management show appreciation of hardworking staff in multiple ways."

It's putting me off hiring from that generation to be honest.

Suckingalemon · 11/09/2023 12:29

Datum, I've tried your approach, they are full of initial enthusiasm for a new idea ( a health and safety improvement, a new protocol development, marketing ideas) but the enthusiasm dies out and they don't deliver, despite being given tools and air time to senior management

Starlightstarbright2 · 11/09/2023 12:36

Depends on environment ..

At our workplace this is dealt with humour - .. oh not like you to be complaining .. morning briefings are very positive .

assuming there is no real substance to issues …

in reality I think if your having meetings what can you do to create a more positive environment in the office?

perfomance - we need to see a more positive attitude in the workplace .

aspirationalflamingo · 11/09/2023 12:40

Have you actually explained this to them directly? Or just hinted and hoped they'd guess?

girlygirly · 11/09/2023 12:45

HelplessSoul · 11/09/2023 11:31

Formal warning, warn them about their conduct and behaviour. Monitor their performance and then get them fired.

Remove the flexible working privilege, force them back to the office. Weekly issues are taking the piss.

Come down on them using the rules and manage them out and get rid. People like this are time and oxygen thieves.

Yeah, that'd help!

You can't fire someone for being a misery guts (I'd have been out years ago) 😂😂

TheLongGloriesOfTheWinterMoon · 11/09/2023 12:46

The people needing a formal warning are those calling this person names to the line manager (the OP)

unfor · 11/09/2023 12:47

You may have already done this, but I think spelling it out to them is a must. They may come from a family where moaning is the norm and not realise that this isn't acceptable workplace behaviour. If they have issues they should bring them to you.

TheLongGloriesOfTheWinterMoon · 11/09/2023 12:51

As kindly as possible, OP, do you have much experience of managing lots of people with different personalities? Having meetings with someone because you've been told they have moods is treading a very fine line between a manager being empathetic and borderline harassment.

Nothing you've described warrants anything other than walking on by and getting on with your job.

Are these meetings where you ask the person about their moods minuted? Does your line manager and HR know you're doing it? What is the official reason for the meetings? Probation? Performance?Because the person is already on some kind of disciplinary action that they've been told about in writing and agreed to (the meetings) Are other people subject to weekly meetings? Does the person have representation? Union?

This all sounds very dodgy.

TheLongGloriesOfTheWinterMoon · 11/09/2023 12:53

What have HR said about your weekly meetings? (I missed the part where you said you'd spoken to them, apologies)

LightlySearedontheRealityGrill · 11/09/2023 12:54

Not much you can do about energy vampires and moaning myrtles in the office unfortunately. They kind of create their own reality as everyone starts avoiding them. Probably a bit of humour where possible might help, but ideally that comes from their peers rather manager.

jumphopskip · 11/09/2023 12:58

Hmmm it's a tricky one. There are definitely things at work that I don't even think about now, which when I'd first started work I'd have found very frustrating / annoying. This is what 20 years of conditioning does to you!

Also, it can be a confusing time in your first job if you're being told to bring your whole self to work, as well as potentially being assured that you're bringing "fresh eyes" to the team. Yet on the other hand when you share your true self / feelings you're told it's not appropriate. I think this can be very difficult to navigate when you don't have much work / life experience.

That being said, I agree it shouldn't be left to continue. Could you have say ten mins in each of his 121s where he's allowed to moan to you, but then has to move on and get on with it? At my work we sometimes use the "disagree and commit" approach - it's ok for everyone to share views, but once a decision is made everyone is expected to focus and get on with it.

UsernameNotAvailableNow · 11/09/2023 12:59

You have to be really clear to them that their attitude at work is having a negative impact on the team, and that it needs to improve. You have to spell it out for them so they have a chance to improve. If they don’t then it becomes a conduct issue.

Ime lots of people know the boundaries and are happy to follow them. Others need them spelling out to them otherwise they just take the piss.

BelindaBears · 11/09/2023 13:02

Some people on this thread have never worked in a team with someone like this and it really shows. Have they been employed there less than 2 years? I’d be trying some of the sensible suggestions given and if no improvement, managing them out. You have the well-being of the rest of the team to consider too and I’ve left teams before because working with people like this can be soul destroying.

DatumTarum · 11/09/2023 13:46

BelindaBears · 11/09/2023 13:02

Some people on this thread have never worked in a team with someone like this and it really shows. Have they been employed there less than 2 years? I’d be trying some of the sensible suggestions given and if no improvement, managing them out. You have the well-being of the rest of the team to consider too and I’ve left teams before because working with people like this can be soul destroying.

"Managing them out" is another term for bullying.

DatumTarum · 11/09/2023 13:48

TheLongGloriesOfTheWinterMoon · 11/09/2023 12:46

The people needing a formal warning are those calling this person names to the line manager (the OP)

Yep

Giggorata · 11/09/2023 14:02

I inherited some team members that I had to try and integrate into my team. They came from a different workplace culture and were very negative, vaguely sulky and quick to highlight issues and problems, especially within team meetings.
Finally, in desperation, i instituted a rule that no one was permitted to bring up any work issue unless it was also accompanied by suggestions to address it.

It worked because my old team members were pissed off with the negativity and were quick to adopt it, so that they reminded team members about it instead of me having to do it. It therefore began to feel like more of a team owned thing.
It also produced some good discussions and ideas, and I think gave team members a sense of empowerment, because their suggestions were heard and taken up, if they were any good. (the final decision being mine), and it also provided an opportunity for praise.

Personal issues, problems, reprimands, etc were still dealt with in 1-1 supervision

Losttheplotsometimeago · 11/09/2023 14:07

Thing is, having to work is a pisser, and not everyone is capable of faking clappy-happy. I think the idea of any kind of "warning" just for your basic personality/mindset is bonkers and possibly a good way to get on the wrong side of employment law if the employee has autism or similar. Tread carefully...

I am a smile and nod type myself (in public!), but I have to admit I prefer my negative colleagues who at least have one foot in reality to the ones who are eye-popping enthusiasts.😁