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Original poster

If you work in a male dominated environment do you feel you get treated less well than male colleagues?

30 replies

SpreadableCheeseOnEverything · 01/05/2023 20:27

Because I certainly do.

Male colleagues get away with what they want. I get micromanaged.

Male colleagues get constant praise and acknowledgement. I get nothing for the same achievements. Even the low performing male colleagues get constantly bigged up.

Then todays thing; I did a work task the same way that all the male colleagues do it, day in, day out, and got a public 'bollocking' for it and apparently I'm doing it incorrectly

Is there anything as a woman I can really do about being treated unfavourably?

OP posts:
EBearhug · 01/05/2023 20:28

Dunno. I am the one (the only woman) they made redundant.

HundredMilesAnHour · 01/05/2023 20:32

Have you spoken to your line manager? Always the first step. I'm assuming you have and were fobbed off?

Temporaryname158 · 01/05/2023 20:32

No I’m treated as well as anyone else. Where I work it’s how hard you work and if you do your job well. If you do both of the above you are respected and taken care of.

JamMakingWannaBe · 01/05/2023 20:32

Nope. Not in my present company but in a former organisation they treated me like a delicate exotic flower - when I am not! They were just so unused to qualified, experienced women in the workforce.

Original poster
SpreadableCheeseOnEverything · 01/05/2023 20:36

My line manager is the worst person for doing it, unfortunately.

When I've tried to query anything I feel like he gaslights me

OP posts:
HundredMilesAnHour · 01/05/2023 20:43

SpreadableCheeseOnEverything · 01/05/2023 20:36

My line manager is the worst person for doing it, unfortunately.

When I've tried to query anything I feel like he gaslights me

Are you keeping a log of all these incidents? If not, start now. I'd suggest having a chat with HR for "some advice" and see what their reaction is. I'd also start following up your line manager 'discussions' with an email summarising what was said. It's important to start building up evidence beyond the "he said, she said".

Itcouldhappenabishop · 01/05/2023 20:55

Nope. But I'm scary 😁

SequinDiscoBiscuits · 01/05/2023 21:01

Then todays thing; I did a work task the same way that all the male colleagues do it, day in, day out, and got a public 'bollocking' for it and apparently I'm doing it incorrectly

Did you a) point out that's how everyone else does the task? and b) if the bollocking was public and nobody else got bollocked for doing it the same way, then surely this was noticed by colleagues? Did anyone back you up?

updin · 02/05/2023 11:37

My opinion isn't given the same weight. I've been in the position where I've been saying we need to do X for weeks and they go "yes, hmm, yes" dismissively, then one of the men suggested it "oh yes of course!". I'm a specialist in my field but they'd go over my head to find external opinions, always men.

I am intelligent, articulate, clear and assertive. It was absolutely because I was the woman in the room, not helped by my age either, I'm younger than average for my grade by 10 years or so.

I changed jobs, yet to see if it's improved.

Ponderingwindow · 02/05/2023 11:48

No, exactly the opposite. I work on a project basis and my specialty is male dominated. I’m often the only woman on the team and I find the men go out of their way to make sure they don’t display any sexism. I’m sure it helps that I am in demand and projects don’t want to lose me, but it’s really just the culture at this point. I can’t say that things felt the same way 25 years ago.

HundredMilesAnHour · 02/05/2023 13:11

updin · 02/05/2023 11:37

My opinion isn't given the same weight. I've been in the position where I've been saying we need to do X for weeks and they go "yes, hmm, yes" dismissively, then one of the men suggested it "oh yes of course!". I'm a specialist in my field but they'd go over my head to find external opinions, always men.

I am intelligent, articulate, clear and assertive. It was absolutely because I was the woman in the room, not helped by my age either, I'm younger than average for my grade by 10 years or so.

I changed jobs, yet to see if it's improved.

I had the same experience when I was younger (and less senior). It was intensely frustrating, However, it changed (it felt almost overnight but I suspect it wasn't) as I built my reputation and moved upwards. Being female AND younger can bring added complexity and you really do have to work harder (than your male older peers) to gain the respect. But once you gain it, it seems to stay with you.

I still work in a male dominated environment (although more females are in senior roles in my current organisation and the balance of power has definitely improved) but it is very much a meritocracy.

updin · 02/05/2023 13:17

@HundredMilesAnHour it's really frustrating because I'm not junior, I was the single specialist in my field at that organisation, the the authoritative voice on the specialism, but I was so easily dismissed (not by everyone I have to say but a specific group of people there that I needed support from). I'm week 4 in a new organisation, time will tell if it's easier here.

Aprilx · 02/05/2023 13:59

I wouldn’t say I work in a male dominated industry overall, but I was one of a small number of senior females and particularly when I lived in another country that had a slightly more macho culture at the time. And no I was not treated worse, if anything I would say treated a little bit better as I was more unusual.

