How to carry on after passed over for internal promotion?

[horseymum]

So frustrated after being passed over, feel some of the feedback was unjustified, also I know my colleague who got it and it seems like you just need to be better at talking about things. Sounds like sour grapes, it's not, I really like her. I'm frustrated we were put in this position. Our team is great but this is going to affect the dynamics. I want to know how to come across as more strategic and with better leadership skills but we've had no training for years. I don't know how to start looking for the training I obviously need. I'm cross we've just been ignored when asking for training.

Its tough, OP! Can relate as this just happened to me too. What I'm finding difficult is that my new line manager is completely clueless and constantly tapping into my experience to support him in meetings. I’ll just have to lump it as there's nothing to move to, either internally or externally. I also work for a university and it seems to happen here a lot 🙄

Me too! Felt gutted at the time. Am working in a very poorly paid charitable sector so hoping to leave and retrain next year. Almost any salary will be more than what I am currently on.

My own experience is that “training” for promotions provided by the employer isn’t really a thing. That might just be in my sector but having been promoted fairly rapidly through the ranks over the last 10 years from going back after maternity leave at relatively entry level right up to C suite, it’s never been off the back of any targeted training.

Instead, I have done my own homework. I read management books and articles on LinkedIn, watched webinars and Ted talks, networked with peers and joined industry groups at my own expense. I’ve occasionally sourced and paid for some external training and taken holiday to attend it and once dabbled with an executive coach but dropped her after two sessions because she didn’t seem very good! I’ve had a few mentor relationships with men and women who were at the time senior to me and have likewise mentored people more junior to me. I also volunteered as a trustee of a couple of charities and as a school governor and that had the added bonus of giving me experience of chairing large meetings, managing difficult egos and got me familiar with financial and management reporting.

So my advice would be to plan and source your own training if this is what you want using a variety of mentors, books, online resources all of which will be free or low cost and consider some sensible investment in any external help which you think will improve your chances if you can afford it.

This one is quite a good read to give some inspiration as to how to get your successes noticed

https://www.amazon.com/Rules-Work-Expanded-Definitive-Personal/dp/0137072066

Have no idea what area you are in but I think this works anywhere..

You have to think strategically - and it takes a bit of time. If you can't do it during work hours then it has to be done outside. Think what is not working well here and what should it look like in 6 months time - then what steps need to be taken to get to that..

In the short term - don't moan, always respond positively to things and help out others who need it.

It's a combination of short term behaviour and medium term thinking

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Women are often criticised as not "thinking strategically" but the reality is that it's ingrained into us and we do it so naturally that's it not always obvious when we're doing it!

All the things people refer to as the mental load for women are effectively women strategising to get through daily life!

I've been working with a coach and she's taught me that there are subtle things we can do to get across the fact we're doing it.

One of them is to use the word ie tell people!

So instead of saying "the plan is...." say "the strategy is....."

Instead of "let's brainstorm some ideas" say "let's come up with a strategy".

It sounds totally wanky and we shouldn't have to do it, but sometime to get ahead in your career you just have to play the game.

@Katrinawaves thanks. I'm more than happy to find my own training but I guess I don't know what I don't know! And what is worth spending time/ money on. I've looked at future learn, uni courses etc. The feedback was I didn't demonstrate enough leadership skills or decision making which basically sounds like I'm a bit crap! It's hard because I'm passionate about the organisation , I just think it's falling apart as everyone keeps leaving. I know they will keep coming to me for answers, which I will be able to to give, I just don't seem to be able to articulate or demonstrate the skills they want, so they will use my knowledge but not promote me. I will help people out but it frustrates me that I can't progress.

@FrangipaniBlue I think you are exactly right, I just need a cheat sheet of all the right words. I do have a friend who is a CEO, I think she might be able to help as well.

