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Original poster

I’ve had to step down from management (before I was pushed). What now?

41 replies

Schooltripmess · 09/08/2023 13:21

I’d appreciate some advice on an unwanted situation at work.
some years ago I joined a newish firm just as a consultant and set up my niche area. It was my baby and it’s been really successful.

The business owner always had misgivings about me -I’ve heard him say to candidates that my strengths and interests are more on the technical intricacies (he apologised for that).

As the business grew he appointed me department head. We’re now a happy close-knit team of six and we’ve smashed our targets.

However, my boss then decided, without discussion, to split the department in two (on very unnatural lines that in my view will create operational problems). The candidate he preferred (not my recommendation) asked me in interview “what will your role be?”. I think he was concerned he’d be walking into a drama. I think he was also giving me a friendly warning.

I met with boss and set out my red lines which he agreed. But clearly it isn’t going to work. Boss wants complete freedom and hasn’t told me anything about plans for what is now “other half” of the work. he’s also downgraded another key project of mine. It got dysfunctional/he got angry/I got emotional and I decided to get out of the way and step down. Otherwise there were just going to be big arguments/I’d get sacked.

every other aspect of the job is good - after all it has been built around me. I have close colleagues who respect me.

It’s annoying that this has happened as my team really rate me and we were the best performing team. But I dont (yet) have the skill to guide the team (or half-team) on a path I don’t approve of without getting frustrated in a way that shows.

My pride is wounded and I’m annoyed to be one more stereotype of a woman pushed aside for a younger man more in the boss’ image. Boss is basically a decent guy but running a £10m business alone so has to be ruthless I guess.

Am I doing the right thing to step away -right away -from management at this point and just “do the day job” so as not to crowd my new colleague? Or will that be misunderstood?

OP posts:
Timeforabiscuit · 09/08/2023 13:26

I think you are being way too passive about this, you are not subservient to big boss, you are a senior specialist in your area and head of - assert yourself!

If this isn't working, part ways, it really is only a job, sometimes they are brilliantly places to be but inevitably people and situations change, it looks to me like you need a fresh challenge.

I'd start scoping where your best opportunity to maximise you potential is, what do you want to develop, and leave this role.

Whataretheodds · 09/08/2023 15:10

What @Timeforabiscuit said. Don't devalue yourself, but don't Waste your efforts trying to change the outcome where you are.

SanRaz1 · 09/08/2023 16:13

Time to move on OP. x

Saschka · 09/08/2023 16:19

Christ, don’t step down, put your resignation in! How happy do you think you will be in the medium term, demoted to a lower-paid role while a new person is appointed to run your team over your head?

And if you work in this lower role for a bit and then look for other jobs, it is going to look like you were shit and couldn’t hack the head of Dept role, so your boss demoted you, and you are probably leaving now before you are sacked altogether. You’ll make yourself unemployable in the more senior role.

Abblaster · 09/08/2023 17:22

Time to move on ! You’ve learned a lot and given your expertise . Time means your value add is now taken for granted and you’ve got it to the next level . For that you can be proud. Bank that and move on. Go and get a big pay rise working somewhere else

Original poster
Schooltripmess · 10/08/2023 02:50

wow what lovely supportive posts. Thank you. Totally true that my value add is now taken for granted.

one issue is client following. I’ve been really dedicated to the team and am an expert delegator. So I’ve helped each team member develop great relationships with the clients whilst not cultivating my own. Am hoping that I can quickly rebuild these whilst I’m away from the management role.

OP posts:
Soggycushion · 10/08/2023 03:07

Go somewhere else and gradually recruit your old team. Leave him in the lurch. In fact, are you able to negotiate with one of your competitors that you all go?

Soggycushion · 10/08/2023 03:09

Can any legal bods comment on whether this could be constructive dismissal?

Monty27 · 10/08/2023 03:21

Walk and leave boss person to clear the mess they've created and deal with their own insecurities. Not your issue. Don't be undermined OP.
Best of luck 🤞

lousyatchoosingnames · 10/08/2023 04:21

Can you set up as self employed?

