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Original poster

Returning to work after Mat Leave - not going well

36 replies

Lookingforluck · 20/04/2023 21:50

Hi everyone, hoping for some friendly advice. Feeling really quite low and stuck with the situation.

I went back to work in January after maternity leave. I was looking forward to going back (although had the usual mixed feelings!) I agreed to go back 4 days,
but would use annual leave to work 3 days until the summer at which point I’d move up to 4.

Anyway, I’ve been getting myself into a routine with work/childcare etc. but have started to feel overwhelmed with the workload I have and trying to fit this in to 3 days. Long story short, I have worked most evenings and weekends (when little one is asleep or napping) to catch up with work over the past month or so. This week I spoke to my boss who is the business owner to say I was struggling. Sadly and unexpectedly, the conversation turned quickly into a heated exchange. I had hoped we could look at moving some of the workload around over the next few months whilst I caught up. I have been onboarding some brand new clients and I was worried that if we didn’t make a good impression initially and I wasn’t responsive to their needs, we risk losing them. Within a couple of months, once I better understood their systems and got quicker at completing my tasks for them, it would become more manageable (plus I’d be up to 4 days a week).

My boss completely twisted the words in my email and when talking face to face. Made statements that I didn’t want to do the work which is something I have definitely not said. Explained that we only took on these new clients because I was returning to work. She also said I was on a 4 day contract and so had a workload for 4 days even though I’m only working 3 days until the end of the summer (something that had always been known). Is this legally acceptable? I just feel like I’m set up to fail for half the year, trying to fit 4 days work into 3.

I have never been involved in such a confrontational conversation. The conversation ended only because I said we were going round in circles and I would just have to continue with the workload as it is.

It’s a small workplace in terms of staff numbers. My boss hasn’t spoken to me since and I have just been going in and sitting quietly at my desk, getting on with my work. It has just turned completely toxic and I have no idea what to do. I feel like there would be no coming back from this now. From my side, I thought my boss was very unprofessional and became very personal in the discussion. I’m not sure how I can get past that. Equally I seem to have angered her beyond belief and I’m not sure how she will move past this! I was hoping for stability post Mat Leave but now I’m thinking I’ll need to find a new job. Not sure what to think or feel right now. Any advice would be greatly appreciated!

OP posts:
Greensleevevssnotnose · 20/04/2023 21:54

Can you turn to pregnant and screwed not sure if they cover maternity? Join a union quick as you can as they can help you after three months. It doesn't sound like they are treating you fairly at all. A good HR lawyer shoul help maybe post in legal too

WTF475878237NC · 20/04/2023 21:54

To be honest I would be looking for another job after that. She sounds so unsupportive. It isn't fair to give you four days' work to do in three at all and my usual advice would be get more boundaried with your time and confident saying I haven't had an opportunity to do X or sure, I can't do both by the end of the week, so what shall I prioritise etc to better manage her expectations. However it sounds like there's a big rupture here and you'll get treated so badly you're better off leaving!

catchthedog · 20/04/2023 22:03

I've recently allowed a staff member to do this and use annual leave for a few days a week for a 3 month return period. however its on the condition that her workload is actually manageable with her working in this way. if she is unable to do the work that is required, then it won't be allowed to continue and she would need to use leave in the normal way of larger blocks. your boss may have a point if you're unable to do your workload due to the way in which you are choosing to spread your hours?

FawnFrenchieMum · 20/04/2023 22:08

catchthedog · 20/04/2023 22:03

I've recently allowed a staff member to do this and use annual leave for a few days a week for a 3 month return period. however its on the condition that her workload is actually manageable with her working in this way. if she is unable to do the work that is required, then it won't be allowed to continue and she would need to use leave in the normal way of larger blocks. your boss may have a point if you're unable to do your workload due to the way in which you are choosing to spread your hours?

Surely that doesn’t make sense though as where will the extra time go when she comes back four days? No one can reasonably do four days work in three days or they wouldn’t be paid for four days to start with?

catchthedog · 20/04/2023 22:14

she's choosing to use holiday though rather than contractually working 3 days. therefore her workload will contractually be 4 days and it's up to her to ensure she can meet business need.

Original poster
Lookingforluck · 20/04/2023 22:16

Thank you for your responses so far. Just sharing this has taken a weight off my shoulders and knowing that others understand why I’m struggling with this.

@catchthedog I said to my boss that if she felt the working arrangement on 3 days wouldn’t work for the workload and that taking a block of annual leave at the beginning would have been better then she should have discussed this with me before I started back. When I said that, all she said was ‘oh come off it!’, like it’s unreasonable for me to say that!

OP posts:
catchthedog · 20/04/2023 22:19

Well her response doesn't sound great, but I understand if it's something that needs to be reassessed by you both. that's why with my staff we have made it a temp option with a review point. I hope you can resolve it amicably

Original poster
Lookingforluck · 20/04/2023 22:27

Thank you@catchthedog
Perhaps it should have been thought out more carefully on both sides.

OP posts:
dandeliondaisy · 21/04/2023 22:07

I hope you're ok. Sending lots of support. Makes me sad for you that you're having to deal with this at a time in your life when you need support and kindness as it's such a massive life change having a baby and then trying to navigate the workplace (and of course you want your free time to be spent with your little one not stressing about work). Sounds really shit and I bet she doesn't have kids!