SaveMeFromForearms · 02/05/2023 15:01

It's the opposite for me; my make boss can be really quite abrupt and scathing about my male team members, but is always very polite with me 🤷🏻‍♀️

LocalHobo · 02/05/2023 15:06

As the only woman in a team of 50 (construction), absolutely not.
My company are pleased that I am there, and bend over backwards to keep me happy.

ForestRun · 02/05/2023 15:19

I'm the only woman. I get treated really well. I'm given flexibility for childcare and I'm paid just as well as the men are.

StamppotAndGravy · 02/05/2023 15:27

I have been ignored, belittled, micromanaged and harassed in previous roles. I'm not sure which was worst. My current job is amazing though. I'm actually slightly worried about it going the other way and the blokes getting resentful. I am really good at my job though

whatisforteamum · 02/05/2023 17:07

I've worked in a male dominated industry for years...4 men and myself in most places.
Sometimes treated better then the guys sometimes a bit worse if they drink together and socialise so let the others get away with stuff.
I much prefer it to my current role with all women who gossip and decided to ostracize me and generally leave me out of the loop.

HundredMilesAnHour · 02/05/2023 19:22

updin · 02/05/2023 13:17

@HundredMilesAnHour it's really frustrating because I'm not junior, I was the single specialist in my field at that organisation, the the authoritative voice on the specialism, but I was so easily dismissed (not by everyone I have to say but a specific group of people there that I needed support from). I'm week 4 in a new organisation, time will tell if it's easier here.

@updin Do you think some of their behaviour could be because you're new rather than female? Or a really miserable combination of the two? (so the worst of both worlds!)

Saying that, when I've moved to a new employer, much of the time it's been other (senior) women who have, quite frankly, been bitches to me. In my previous role, I had two senior women both of whom were longstanding employees and one seniority level above me but had made a horrendous mess of the programme I was then brought in to fix (so realistically they were never going to love me). They were so awful to me. I've never experienced nastiness quite like it - and I come from an industry that is considered to be very aggressive and is very male dominated. They were sycophantic to the men but I was the anti-Christ. One of them even ran to a Board Member (who I hadn't yet met but would be a key stakeholder for my work) and told him a pack of lies about me excluding people from meetings etc. Not a good first impression for me. Especially given the meeting she was so angry about was nothing to do with me and my only crime was having received an invite to it (like various other people i.e. men). She then ambushed me at the end of another meeting with a list of my "behaviours" that she seemed to think I should apologise for and beg for her forgiveness. That conversation didn't go well for her. 😜 I should add that I successfully delivered the programme that she'd failed at (actually that a whole series of men and women had failed at). And no, I never apologised for my "behaviours".

I have no idea why certain women persist with trying to torpedo other women in senior roles. It's vile and unnecessary. There's room for more than one senior woman at the table but it seems some women are just as bad, if not worse, than some of the male dinosaurs that crop up every so often (less so these days thank goodness).

updin · 02/05/2023 20:30

@HundredMilesAnHour sorry you've experienced that. The women were actually really supportive (in my directorate at least, I have met some characters along the way!) this was my previous job so I wasn't new, in fact the people I struggled with were all new themselves starting after me, whether that says something in itself I don't know.

AliceOlive · 02/05/2023 20:32

updin · 02/05/2023 11:37

My opinion isn't given the same weight. I've been in the position where I've been saying we need to do X for weeks and they go "yes, hmm, yes" dismissively, then one of the men suggested it "oh yes of course!". I'm a specialist in my field but they'd go over my head to find external opinions, always men.

I am intelligent, articulate, clear and assertive. It was absolutely because I was the woman in the room, not helped by my age either, I'm younger than average for my grade by 10 years or so.

I changed jobs, yet to see if it's improved.

This sounds very familiar. It isn't this way everywhere. I always wonder if it is something I have done, or the way I communicate. It really is sad. I don't think they even realize they are doing it. Lately everything is about D&I and that makes it feel even worse.

RecycleLeo · 03/05/2023 04:42

I am treated exactly the same as everyone else

I have received good feedback from other departments that I work with

However, I think that some other females would struggle with the male dominated culture

A good sense of humour & being able to communicate well helps

Sanch1 · 03/05/2023 17:47

I've been in a male dominated industry for 20 years and never felt like I've been treated differently, better or worse.

QuickGuide · 03/05/2023 18:01

I did it for 23 years. There was plenty of every day sexism in the language used etc, but I don't think I was disadvantaged by being the only woman. It was often quite useful, for example in a room of men grey suits, I'd be the one whose name was remembered.

I don't think I was managed more harshly either. Sometimes expectations were lower, so my successes were more "special" iyswim and managers wanted me to succeed so they could "prove" they were giving opportunities to women.

Guineasrule · 03/05/2023 18:01

Yes and no. I have been held to higher standards many times, but especially when I have had women managers (either directly or +2). Women (from my experience) will always ran to a male colleague for anything ‘technical’ even if I was the SME and the man knew nothing about the technology.

men can be shameless as well. They will lie through their back teeth & even if they know absolutely nothing about a topic they will just talk as if they do. Plus they will use your work as their own.