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AIBU to be irritated by my colleague leaving early?

59 replies

Trialsandsmiles · 17/05/2023 17:15

Please tell me if this would seriously irritate you and if you would take this further.

I have been in my job for around 5 years working for a larger organisation but in a remote office with just myself and my senior colleague. He is divorced with two children, 1 at senior school and 1 finishing primary shortly. His arrangement with his ex wife is that he has them one night in the week and alternate weekends. However, he has never bothered to organise child care for the part of the day between school collection and finishing work, we finish at 5:30. As such, since I have been working with this man, he’s upped and left at 2:30 leaving me to do both our jobs which generally means on his early finish days, I’m stuck in the office until at least an hour past my finish time as there’s too much that has to be done before the day can be considered finished with reporting sales etc.

I’ll add that our more senior bosses etc are not aware at all of the frequency of his school runs as we are generally left to it. He did organise and pay for his younger child to attend after school club when his former wife went back to work full time, but only on her set days with the children and didn’t think to put them in for his days, so he is aware of the availability of childcare. He often claims to be “working from home” etc, but he seldom even reads his emails, is regularly in the car with bad signal or clearly doing other things with the children screaming and shouting in the background and talks to me horribly when I can’t assist him with something as I’m already snowed under due to his lack of attendance. To put into context our jobs are very reliant on real time information, think commodities and finance so being at a computer screen is required for the job. He also cancels meetings or doesn’t attend them etc if they don’t fit in with his pick up times.

Am I allowed to think this is grossly unfair? He’s a man of more than fair means, would be earning well over £150k plus bonuses, two children at private school and a large house, so it isn’t like he can’t afford some child care he just chooses not to and expects his colleagues to pick up the pieces of his choices. His ex wife has now returned to part time work and lives very close to the school so they would be able to walk to her home and wait for him to finish, as they would have parental supervision but this doesn’t happen even though it would cost nothing at all. I feel that if I was in the same position and running off to collect my children, I’d be put on a 32 hour week and paid accordingly like other mothers within the company have been, yet he’s on his full salary but only doing 80% of the working week. I’ll also point out that I earn around 75% less than he does, yet get calls constantly from him when I’m on annual leave or sick but that’s for another thread.

so what do you think? Am I just being bitter and should let it drop? Or would you be bringing this pattern of behaviour to the attention of those higher up?

YABU - this is normal and I should just put up with it
YANBU - this is out of order, report it to your HR department

OP posts:
Mabelface · 17/05/2023 17:17

I'd report to the higher ups as he's taking the piss.

Shinyandnew1 · 17/05/2023 17:18

I can’t vote but I think he is really taking the piss if he’s leaving you to do his work. I’d tell your line manager.

NowZeusHasLainWithLeda · 17/05/2023 17:19

You said he's your senior colleague. As in senior to you?
Maybe he has a different arrangement with management due to parental duties (like many working mothers are given) that you don't know about.
If you are doing his work and your manager doesn't know you are, then complain about that. But really, the other part is nothing to do with you. Presumably the fact he leaves at 2.30 doesn't go unnoticed and if it weren't allowed, he wouldn't be doing it, surely?

GoodChat · 17/05/2023 17:21

He may well have agreed this when he started. Just stop doing his work. That's how you'll get the attention of senior staff without sacrificing yourself.

tappitytaptap · 17/05/2023 17:22

I'd be irritated too OP. Pisses me off no end when people do this at my work. One guy even lied and said the after school club hadn't restarted since covid. I had to bite my tongue from saying I wondered what I was paying for for my own child then (kids at the same school)

CheezePleeze · 17/05/2023 17:23

I mean this kindly OP but there are so many threads on MN at the moment where people are coming across as complete and utter wet lettuces.

Read what you wrote...