Original poster
Lookingforluck · 22/04/2023 07:15

Thank you @dandeliondaisy
Strangely she does have children but they are teenagers now and I think she’s forgotten the struggle or just has the view that she went through the struggle too so I should just get on with it.
For now, I’m getting on with my work but setting boundaries as someone has suggested whilst I let the dust settle and figure out what to do next.

OP posts:
moonspiral · 22/04/2023 07:18

It sounds like the holiday arrangement isn't working so I'd stop it and work 4 days as soon as you can. It will make the return a lot less stressful as you'll be able to keep on top of the work. The 1 day holiday a week clearly isn't working for either party.

Lifesagamethentheytaketheboardaway · 22/04/2023 07:22

Who would usually cover your annual leave? Why aren’t they covering the 4th day workload? Or at least sharing it?

maryberryslayers · 22/04/2023 07:43

Just do as much work as you can in the time you're at work, it's a job, nothing more, if it doesn't get done, then it can either wait until you're next in or be picked up by someone else. If your boss doesn't like it, she can review your workload as you previously asked.

moonspiral · 22/04/2023 07:46

Lifesagamethentheytaketheboardaway · 22/04/2023 07:22

Who would usually cover your annual leave? Why aren’t they covering the 4th day workload? Or at least sharing it?

Because they have their own workload. If I go on holiday for a week the team can't absorb a weeks worth of work.

HyuNis · 22/04/2023 07:49

Who would usually cover your annual leave? Why aren’t they covering the 4th day workload? Or at least sharing it?

This^
If someone covers your work when you're on leave then this should be happening 1 day a week. If your work is normally scaled back so can be left until you return then that should be happening. If you have less workload on a month you take leave then that's what should be happening. It's annual leave, you're entitled too it.
But as PPs have said maybe you're as well to just go up to 4 days now and take annual leave in blocks as current arrangement isn't really working for you.

Good luck

Phineyj · 22/04/2023 07:52

Unless it's impossible to get childcare for the 4th day, I think you may as well work 4 days as all this evening work.

It will at least free up some evening time to apply for new jobs!

I sympathise - I went back on a 0.8 teaching contract after maternity, which they spread over 5 days, so it was basically a 20% pay cut to work full time.

Very common unfortunately.

3luckystars · 22/04/2023 07:59

That sounds really tough. It also sounds like you probably need to have another talk with your boss to clear the air. Easy for me to say that because I don’t have to do it and would be cringing my way through it too (and would probably want to leave the job rather than face it!!)

it does sound like there is something deeper going on. I hope you get to the bottom of it and clear the air, but please stop working extra hours to cling onto the ‘3 day week’ or you will burn out. All the very best.

Tinybrother · 22/04/2023 08:07

catchthedog · 20/04/2023 22:14

she's choosing to use holiday though rather than contractually working 3 days. therefore her workload will contractually be 4 days and it's up to her to ensure she can meet business need.

what Happens to those four days’ contracted work when AL is taken in a week’s block?

it’s fine to say it doesn’t meet business need because of the pattern of how the work falls or client need or whatever, but the contracted hours argument doesn’t make sense unless you also expect people to work the same number of hours during a week that they have taken a block of AL. The OP is working the annual contracted hours. I think the employer is annoyed about accrued leave but can’t do anything about it.

Original poster
Lookingforluck · 22/04/2023 08:30

Thank you everyone for the extra responses. I suppose I’m just confused about the expectations and the conversation with my boss before returning to work should have been more thought out on both sides.

With regards to the accrued annual leave, I’m legally entitled to this and it has to be taken. But as far as I can tell from what my boss said, there is the expectation that I have the same workload as any member of staff on a 4 day contract but I have double the annual leave to use and so am trying to achieve it in fewer days (essentially I have a month less in which to do it I’ve the course of a year).

I have learnt my lesson with formalising this sort of thing from the outset.

OP posts:
Original poster
Lookingforluck · 22/04/2023 08:32

@3luckystars
You’re definitely right.. there needs to be another conversation and I’ll be dreading it! I just need to get my thoughts aligned before I suggest this!

OP posts:
GrumpyPanda · 22/04/2023 08:37

Is it actually a 4 day workload or your I assume former full time workload?

Kitcaterpillar · 22/04/2023 08:38

How generous of you 🤨

catchthedog · 22/04/2023 08:42

@Tinybrother it's fairly easy to move workload around for a week or two, you'd just move your meetings, have a bit of a busy week when you first returned after leave. but having it stretched out over a longer period and working short weeks is going to make the OP have that "busy catchup" period continuously which is much less sustainable (for her as much as the business)

SheilaFentiman · 22/04/2023 11:58

My work doesn’t let people do what you are doing with accrued leave, possibly for this reason. She should have been nicer about it, but it does seem that you need to review whether taking 1 day off a week is sustainable long term.

HyuNis · 22/04/2023 13:09

SheilaFentiman · 22/04/2023 11:58

My work doesn’t let people do what you are doing with accrued leave, possibly for this reason. She should have been nicer about it, but it does seem that you need to review whether taking 1 day off a week is sustainable long term.

Mine doesn't really either, except will allow it for 1st 4 weeks back to allow easing back in/nursery hiccups etc. otherwise accrued leave has to be used before returning.
I expect OPs workplace had never done this before so neither OP nor manager knew how it would work out