Asking permission to leave my desk

[Seasonofthewitch83]

I work in a small admin company and this week my manager has decided that every single time we need to leave our desks, we have to tell him where we are going. He says he needs to know where we are at all times for 'safety reasons.'

I have digestive issues as well as heavy periods (which has been documented with occupational health who said I need to take frequent bathroom breaks) and I am finding having to ask permission every single time as well as tell him what I need to do totally humiliating, especially in front of colleagues. If he is on the phone or in a meeting, we are told to stay at our desks until he is available.

There is no reason anyone needs to know if we leave our desks, it does not impact our work or other people.

My breaks are not excessive or long.

What is the best course of action here?

Yes - agree. If safety is such an issue that someone must know where you are at all times, he should tell you.

But really, the key point is that asking for permission is bullocks. I could ALMOST understand if you did a quick "just popping to the loo" as you leave your desk, but permission?! FUCK HIM.

Even DD, who's 8, when playing Roblox just says, "BRB" when she's off to the bathroom or whatever.

Is there anyone above him you can complain to?

In any event, point out that you have a basic right to privacy under the European Convention on Human Rights and this contravenes it.

Oh ... and sometimes menopause falls within the discrimination legislation. Requiring reasonable adjustments to remove disadvantages - uniform changes, etc. I don't think what your employer is doing is ok. You may be able to use the Equality Act to help you here.

As you have an HR department take it straight to them stressing that you don't want him to know who has said anything

Why are people quoting the entire original post? We’ve read it, ffs.

^This. Your condition has already been documented by OH.

Knowing if your in the building is reasonable (I remember a fire evacuation (fortunately a false alarm) during lunchtime that was a complete nightmare because no one was sure if people had left for lunch, now we have to tell someone. However assuming your toilets are in the same building that's not reasonable.
The only time I've needed to tell someone I was going to the toilet was in a customer facing role where I needed someone to cover my station. Your situation doesn't sound like that.

Refuse to do this, it's ridiculous. He can't enforce it without looking like a prize knob. If he tries, shout personal info loudly "just going for a poo" when he's on a call.

Also look for another job 😂 life is too short to have toilet breaks documented!

We are a team of 4 women.

Of course you are. No way would he expect this from a man.

At my work, we are expected to sign in and sign out of the building for safety reasons (fire mainly), but I have never worked in an environment where I had to let anyone know if I left my desk. This is ridiculous and likely a power play.

I once walked out of a job because a manager asked me where I was going when I was on my way to the toilet.. I said ‘I need the toilet’ and they replied with ‘you need to be asking a manager before leaving the floor’
I never went back, because I am a grown adult and refuse to ask permission to pee or change my tampon 🙃
Probably not helpful to you but I find it amazing that this is still expected in work places where it isn’t necessary (I understand there will be certain roles where communication is needed when leaving your work station for safety reasons I.e. pilot, surgeon etc - but not just so a nosy boss can see if you’re taking too many 2 minute breaks to raise with you in your next appraisal)

I would just ignore this. Yes let him know if you're leaving the building but otherwise carry on as before.
If he pulls you up and says where have you been, you haven't informed him.
Just tell him you will NOT be telling him every time you go to the toilet.

There's no way he can take this further without looking like a bullying idiot.

And look for another job

How do the other women feel? Do any of them take excessive breaks?

If not, perhaps you can just agree between to not do it, and if he asks, just say its completely inappropriate. There are no safety issues and people should not have to tell him if they are going to the toilet etc.

You could compromise and tell him if you're leaving the building "for safety reasons" ie, in case there's a fire I guess.

@Seasonofthewitch83 talk to HR if you can or have one.

do ask him where he’s going every time he gets up if you feel confident enough. Ask him with a big breezy smile on your face and maybe get a special notebook to take note of the reason and time. Every single time.

id tell him my periods really heavy and I’m about to flood my sanitary pad. I’d be very detailed in what ever reason I ‘made’. Passing clots. Big ones. Prefer to do it in toilets and change pad and cleanup. IBS flare up and I need to go or they’ll be an unpleasant incident…. I’d make him feel so uncomfortable.

certainly wouldn’t sit their waiting. I’d walk out and announce loudly to the room - printing/smoking/toilet/brew break etc.

what do the other women feel like about this?

I would just ignore and carry on.

If he pushes again ask him to direct you to the company policy and safety procedures that contain the requirement.

Not that its that relevant OP but approx what age is your boss, is he new and is your Manager one of the owners? I agree with others its ridiculous and he would not do it with men. Get the other women onside and get it stopped

Informal meeting time. You say John, this request is harassment. I understand the routes out of the building in the event of incident, and when at work I am either at my desk or in the toilet. Can we agree that I do not need to inform you of this please?

If he says no. You escalate a written grievance to HR. It will be dealt with promptly, I assure you.

you got there before me

print out a load of cards with the above on, and leave on his desk as you walk past

I would say really I appropriate things ...going to change my tampon , need a poo. Etc. Go into huge detail

Is there someone more senior than him. If there is I would raise it with them. He sounds like he is on a bit of a power trip. If there is someone I would be flagging it with them and the fact that this could be seen as a form of bullying and leaves the company open to potential claims.

All four of you just need to agree with one another that you'e not going to comply with his demand.

Either that, or make up a large A-frame sign which reads: 'GONE FOR A SHIT' in 6" high letters, and whoever goes to the loo can put it in a prominent position on their desk.

Loving these suggestions!

None of us have been there more than two years, I guess we are worried that he might just let us go, I don't think we would have much recourse?

Agree and play him at his own game, all four women joining in.

Oi, nobber, just letting you know that I'm off to change my sanitary towel before the blood soaks through on to my seat.

Oi twat, Just letting you know I am going to the toilet. Not sure whether I'm going for a dump or it's just a big fart but I'll update you on my return.

Ask for the risk assessment that details the safety risk and why this a good control for that risk.

I was once asked to report to someone every time I went to the toilet - but it only applied to me. I said I'd do it if they could provide a risk assessment and this new rule applied to the whole team (50+ people). I never heard back. (Yes it was a bullying tactic and I left eventually.)

None of us have been there more than two years, I guess we are worried that he might just let us go, I don't think we would have much recourse?

He'd be fucked if all of you left at once.

Interesting article here

It's a ridiculous rule, especially if there have been no instances of people taking the piss (pun not intended!).

If he insists, having an office of women otherwise is definitely in your favour. I don't know about you, but I'm very open about talking about my periods with other women, so wouldn't care if they knew.

Speak with the other women and see if you're all happy to take the same approach - it's even better if they are. Then loudly declare exactly where you're going and why. Most men will cringe at the first mention of anything blood related.

Otherwise, work to rule. Start work at 9am on the dot. Finish at 5.30pm on the dot. Take exactly one hour for lunch. Don't do anything that will do him any favours.

If there is someone, I'd definitely take it above him - is there a higher manager or HR department? Policies for things like this should be company wide I would have thought, so do any of the non-admin teams have to do the same? I suspect I know the answer to this, which is no, your manager is just being a dick.