Being forced to travel to another office regularly isn’t sustainable long term?

[Hairspray0]

Long story short, I need to move to an office 4 hours away from where I currently am because my mum isn’t well. The whole team there are now leaving so I’ll be on my own. Work say I’ll have to travel down to this office “as and when” for client meetings, training etc because I’ll be on my own.. despite saying a year ago that nobody would ever be forced in to any office but that’s another matter I guess.

I am just not keen to do an 8 hour round trip potentially weekly, I can’t commit to it and it’s just not sustainable in the long term in my opinion. I would have to leave about 5.30am, sit on a train for 4 hours, work my 7 hours, then straight back to the train station and get home about 11pm. I definitely do not want to do overnight stays which I will have to do if there’s something that starts pre 10am! If I did overnight I would have to do a full days work, travel for 4 hours and get in about 10pm, then same again the next day.

AIBU to think this just isn’t doable? In all honesty I think it disadvantages women who tend to bear more caring responsibilities outside of work but maybe I’m being a drama llama?

I wfh (my contract states this), my head office is a good 3 hours each way away, my company pays for a hotel and my travel expenses each time I have to go, the same if I have to go to a customer site.
Sounds like your company will do the same, how often is 'as and when'? If it's a few days a month then yes, it is doable, if it's 2/3 times a week and you want to go home each night then no.

Yeah I’ve said already if that’s the rules then that’s the rules, I’ll have to quit. It is just very annoying to have had the goalposts changed on me multiple times.

Also my thread wasn’t to ask if it was reasonable of my employer to make me do this, I asked if others thought it was doable.

I don't think you have really been clear what the issue is with your employer. You say you only want to know if it is doable, but then are complaining about your employers seeming unreasonableness.

Of course it is do-able, whether to want to do it is clearly another matter, as clearly you don't want to. You haven't really outlines the nature of need of your mother. You seem to be worrying about when and if you have children (though you don't mention a partner)..

I think that you don't want to do this and you are trying to justify an unreasonableness on the part of your employer. It is fine if your life and plans have changed and you want a different job. Just go and do it, you don't need to find someone to blame.

As is said above I do similar. It’s very doable if you’re happy to make it work for you. Give it a go and if you hate it, find an alternative. The journey could be good for working or listening to podcasts/reading/learning for a new role?

A few people (including me) have commented on how doable it is and how it could be more so eg set days, grouping office work together a few days at once, doing an overnight.

but yes, twice a week is not doable, twice a month is, and you have no idea which at the moment - ?

Unless you're a full time cared I think this could be sustainable. I worked in a London office where people commuted from Scotland, England and Belgium and Nottingham. Everyone over the age of 35 lived out of London. The senior staff were provided with hotels and travel expensed. The others had flats or rooms.

For some people this would be way too much tbh but for others it's totally manageable and normal and possibly even fun. If you're returning to where you've been based you could scare up some fun or keep up connections.

Have they actually said that?

I think it's quite common to have a 'home' office and travel to be paid to an 'away' office. The question is whether your central Scotland or the NE Scotland office is the 'home' one - ?

I think if your employer is genuinely trying to build up a national presence etc and encourage people to move to the NE Scotland office then sometimes coming to you or allowing you to dial in would be reasonable. If actually they'd prefer the team to be in one place and it's only you who benefits from the possibility of working in NE Scotland then it'd be better for you to be able to demonstrate that it's workable or that office might close, or stop being an option for certain roles etc.

I am nothing short of gobsmacked by your entitlement. You requested to go to another office to be near your mum, your work very kindly agreed to it and now you are complaining about being asked to travel to your original office in order to attend meetings. I bet they wish they had just accepted your resignation.

Hey sorry I’m the OP but had an account prob.

I hardly think work “very kindly” let me move offices - when I told the senior manager I was thinking about it and would it be ok he laughed and said “go ahead, we can’t stop you”!

Then when the partners were told of my plans they actively encouraged me to move, it would be so good for you/the business blah blah.

Sorry I am the OP with diff name 😅

Yes staff handbook says travel away from your “nearest office”, had several emails to confirm too. Also one of the partners has been encouraging me to find business reasons to travel up before I move so I can expense my petrol when I want to go home! I didn’t bother though, that would be CF territory.

You can only try it or scrap the plan and stay where you are if you don't want to resign

You also need to factor in the serious lack of reliability of the train network right now and the very high cost of season tickets/ordinary tickets. I don't know if it's Transpennine you'll be using but if you are prepare for uncertainty and expense pretty much every time you try to travel. It might be doable in the summer but those six months of northern winter will be here before we know it. Personally I'd start looking for another job.

Have you put in a formal flexible working request in writing to your employer asking to be based at X office & can you ask for WFH too ?

Be aware that your company does not have to accommodate your request & they can reply that it does not meet their Business requirements

I work with some people that have very long commutes

I am in a similar position. I am in the process of relocating. Once I have secured accommodation I will be leaving my job, because my employer does not allow WFH (although it was allowed during covid - how ironic). From my perspective, you are very fortunate, because I will be job hunting soon !

I'm not getting it you want to be nearer mum but your gona be working most of the time anyhow

I think this is the bit that we're all finding quite baffling - of course they could stop you moving offices and as you describe the situation there is no advantage at all to the business of your move. I guess there is an advantage that you haven't put on this thread? Because from the outside it does seem that they're being very flexible for you and you're being bizarrely ungrateful for that. If that's not the case it would have been better if you'd been a bit clearer about the fact that this has some big advantage for them because that feels like a crucial missing piece of this puzzle and that's really affected the answers you've got.

Why don't you try it out and find out if it's doable for you? There's no harm trying. Your employer sounds reasonable and if you like your job and have a reasonable, flexible deal, I wouldn't jack it in without another job to go to personally.

Is is Glasgow to Aberdeen sort of places and distance? If it's got decent train links, I think it's doable. I know a lot of people who worked in Aberdeen but lived in England. Men and women with kids. It isn't brilliant, but it worked OK.

I find it sort of entitled that you just expect your employer to accommodate your personal life even where what you've asked doesn't meet business need. If you aren't able to take on clients nearer that north east office, it sounds like there isn't really a role for you there?

They are paying you to do the job you were hired to do, where the job is located. If you need a job in a different location it is on you to apply for one.

Why is it putting women at a disadvantage

This thread is getting on for 2 years old; I’m sure op has worked it out or quit by now.

So you’re moving 4 hours away from your to look after your mum and you think your employer should facilitate it and not expect you to cone in to the office when needed - the office you chose to move 4 hours away from

What type of care does your mum need and is she likely to improve? Lots of people travel, including abroad, for work and have care responsibilities. You may need to employ some carers for when you aren’t available.

Zombie thread, folks!