Possible to withdraw resignation without losing all credibility

[Puppalicious]

Had an earlier thread about leaving. Have doubts about new job. I haven’t carried out enough due diligence and I’m worried about the new boss. Was almost in a car accident yesterday (not sure if this is related) but then at lunchtime I was in tears about leaving and in the afternoon I had a panic attack. I’ve never really had panic attacks before. I felt sick all evening and had to take camomile tablets. Now I’m awake with worry for the 10th night in the row. I am v senior in the organisation and whatever credibility I had has been blown over the last few days. But I’m not sure it’s right to be having panic attacks before a new job.

If you have not sent in the written letter of resignation, you have not resigned. You have indicated verbally a wish to do so. You can go back in on Monday and say you have reflected on it, and changed your mind and would like to accept the counter offer. But you need to do this because the current job and position is better for you professionally and personally, not because you think you cannot possibly be any good at the new job.

@Peonyblush81 thats what he said initially but he said he offered a small increase in the end. But obv deep down he doesn’t think they work which is why I knew the promotion opportunity was gone. I wouldn’t give it to me in the circs!

A friend rescinded her resignation and is still at the company. One of my employees attempted to rescind hers but had been absolutely awful in the process of resigning and I didn’t offer that she could stay. I know now that she still regrets resigning.

If you genuinely want to stay, talk to your boss. Maybe you need a couple of weeks off to regroup?

No they won’t do comms til they have the letter, but they would have expected it yesterday.

Yes it is primarily fear of failure I guess is the motivation. But that is linked the the fact that I do have a lot to lose as I do love my current job.

Just hand in your written notice. It's too late to back track now imo

Sounds like they are happy for OP to go

peri menopausal anxiety is very common….

Maybe they are happy I’m going.
That makes me feel even more anxious!

I know who my replacement would be. He is excellent, better than me, so yes they’re probably glad to see me go. I don’t know how I’m going to get through the next few months professionally and without breaking down.

If you want to withdraw your notice do it. Don’t worry about what others might think or say. If you’re asked about it, just tell them that you changed your mind or the new job wasn’t right for you at the moment. Or tell them that you don’t want to discuss it.
It’s your life, your choice and you don’t need to justify yourself to others.

Are you sure he's better than you? Or is that your anxiety talking?

Honestly, I would talk to your boss on Monday. I know lots of people who've withdrawn their notice over the years. I've done it myself more than once, so it's fairly common. I did ultimately end up leaving, but when the time was right for me.

Regarding the new company - can you find any employee reviews on Glassdoor? You might be able to find more information online too, to help your decision.

If you don't have long term prospects at your current company you need to tear off the band aid and leave. You're going to have to sooner or later and you have the good new job to go to. If it doesn't work out you have gained experience in another area which will help you get another job.

If you still like doing your current job then don’t leave.

The ship has not sailed.

Tell your boss that going through this whole process has made you realise how much you enjoy your current job.

Yes, I agree with this.
You have a really low view of your abilities, and I would be a bit disappointed if, after several years in my team, one of my colleagues was talking about herself like you do. It’s my role as line manager to make sure my colleagues have opportunities to grow and develop and to get training in areas they are not sure about. And I would want them to be confident in their abilities - it is why they were hired! Are you really sure that your current job is that brilliant if you were looking to leave and you think you are not that great at your job?!? So much negative self-talk.

Sorry OP but your posts aren’t really clear and you’re letting emotion cloud your judgement.

It’s normal to not know anyone when you start a job and get to know people over time. It’s normal to not hit the ground running in a new job but to improve in time. It’s normal to have a supportive team and managers. It’s normal to be nervous for a new challenge.

These things are not exclusive to any employer. There’s no reason you can’t have a good experience in your new job. There’s nothing about your current job that you can’t find elsewhere. You can have everything you have now, and more career development.

you need to write down everything you have achieved in your current company and read it every time you doubt your abilities. You didn’t get the new job on a fluke

if the new job doesn’t work out, you can get another job elsewhere. Maybe just remain on good terms with your current team to keep the door ajar when you leave. But you should still leave.

In my last company the CCO had his resignation announced and then withdrawn to the whole company and stayed on for years. It does happen. Follow your gut and stop worrying so much about the optics of everything and what everyone will think. If your gut feeling is telling not to take the new role then don’t take it!

I feel like we go our whole lives developing instincts and then when our instincts are clearly telling us something we’re like “oh must just be my mind being silly”.

Tell current boss how you’re feeling, that you thought the new position would be a great challenge but as it’s become more real you’re realising how much you value your current company and team and would like to stay and take on the offered temp promotion as well.

I haven’t read all the follow up posts. But if you have a bad gut feeling about new job (and it’s not just nerves) then talk to your current employer, let them know you made a mistake and you want to stay but only if that’s definitely the case.

Just say this from experience. Moved jobs because of flexibility (I really liked my old job, team etc). I got the ick from new job interview and said I wouldn’t take it to family but then their flexibility/ offer was so much better I was blinded. Took it and tbh a year in I’m still not settled, I’ve found it awful and just wish I’d listened to my gut to be honest x

And ps yes old job offered me more flexible hours etc etc once I’d handed in my notice (money was still less and so was flexibility).
hownslty wish I’d taken it 😢

I’ve been in a similar position and made a leap into a new industry using my transferable skills. I was very nervous after so long with my last employer, but made the leap because my progression prospects were limited where I was and the culture in my old department was grinding my confidence out of me. My new role doesn’t stretch me as much as I’d hoped but the people are much nicer to work with. I am starting to look for a move, but only because I need more challenge. I’m glad I made the leap and I’ve proved to myself I can do it successfully.

The new job doesn’t have to be forever. Think about what skills and experience you can gain from it and focus on that. If you have misgivings tell yourself you can start job-hunting in earnest at, say 12 or 18 months. You may surprise yourself and find that you really enjoy it. Even if it’s not a great fit and you move on, you’ll have acquired insights about what works for and what doesn’t. That’ll help with your future career planning and understanding your strengths. Don’t let your bad experience in your role before your current one cast a shadow over this move. It’s the anxiety talking. Thoughts are not facts!