Thisisthedawningoftheageofaquarius · 10/08/2023 04:49

I def wouldn’t step down - if you think it’s what he wants don’t give him the satisfaction

yoire going to have reduced responsibility at the same pay - use the extra time to look at other opportunities elsewhere; and internally I would see what happens. If it’s a mess as you predict then they will need you to sort out. If not you could suggest other responsibilities that you would like to take on. I would also have a discussion with your boss about your role and how he wants you to progress… how he sees your role evolving.

also make notes as it could be worth getting advice on constructive dismissal

finally / don’t take this personally (I know it’s really hard), but it’s work, if you get emotional in there you are losing so if you’re upset don’t let on.

this will all work out (eventually!!) and best of luck

Mummyoflittledragon · 10/08/2023 04:54

The boss may own a 10m business but doesn’t understand your role. It seems madness to bring someone else in when you were smashing targets with a supportive team. Time to walk away. Stay in touch with them.

floribunda18 · 10/08/2023 04:55

Christ no, move on. He sounds dreadful and threatened by you.

Somewhereovertherainbowweighapie · 10/08/2023 05:05

You have lots of options. I would look for something else. But in the meantime work on the client relationships, (unless it’s in your contract that you can’t) get a job with the competition and lure them away. Ask for a percentage of what they bring in. Then slowly poach the staff. You need to look at this as coming from a position of power. Lots of people are recruited specifically to do this. So don’t be upset, jump back in to a different role work on the relationships and stick it to the boss down the track.

Jewel1968 · 10/08/2023 05:16

Sounds like boss has a vision that doesn't include you. He likely will let you go when new guy is settled in. I agree with others - it's time to move on. If, however, that difficult for financial reasons then I would not step down but accept it will likely lead to clashes with boss and possibly new guy.

Seems to me boss doesn't really value what you bring to the company and won't until you are gone.

Paq · 10/08/2023 06:55

I have painful experience of working for a place where my face didn't fit. I tell you sincerely the only thing to do is move on.

Sounds like you are brilliant at what you do, get of of there before your confidence is destroyed!

Original poster
Schooltripmess · 10/08/2023 12:52

These are amazing posts and so spot on. That in itself is so encouraging - it shows I’m asking the right questions. Thank you and I hope I can repay some time.

boss was great in the past and I owe him a lot - it’s those bonds of gratitude, and fear, that have held me back. I’ve tended to appeal to them, hence the “losing” pointed out above. There was never any upset/emotion before he started undermining me.

I ran my own small business when the kids were small based on word of mouth only. Then I built this team. So I must be able to do it, right?

OP posts:
LetMeEnfoldYou · 10/08/2023 13:08

Oh this exact thing just happened to me!

I hung on for the salary tbh but my motivation was utterly gone.

Original poster
Schooltripmess · 10/08/2023 15:00

Hi LetmeEnfoldYou, kudos for the username.

are you still there? How long is it since you stepped down?

do you still think about leaving?

OP posts:
LetMeEnfoldYou · 10/08/2023 15:18

No, I waited until I was pushed because I basically wanted them to explain why they were firing me (because it was all made up nonsense and a clear case of 'your face doesn't really fit'.

I'm starting a new job in a few weeks and am so bloody glad to have moved on. Life is too short for your job to make you feel bad.

Original poster
Schooltripmess · 10/08/2023 15:29

Do you wish you had walked sooner?

OP posts:
LetMeEnfoldYou · 10/08/2023 15:32

Yes. Sticking around got me absolutely nothing but heartbreak and shattered confidence.

Original poster
Schooltripmess · 10/08/2023 15:51

I’d better do my CV!

it’s hard when you’ve been happy somewhere isn’t it?

OP posts:
Original poster
Schooltripmess · 10/08/2023 15:52

How long did you stick?

OP posts:
LetMeEnfoldYou · 10/08/2023 16:15

Yeah it's harder than people can understand. I fucking loved my job. My friends. The long-term career I thought I was building.

It's been devastating.

I'd say I stuck around for 2-3 months longer than I should have. I could have been flying in a new job by now.