Advice needed for handling a colleague making snide remarks

[mollymaebae]

I have been in my current employment going on 6 months. I am well experienced in my field of work (healthcare), so am very competent in my area of work. I have been employed with the same organisation on and off for the last 20 years.

I am mid 40's and my colleague is mid 60's. This person started off friendly with me and for the last few weeks has been making snide and sarcastic comments to me. Some examples include:-

• Making snide comments regarding my marital status
• Making snide comments regarding my financial status.
• Will interrupt conversations I am having with other colleagues at lunch and criticise what I am saying in front of others, implying I have said something wrong, which then leads me to second guess myself.
• Constantly eavesdropping on my conversations.

I believe she is trying to be funny and joking around, but now it's just got to the stage where it's really starting to piss me off.

I don't think I have done anything to upset her, other than having some friendly conversations with her, in which she has formed judgement and assumptions of me. I think she does it other people too, but feel I am being more targeted, perhaps for being new or perhaps she has just decided she doesn't like me or even weirder maybe she thinks she's trying to be friends with me.

I had an informal chat with my line manager, who says they have been having some issues with her, without revealing too much to me, and to document everything. I have been starting to document everything but look, I don't really want to make it so formal and be dragged through a process.

If it continues, I'm thinking of approaching her in the first instance and asking her to stop.

I have tried to limit interactions with her and not engage with her as much anymore but why should I have to go and sit in my car on my lunch break to avoid her.

Anyone experienced this? Any advice? I'm getting too old and tired to be dealing with this kind of crap!

TIA.

@Showersugar This is good advice and how I will tackle it in the first instance.

@Missymarple It's so frustrating isn't. I suspect this comes from a place of insecurity too, this woman has mental health problems, but most of us do and we don't treat people like this!

Best of luck, let us know how you get on x

Whisper to her so nobody else can hear that she is an utter cunt. Smile and walk away...

I would advise telling her the comments are making you uncomfortable and you’d like them to stop. If you need to raise a grievance later you can demonstrate that you’ve tried informally, made her aware and she hasn’t adjusted her behaviour.
someone may not mean something (I reckon she does) but once the are made aware- they need to take note.

You have to challenge it in the moment.

Slight brag: I did this today! I felt like such a grown up! Colleague made a joke comment about how I dont have much to do. I said you know those comments really upset me because they're just not true. And he said oh right, and that was that. No drama. And just to make sure I checked the case loads - he has the highest, I have the second highest.

I would ask “what do you mean?” every time.

I find asking people to repeat such remarks works well.
So if she makes a snide remark such as something around you being lazy (just an example I have no idea what she’s said) say “did you just suggest I’m lazy?”
Shes unlikely to say yes but if she does say “interesting, what makes you say that?”