As such, since I have been working with this man, he’s upped and left at 2:30 leaving me to do both our jobs which generally means on his early finish days, I’m stuck in the office until at least an hour past my finish time

And now ask yourself what you're playing at. You don't need Mumsnet to tell you this needs to stop.

HewasH20 · 17/05/2023 17:23

Is he your immediate line manager?

Trialsandsmiles · 17/05/2023 17:24

He doesn’t have any special arrangements with this, like I say we are really left to it so no one is really aware he’s missing other then our other departmental colleague who he used to be in business with before they sold up to our current company. He says he’s always been like this pre and post kids, why be at the desk when someone else is.

OP posts:
Brefugee · 17/05/2023 17:25

Stop covering his work, do your work and go home.
make sure you cover your backside in terms of making sure you have a record of trying to contact him, him cancelling f2f meetings, cancelling meetings generally etc etc.

Tell him that you have done/are doing this, and that you are not prepared to cover his work as well as your own. Escalate as necessary.

Do you have legal insurance or are you in a union?

Soozikinzii · 17/05/2023 17:25

I agree with everyone else that's unfair on you . Very awkward for you I can see . Is there someone you know in the management who you can mention it to ?

Chewbecca · 17/05/2023 17:27

Is it once a week? Does he work longer hours other than this? Will the child be at secondary from September?

Chewbecca · 17/05/2023 17:28

And what happens on that afternoon when you are on holiday?

Trialsandsmiles · 17/05/2023 17:30

When I’m on holiday he kindly leaves everything for me to do upon my return. He does the bear minimum of his own job

OP posts:
Trialsandsmiles · 17/05/2023 17:31

No, even on his “full” days he often leave early to the gym

OP posts:
MillenialAvocado · 17/05/2023 17:35

YANBU. I got mad just reading it.

Iyiyiiii · 17/05/2023 17:35

Trialsandsmiles · 17/05/2023 17:30

When I’m on holiday he kindly leaves everything for me to do upon my return. He does the bear minimum of his own job

Well stop fucking doing it then? (I know, sounds harsh, but you need to stand up for yourself, no one else is going to do it for you)

What would you tell your dd (if you had one, and she was having the same issues) would you tell her to suck it or do something about it??

Mardiarse · 17/05/2023 17:37

I’m more curious about why you’re doing the same job for 75% less than him, if you’re covering his tasks in his absence.

Geppili · 17/05/2023 17:39

Journalise everything and go to senior management.

BigFatLiar · 17/05/2023 17:41

Complain. This has always been an issue. If your not on flexi then you need to sort out child care/school runs.

OhhLaaLaa · 17/05/2023 17:43

I think I've been reading too much Phillip and Holly, as my mind immediately went to Schofe being annoyed that Holly left This Morning early! Sorry OP Grin

GoodChat · 17/05/2023 17:46

Trialsandsmiles · 17/05/2023 17:30

When I’m on holiday he kindly leaves everything for me to do upon my return. He does the bear minimum of his own job

So it's very clear that it's an option to leave work.
So leave it. Don't work late. Nobody will thank you for it.

Reugny · 17/05/2023 17:49

OP why are you doing his work?

You won't get a pay rise from it.

You also need to see if you can befriend a manager more senior than him so you can arrange a meeting at 3.35pm on one of the days he leaves early.

Otherwise ask HR why he has flexible working, giving date and time examples of the days he leaves early to do the school run and go to the gym, and you don't.

HanSB · 17/05/2023 17:51

It's making me angry reading this. You need to stand up for yourself, report it and either he does his working hours or you get paid more for working overtime. However I would be looking for another job where I didn't have to work so close with such a horrid person who takes advantage of and looks down on me.

mrsblueskyeye · 17/05/2023 17:54

You know why he does this? Because YOU facilitate it.

Grow a pair, stop covering his work, it won't ever stop as long as you enable it.

Pearfacebananapoop · 17/05/2023 18:49

I would enquire as to flexible working arrangements quite innocently and say you'd like what he has...

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