Do the training and reading (Open University free courses are where I started) but sorry to say when I was in this position I had to move on to move upwards. I think once management have decided you're not what they're looking for it's very hard to change that perception. Funnily enough once I'd gone elsewhere for a more senior role I ended up being invited back to my previous workplace. It took me leaving for them to see me in a different light.

The hard bit is that they’ve considered the consequences of passing you over, and decided they’re worth it.

So really you need to leave to progress as it’s so hard to change people’s minds about you. No reason you can’t request the odd course from this job that’ll help you elsewhere, if you think they’d be open to paying for training.

You are both right, and I actually have an interview for another job elsewhere, I just don't want to fail at another interview. I don't really want to stay knowing they think Im not worth promoting. However, I might not get this other external role so will need to do something to improve my prospects and show them I can change. I'm going to look at open uni.

I had a better job within 6 weeks. Jumping from band 5 to 7.

The person who got the job was very articulate and did a better interview. Fair enough. But no way was I dealing with her shit any longer whilst she hid in the clinical room!!

After being passed over three times for people way less qualified and experienced than me, I quietly quit. Part of the problem is, I will speak out and say what I think. My manager finds this challenging instead of constructive, and resents the fact that I am so much more qualified than she is.

I'm not a million miles off retiring so I am looking forward to that.

I was overlooked for an internal promotion. It totally wrecked my confidence so I got some professional interview coaching / practice. I got the promotion next time around. The coaching helped me rehearse good strategic answers and helped me to overcome nerves.

Well a wee update, this gave me the motivation to work really hard for another external interview, which I was successful with. The CEO said I did a great interview and my experience shone through so I was actually even more pleased with that than the job offer. Hang in there if you've been knocked back! I did get some help from a couple of friends to help me word things and some tips on the actual interview.

Well done OP. I’m sort of thinking along similar lines. I’ve been criticised for not being strategic enough, but everything is getting done… as someone said, I need to tell them what I’m doing and call it à strategy…

That's brilliant, well done!

@Radiatorvalves yes, everything we do also has a fancy name. I didn't know blocking out time in your calendar for tasks was called timeboxing till my friend told me I needed to say I did it! ( I already did it, didn't know it had a name!). I think the strategic thinking one is annoying and the only thing that some managers think they do better than the rest of us. But we actually plan and do ( and review obviously). I just tried to be really clear about planning, and using words from the JD, like influencing etc. Get some help from someone who is more senior in another organisation, it really helped me.

Its not your employers job to give you training for promotion.

Well done OP!

I'm doing an MBA at the moment and the module around strategy has been really enlightening. It's not just "plan and do", jargon or waffle but I do agree with you that it's easy to throw around phrases like "strategic thinking" and "leadership approaches" without really knowing what you are talking about.

If you do want to continue to progress beyond your current level try to get a good senior leader mentor and spend some time critically reflecting on your strengths and impact so that you know if you have any areas you want/need to develop. I bloody hate self-reflection but it's been really useful for me.

That's helpful.

This is so true. If you are experienced, qualified and speak your mind, you are often viewed as a threat rather than an asset.

In my last job I was passed over several times for promotion, with roles not being interviewed for, people just being put into them. Fine, disappointing but that’s up to my bosses.

When a role that was made for me and I literally ticked all the boxes for came up, i was a bit humph about having to interview for it, and even more when I was told that instead of an 8k pay rise I would only get 10% of my current salary - about 2.5k. I was overqualified for the role I was doing as I’d been a career changer, but the role that came up fit my experience and skill set exactly. I’ll be honest, having seen people placed into roles they had no experience of while having to interview for a role I could do with my eyes close, that I wouldn’t get the full salary for if I got it, told me my company clearly weren’t that bothered about retaining me.

While I was writing my personal statement for the application I decided to apply for other jobs too. When I got one of them, with a hefty pay rise and recognition of my experience, my employer tried to keep me but it was too late. 2 years on I am very happy in my new role. They make me feel valued. Currently on Mat leave but development has been freely available and more planned for when I go back. My advice, honestly, is leave.