How to carry on after passed over for internal promotion?

[horseymum]

So frustrated after being passed over, feel some of the feedback was unjustified, also I know my colleague who got it and it seems like you just need to be better at talking about things. Sounds like sour grapes, it's not, I really like her. I'm frustrated we were put in this position. Our team is great but this is going to affect the dynamics. I want to know how to come across as more strategic and with better leadership skills but we've had no training for years. I don't know how to start looking for the training I obviously need. I'm cross we've just been ignored when asking for training.

I had a situation where I was asked if I'd be a team lead and I initially said no. I just wanted to do my job and liked being independent.

My manager asked me numerous to times and finally, after really thinking about it, I said yes and they asked the person who I was to lead if they were ok with it and they said no.

So that opportunity was 'parked'. I gave my manager honest feedback on the total fuck-around and stopped with my 1:2:1 with this person where I was actually helping them to get shit done.

Employers generally want the unsuccessful candidate to leave, in my experience

That will teach me to read all the updates first! Congratulations!

If you don't think you're going to get over it, I'd start job hunting now. In one job me and two (female) colleagues went for a promotion and all independently realised it was some patronising box ticking exercise and they had no intention of giving any of us the job, no matter how well we interviewed. They brought in a man on probably 3x our salary to do the job, and he was useless.

I left. The other two are still there but very demoralised and resentful.

I feel for you. This happened to me once and I ended up leaving for another company who offered me that promotion I’d wanted and more money. There was a lot of gnashing teeth “we can almost guarantee you will get promoted next year”, but the damage was already done.

A friend of mine has set herself up as a coach for women newly promoted to management and she’s doing rather well!

Having been in this exact position I loved your update!

Have you told the original employer you're leaving yet?

I fantasise about telling my employer to ram it as I smile & help the new person who got the job I wanted!

I've been for an interview this morning but they said it's in the office everyday rather than hybrid working so I won't accepting it even if I get it!

Onward & upward!

I haven't told my line manager yet as I don't want to spoil her weekend, she's not the reason for leaving. I want to have my contract in hand which won't be till Monday anyway. The only annoying part is it's full time instead of four days but I needed out so badly I'll suck it up for a while.